Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to restrict screen time and not believe the DC can self regulate?

66 replies

FabFlo · 30/01/2016 19:07

To limit the time dds spend in front of screens?

Dh says they should learn to self regulate and they won't be able to do that if I impose restrictions.

I want to have Wednesdays as no screen day - including TV. And also restrict the tablet to half an hour a day.

What do you do re. screens?

DC are 8 & 5

OP posts:

Pyjamaramadrama · 30/01/2016 19:43

I'm really interested to hear opinions on this.

Ds is 7 and loves the tablet and laptop. Trouble is if I leave him to it he would sit on it all day if we're not going out. He seems to get grumpy and stroppy about coming off it. He also wakes up really early to go on it.

TV he can take it or leave it.

I've ended up saying he can only have them at weekends but I'm not sure if I'm making it more appealing that way.

A certain family member also keeps making comments about how bad it is for him and it's making me worry.

RiverTam · 30/01/2016 19:44

DD is 6 and she wouldn't self regulate so I decide when to switch off. No tablets as yet and in loathe to get one because of this.

I grew up in a house where there was unrestricted access to cakes and biscuits. I never self regulated that.

Some kids are fine and some not. Kids are different shocker! I think it's pretty innate.

OSETmum · 30/01/2016 19:46

We don't limit screen time as such but do limit tv to 1 hour. The reason being that TVs is much more passive than even playing games on an iPad/ Xbox/ computer. DS (6) can self regulate when playing games but when it comes to TV he'd just gawp at the screen forever more if you'd let him! He's been really good about it though and has turned the TV/ YouTube off when his hour is up with no fuss. I've noticed he's been playing out/ reading/ playing maths games a lot more since we reduced the tv.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2016 19:49

Mine have free access and do indeed self regulate. Many a day goes by without them watching any screen at all. They're 5 &7.

Sallystyle · 30/01/2016 19:52

Dd is 8 and she is allowed 55 minutes a day of a screen

Why 55 mins and not an hour? That's like charing 99p for something instead of a pound.. annoying

The rules here are no playing while at the dinner table eating and no playing in bed for the younger ones.

starry0ne · 30/01/2016 19:57

My Ds (8) does not self regulate and can't... I let him sit in front of the Tv about a year ago..After 5 hours he was bored but wouldn't move till I told him too....

He had an X box for Christmas...That is very time restricted...TV tends to be I say enough now after a point ...

I think some kids can self regulate some can't... Those who can't need help with those boundaries.

DotForShort · 30/01/2016 19:59

Some children are very good at self-regulation (not just with screen time but with other things as well), but others really don't cope well if given unlimited freedom. In general, I think it is positive to limit screen time if children are not able to do so themselves. And of course, modeling the behaviour oneself is crucial. IMO, some adults are pretty terrible at self-regulating when it comes to screens! Yes, I'm looking at you, friend who cannot have a 10-minute conversation without constantly checking her phone.

When I was a child, one day my mother announced a ban on TV on school mornings. That rule remained in effect throughout my childhood. To this day, I find it virtually impossible to turn on the TV in the morning. I would say that instilling certain habits in children from an early age will stand them in good stead when they grow up.

MrsJayy · 30/01/2016 20:00

It's common sense really if they are starting to glaze over and zone out then you put it off

bibbitybobbityyhat · 30/01/2016 20:06

I have witnessed my nephews being told they have 10 minutes left, then 5 minutes left, then 2 minutes left and STILL being unable to put their devices down. At family occasions with grandparents present (so they know its a big deal and quite important to their parents) and they are 15 and 12. It's not helpful to gloss over the fact that screens and games are very addictive.

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2016 20:12

A no-screen day is fine if but only if it applies to the adults too.

I am sending this from DW's niece flat where I am babysitting her daughter, now 18 months; and there is no television here and never will be. The parents have IPads and the little one regularly sees her grandparents abroad on them, but that is all she sees of them. I'm intrigued because there was no TV in my home till I was ten and I go days at a time without watching it, so it will be interesting to see how she turns out. At the moment she is beyond gorgeous but then I'm biased!

