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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not read every thread I've ever posted on?

37 replies

FedoraTheExplora · 03/02/2016 19:53

I raised a query the other day asking why there wasn't a way to find out if people had quoted you; where you get a notification like other sites. I was told in no uncertain terms by a few people that I really should read the whole thread if I contribute to it in any way.

Is this mumsnet etiquette? Or is there not people like me who may not have the time or inclination to read 500 posts about vibrators (for example), but if someone had quoted me and commented directly on what I had said, I would like to see it?

Surely the prolific mumsnetters who you see post on hundreds of threads a day don't sit and read every single one of them? How do you get anything done?

OP posts:

Eggsandketchup · 04/02/2016 10:34

I always forget I posted on a thread, wander off and get distracted by monotonous chores real life for a week and then come back and it's too late to respond then! I'm rubbish though.

SingingSamosa · 04/02/2016 10:43

Generally, if there's a long thread, I read the OP and maybe a few opening replies, then I press Ctrl F and to search for the OP's user name so that I can read any of her/his replies before I myself respond. That way I don't suggest things that they may have already tried etc.

Original poster

FedoraTheExplora · 04/02/2016 10:45

Oh, don't worry if you don't respond appropriately to someone who disagreed with you on a 500 post thread.
Most likely:
Nobody cares or remembers it.
Someone else has done it for you.
Your point was not defendable if the above didn't happen.
You actually don't care enough about the subject to have only returned to it 500 posts later.

I don't 'worry', I would just like to know. Loved your last point though. I don't care, or maybe I'm at work, or uni, or looking after my kid? Didn't realise MN was a full time job

OP posts:

Original poster

FedoraTheExplora · 04/02/2016 10:47

I use the app, but that's a good idea. I just don't understand how anyone would not consider a quote button and a notification system a good idea. I appreciate the logistics might be difficult, though I'm pretty sure it's available on most forums (?); I'm just shocked at how many people won't even entertain the premise that it may be useful.

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 04/02/2016 11:02

If I posted something on a long thread that agreed/disagreed with a poster for example, and other posters disagreed with what I was saying - grand, no bother. But if there was a notification button or tagging and another poster said "wiggles you're talking shite" I could see how I would get irritated very quickly if I was getting email/pm pings several times when I had moved on from the thread. Would there be a cut off as to how many times a name could be tagged? Surely it would also run the risk of the initial thread being completely derailed by why hasn't the poster returned, they've been notified that their name has been mentioned.

Lweji · 04/02/2016 11:02

My last point was actually:
The subject is not worth returning to if it filled up with 500 posts in a few hours.

The point you commented on (the one before the last) relates to the last. And it refers to not caring enough about that subject. Surely if you did you'd return to it when you grab any 5 min.

But basically, the gist is don't worry if anyone has quoted you or has made any comment about your comments.

Lweji · 04/02/2016 11:03

Personally, I get annoyed with FB notifications when people mention my name or reply after my posts.

If you want that, maybe post on the MN FB page instead of the actual MN site.

Thornrose · 04/02/2016 21:45

Surely the prolific mumsnetters who you see post on hundreds of threads a day don't sit and read every single one of them? How do you get anything done? grin

I don't care, or maybe I'm at work, or uni, or looking after my kid? Didn't realise MN was a full time job grin

What are you really trying to say? Just spit it out! It sounds like you have an axe to grind to be honest.

Original poster

FedoraTheExplora · 04/02/2016 22:03

What are you really trying to say? Just spit it out! It sounds like you have an axe to grind to be honest.

Not at all sounds like you're projecting your own issues. I have no axe to grind whatsoever. I said I love MN, I'm just new and learning how things go down

OP posts:

timelytess · 04/02/2016 22:08

Oh for heaven's sake! MNers are so prissy! Don't read the full thread, or read the fucking thread, just read the opening post (and maybe the OP's updates. Helps to have them coloured. Are they coloured for everyone? I see mine and the OP's posts highlighted) and give your opinion. Unless you're really, really interested and want to skim through... MN is an entertainment, not an obligation.

BIWI · 04/02/2016 22:12

I think it's BlondeOnATreadmill who has the axe to grind:

There are defo people who do sit all day and read every post on a thread. I don't know how they have the time. I find that those users tend to be bullies as well.

Thornrose · 04/02/2016 22:43

at "projecting my own issues"

I have lots of issues but none of them relate to my MN posting etiquette or anyone else's for that matter.

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