To ask how much you need to be a SAHP?

[sahpplease]

As a household income, I mean. Have NC for this just in case.

DH and I, between us, have just come to the end of shared parental leave. One DC, 8 months. I've been back at work the past couple of months and DH has been off for 10 weeks. He's absolutely loved it.

Me, I'm not cut out to be a SAHP, I know I'm not. We've jokingly suggested that he could stay at home if I got a pay rise (this is probably unlikely, unless I actively looked for another job outside my current employer).

So... If you are a SAHP, or have a partner who is, what's your situation? How hard is it? Is the financial drawback worth the payoff of having a parent at home full time?

It totally depends on costs you have. At the end of May leave we managed, just on DHs salary that was £45k at the time but we have a mahoosive mortgage and were also paying off some debt - car and sofas. We didn't have any spare money at the end of the month but weren't scrimping either, still had a holiday etc.

It depends on the lifestyle you want and what you want to do in the future. A total break from my role would be difficult to get back into and I went part time, 3 days a week for the first couple of years which I would have been unlikely to get if I wasn't with my original employer.

My DP finishes work today and will be a SAHD as I am the main earner. We have 3 months off together, which we are lucky to be able to do as my firm has a good maternity policy, and then I will go back. DD will only be 7 months, but I have always known it was coming, and I am fine about leaving her with her dad.

Our plan is that he will study for something else, as he left school at 16 and didn't get the chance to go to university. He works hard now, but nursery or a nanny would be more than he gets paid. So yes, he will very much be doing something entry level when he eventually starts work again. I think there are a few careers that you can walk back into - eg my DM was a primary school teacher and went straight back after 7 years out with me and DB - but not many. So your partner does need to be prepared for that.

rollonthesummer probably yes. He will be 50 when our children are 12, 14, 16 and 18. I plan to semi retire

Wow-good for you. You must earn a lot more than us if your DH won't ever work again and you will semi retire at 50. I can't see DH or I retiring before 68 .

It always makes me angry that a patent can't choose to stay at home these days. It should be a choice not a massive struggle.

Just think very, very carefully before giving up work - I speak from personal experience as it is NOT easy to get back into the job market.

I loved being a SAHM, we could easily afford it at the time but, circumstances change, I needed to return to work - and believe me, being in your late 50s on a NMW job is not much fun. I had a great career, good salary, company car, pension etc etc - I made a huge mistake in giving up work.

And having a degree really doesn't mean that much these days so don't assume by 'gaining a degree' it will make any difference to your job prospects.

I am unintentionally a SAHM. I did get a payout of just over 30k from my last job and our income is approx 60k per annum. We have no mortgage and live in a cheaper part of the country.

We are totally fine financially but I would not recommend giving up work completely to anyone.

I've been a sahm since having my eldest, who is nearly 13. I didn't leave a fantastic job behind or anything, and viewed raising children as my main job. Dh has gone from strength to strength in his career (my support has obviously helped!) and I am currently training to be a yoga & meditation teacher. I have no illusions that it will bring home a tonne of money, but it will give me options when all the dc are in school. (or evening classes)

We are also considering fostering, since we've wanted to do it for yonks and I'm pretty good at raising babies but don't want any more of my own! Again, it probably won't earn us lots of money since the payments go on raising the child, but I'd prefer that to a job in a shop.

I work full time as does my dh. When he was threatened by redundancy a few years ago, he reduced his time and the kids went down to 3 days a week at nursery - this helped in terms of having daddy/kiddo time which helped them bond. he then set up his own practice which accords us a lot of flexibility and I'm the main breadwinner.

I have friends who are SAHMs and who are now looking to go back to work. It's very difficult. these are women who have postgraduate degrees, had desirable job titles before they stayed at home. They are looking to return to the workforce in their 40s and with little response to their CVs.

It all depends on outgoings, surely? We have a large mortgage and though our combined income is over £80k, I earn significantly more than childcare costs, so we can't afford for me to stop working.

Just, have you considered nannying?

Hmm, no it has never occurred to me! I wonder if that would work.

I am 35 weeks pregnant at the moment and umming and aahing about whether or not I want to go back to work.

DP is on 85k and I'm on roughly 30 so he pays for most things already and we can afford to live off his salary. If I went back to work full-time, after travel and childcare, the profit from my salary would only be about £200...not worth it really IMO.

But I may still go back for other reasons....ie don't want to be out of the job market too long. Or I may go back part-time. Or I may not go back but do some volunteer work to keep my skills up.

Really depends on your individual circumstances as to how much you "need". Some of us "need" (ie: want) much more than others.

We are in Scotland but central not out in sticks.

Have. 2 Dc, 2 cars ( Kia not Mercedes!) and have a couple of budget holidays a year. Oh and mortgage on a 4 bed house. Kids are 9 and 5.5 and I'm 34, Dh is 38. I've been sahm since day born (9).

Our mortgage is small due to a property we sold so pay £180 a month and we don't have finance on the cars or furniture or anything.

Dh earns £38k and whilst we definitely struggle more than our friends in that we can't just go out and make big purchases and have to save our lives are alright money wise and it's definitely been worth us having me at home. I am studying now to retrain so will be working again soonish.

We don't have family nearby and if we did I probably would've gone back part time.

Since ds born!!!!