To want to work being a mother?

[Dorie22]

So basically my sil and my dp have a successful business together he pays himself quite a good wage and she gets paid the same if not more. Tonight she has rang my dp going mental because I work 26 hours a week and my two year old ds goes to nursery when I am at work. She is angry that I pay for the nursery fees but it leaves me with not alot of money left over so my dp pays all the bills and i put whatever money I have left into the pot for food. This is not the first time that she has said that I shouldn't be taking money from him and I should fend for myself. I feel that his whole family feel that I am not good enough for him, I am a hardworking, decent person with decent family and all my qualifications behind me, I don't want to give up work because my sil has a problem with it? I don't know what to do? X

I just can't imagine a real life scenario where this would actually ever happen. It's just plain odd that she'd a) think that, and b)' tell you! Steer clear of her, she's talking nonsense.

Me and dp have been together for 8 years, not married but have lived together for 5 years, ds is his, it didn't used to be a problem before I had ds but now she seems to hate the fact that he has a family and supports us.

If that's the case, it's none of her business. However, your DP should really protect you here, and shit her up. If she doesn't, and she continuous, given that they run a business together (hence, spending a lot of time together), she might soon poison his thoughts.

What has your DH said to this

I am confused. I have read it a couple of times.

She is angry that your wages go on nursery fees and so you don't pay any bills apart from food.

The only solution to that would be to stop working. In which case you wouldn't be putting money into the food budget. This also may have implications around not being able to get back into your career when your child is at school.

Is that she doesn't think you should be working?

Shouldn't have had a child?

Or should be working full time?

I just can't quite get my head round what she thinks the solution is. Or why she rang him at home to tell him this when she could have told him at work.

What. The. Fuck

Is this for real?

Tell your dp to tell her to fuck the fuck off - and to stick up for you!

If he doesn't he can fuck off too.

She is being a bitch. Your DH should be standing up for his family, if he is moaning to her he is an arse. Hats off to you for tolerating such sibling intimacy. It's wonderful to have a close family, but not to the point where they have a negative impact on those who 'marry in' Have you got siblings? Do you bitch to them about your DHs family? Give it a go, even better get one to call your DH up and give him an selfish rant about how he treats you.

Marry him, and make sure to tell her that in the event of divorce, you could get half his assets. She'll love that.

Yanbu clearly, but if I've understood this right and
a) you were working for them before you had your dp
b) you're still working and doing actual productive work just like you did before
c) she's suggesting you stop working because you've had a child and she basically wants the money her business is paying you for herself

If so it sounds like she's on very shaky ground legally - you can't stop employing someone because they have a child and childcare costs.