to have been a tiny bit judge?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

DS2 is in year 1 in a small country primary school. All the parents take their children to the door of the classroom at drop off and most drive as it is a country school and most don't live in walking distance.

This morning a boy in his class was dropped by his dad over the school wall and told to jump over and run into class. His dad sat in the car and was shouting at him to get into class. The boy was faffing about and playing as little boys do and so since I was walking out I took him into class.

My question is WIBU to judge the boys dad for not parking up and walking his son into school. The boy is very young for his age and seems to be in trouble quite often and so I thought really it was the least the dad could do.

Maybe the parents are odd at our school and other parents do drop on the road and leave their DC to walk in. Perhaps we are too helicoptery?

Just interested really in other views.

I just imagined a fake tanned tilting head like Rinder

How times have changed.

My parents (and all the other parents) used to pop us through the school gate, wave and walk off.

We'd have a quick play in the playground and go into class when the bell went.

I can't get fussed about him popping his child over a low wall, and telling him to go to class. Even if he did splash in a couple of puddles first.

Worra, we used to walk to primary school on our own I used to live on a nearby estate but my husband had to go to school in another village and he had to cross two remote fields and walk down an isolated lane, on his own from the beginning of junior school.
Bonkers to think that happened now.

Agree with Worra; I model my parenting on Virginnia McKenna on 'Swallows and Amazons'.

There was a Y5 parent here who walked her kid to the classroom door. He was 10 and nearly as tall as her. The teacher suggested a couple of times that perhaps she shouldn't do this, she was doing him no favours. She suffered badly from anxiety, and couldn't stop herself. They left the area at the end of Y5 so for all I know she still struggled with it.

Me too Owl. It was about a half hour walk in a straight line, but with quite a few roads to cross.

Much more traffic about now so I wouldn't have let my kids do the same thing, but I'd have no problem with what the guy in the OP did.

None of my DS's schools ever allowed parents in the building. DS walked himself to school and back from Y5. I think they miss out on a lot nowadays. Walking home with your BFF after school, stopping to look at things/play hopscotch/sing songs/generally dawdle was one of life's great pleasures.

I was telling my teenage son yesterday how I used to have to walk several miles to secondary school with a Victoria cake tin full of cooking stuff, a pe kit and school bag as we never had lockers, even in the pouring rain! And cars would go past and splash you and you'd end up soaked through to the bone before you even got to school. We could cut across a quarry but I wasn't allowed, so the time I did I obviously fell down an opening and ripped my skirt all up the back and had to go to my friends house to clean up so my mother didn't find out.

I don't think he believed me :o he just gets out of bed and catches the bus that stops outside the house!

one mum at my last school, boosted her dd 6 years old up a 6 ft wire fence , which she had to climb down by herself. She did it and was very pleased with herself.

We went by kayak once, just for the cool factor.

God, if I was a teacher I would much rather everyone just let their kids climb the fence then drove off.

oh dear, I still take Ys 5 DS1 to the door and kiss him goodbye, much to his embarrassment. I used to walk to school on my own through the village, but we live 45 mins walk from the school down country lanes, so not really suitable for the DC to walk on their own. I would prob let 10yo DS1 but not 5yo DS2.

So I take them, and judge....

I couldn't get too worked up about this.

I come from different planet though. I have to constantly hold on to 5 foot tall DD''s clothing when outside to keep her safe. Enforced helicoptering (sorry dick I mentioned a person with SN and I know there aren't meant to be any)

Myfriend and I used to spend entire days wandering around alone at 7 or 8 in days of yore

Sorry am like rambling drunk person although sober. Am tired and about to fall asleep

So OP you've now been persuaded that it's worse to take your Y1 child to the door and kiss them goodbye than to tell them to jump over a wall and get themselves in? Don't be swayed by the competitive laissez-faire on the thread. Your way's better.

Was the dad wearing pyjamas?

Other than the very first day or two, I've never taken mine to the door . Didn't know you were supposed to. I either dropped them in the car park or saw them into the gate! Eek. Do I win the bad mother award???

Funnys - ignoring the drop off thing, I'd be more concerned about the opposite: are the kids safe when they are in school? The DCs aren't supposed to be able to escape from the playground during school hours; it's part of the Safeguarding section of Offsted inspection. (Let alone the prospect of someone gaining entry into the school building.)

Why is any one way better? I don't get it. Who cares really how other people parent their children and why does it matter so much that you feel the need to judge? There's such a spate of these threads at the moment where people want to judge and have everybody agreeing with them that x, y, z action makes so and so unfit to parent (because they themselves wouldn't do it). Do what you like because you obviously think your way is the only one worth anything.

Other mothers... I'd catapult my (suitably safety gear-attired) children over a school wall to avoid speaking to these paragons.

My y1 kid often walked to school without me (with two older siblings in y3 and y4). I think what he did was fine v

He's probably one of those blokes who doesn't want to have to make boring small talk with other parents.

Sounds quite sensible to me.

I thought this was a new phrase I had to learn, 'I was a tiny bit judge', quite disappointed it was a typo (was going to impress the children).

Anyway, I think sending a Year 1 child from the car/outside into the school gates is absolutely fine. I used to do that with my aged 5 child because if her sister was asleep in the car, and there was no-where to park, I used to pull in and quickly shoo her into the school, watching for her to get to the gate or the teacher. I even left her a few times once I saw other parents milling about.

I let them walk from the car to the school (different school) together from Yr 1 and 3, just a couple of hundred yards, just again to increase confidence.

It does depend on the child, and if you can see the gate/them go in, but usually it is fine.

I am amazed (and a bit 😳) that other parents would care enough to start a thread about this. The boy was safe and watched into the school grounds, wasn't he? I regularly send my YR2 son into school begging me to walk in with him (and occasionally crying about my refusal). I have 2 younger children, and if one is asleep or ill or the weather is especially shitty I just can't drag all of them across the playground. So I park up, and walk DS to the gate (watching him walk up to the school building) while also watching the car. Maybe not the best solution for DS, but the best one overall for everyone.

I couldn't agree more Lying