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AIBU... completely, miserably, stupid boyfriend

1 reply

Valan · 03/02/2016 20:06

Live with my boyfriend/partner in a flat in central London. Am 31, he's 32. We've been together for 7 years. All is well for the most part. I had intended on marrying him.

Over the past year, one issue has developed. It seems like a very trivial issue -and it really is the only thing bothering me- but it isn't something I'm taking very lightly.

I leave for work in the mornings at 7:50. He leaves at 8:35. This means that he locks up. Our flat has a front door into a corridor, with two locks. Then, it had a main door to the street that needs a fob to open. I come home before he does.

Over the past 12 months, boyfriend has three times left for work but left the front door unlocked. First time he did it, I bollocked him. He was rightly ashamed, and promised to be more vigilant. Second time happened months, months later. Same routine, he apologised, I seethed for days.

Tonight I came home from work to an empty flat and unlocked door. I panicked, thought we'd been burgled. Luckily, everything is fine. But I refuse to tolerate this. And I refuse to live with a man who risks our property, our possessions and invalidates our insurance.

Now, I know he is under a lot of stress at the moment, in his high pressured city job - but I am too, in my own and I don't do this.

Also, I'm worried he may be ill and a doctor's appointment will be happening shortly.

But I don't think that these are good enough excuses for his blatant carelessness. Because that's what he is being - careless - he literally just wasn't thinking when he left the door open this morning. That is what he will say when he comes home and is gobsmacked and apologises profusely and I shout.

My question now is, what do I do? I cannot live with this. It categorically cannot happen again. What do I do to stop this? Why should I even have to, I'm not his parent.

As it stands, I've rang him 9 times and its gone straight to voicemail - underground I imagine. So I've texted him to tell him we've been burgled. Just to scare him really. He needs to feel how I felt coming home, hopefully scare some sense into him.

But beyond this, what do I do? I'm completely out of ideas.

DawnMumsnet · 03/02/2016 22:11

Evening all,

We've received a few reports about this thread and have now zapped several posts which we felt were crossing the line.

We can see the OP's been given some good advice here, but there have also been some fairly harsh posts. We know AIBU has a reputation for being something of a free-for-all topic - but it's really not. It's supposed to be about posters seeking genuine third-party insight into their dilemmas, or crowd-checking their own responses.

Can we ask for a bit of peace and love please?

Hope you're okay, Valan.

Many thanks.

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