Choughed · 30/01/2016 20:13

Week day screen ban in our house (DD is 8). Massive improvement in behaviour, active/creative/imaginative play, reading, homework.

And it's improved her self-regulation at the weekend as well.

witsender · 30/01/2016 20:17

How much is necessary? I mean, if mine (5 and nearly 4) are tired they will happily sit in front of the TV for a bit, the eldest will normally get bored quickly and wander off but youngest which watch for a while. They don't have access to any other devices really, the eldest has a tablet but has no interest in it and every now and then if they see me on the laptop they will ask for cbeebie games. If they do start playing games etc then yes, I will encourage limits.

Sighing · 30/01/2016 20:19

Mine are allowed a maximum of 2 hours with tele/ tablets etc (9 & 7). Anything more than that and it's going to impact on any of their hobbies; reading; homework; getting fresh air; keeping on top of chores; going to parties ... everything!!
As for "self regulate" they need to learn to prioritise. Yes, but giving them a framework and when they want to change it surely it's down to the adults to put it to them to consider. Sense of time and planning ahead isn't magically happening in the mind of a child. It needs encouragement!
("I want to do the next level on this game" "you wanted to go out for a bike ride, we need to do that when it's light", "then I can't do the level today").

Andrewofgg · 30/01/2016 20:19

And my father was blind (hence no TV) and addicted to radio; but the family had dinner together without it. And when DS was a child (now 30) we did not allow TV at dinner - nor his phone when he got one at age 14.

The no-radio rule in my childhood applied to Sunday lunch and to this day I remember it being broken on 24 January 1965 when I was twelve to listen to an extended news broadcast about the life and death of Sir Winston Churchill.

PeggyBlomquist · 30/01/2016 20:22

U2HasTheEdge.. the timer only twists up to 55! It's probably an hour by the time she has shut it all down!!

BunnyTyler · 30/01/2016 20:24

I have never done a conscious 'screen time' thing, because that just makes it a thing imo.

Mine got DSs at app 5 yrs old, games console at about 7 (around the same time as they got a tv in their room), tablet at about 9.

They are now 10 & 13 and can take it or leave it. They'd rather be out with their friends and also play rugby for a club, go to the swimming pool with their friends and the 13 yr old goes to cadets too.

I have a latest allowed time for being on the Xbox (not allowed on it for the hour before bed), but that's it.

I think they self-regulate because it was never made into a big deal and because they were exposed to many different ways to pass the time when not otherwise occupied.

Kitsandkids · 30/01/2016 20:43

When my 2 foster children (now 7 and 8) came to me I was determined not to let them spend all their time in front of screens. But then I realised that they needed me to play with them every second of every day as they didn't know how to entertain themselves, and I was utterly exhausted! So screen time crept in gradually until I realised that was all they wanted to do! which worried me a bit as I wanted them to learn how to entertain themselves in other ways.

We don't let them on our iPad or phones but they watch TV, Netflix or Sky Movies, play on the Wii or play on the PC. In September I brought in a 'no screens on school days' rule but recently I have relented and let them on on Friday nights. They are much better at finding other things to do on week days now, but at weekends when we're at home they do usually want screens. However, this is fine with me as we're out quite a bit anyway. Today, for instance, we were out from 10am to 4.30pm and I was pretty tired when we got in, so was happy to relax in front of a film with them.

bostonkremekrazy · 30/01/2016 20:47

we dont have live tv - but do have a dvd player so the children can choose to sit and watch something.
dc1 10 asks most days for a film of some sort - prob watches 4 out of 7 days.
dc2 8 can take it or leave it....he does enjoy our family film night but i suspect for the popcorn/sweeties
dc3 3 asks most afternoons when tiredness hits and lies on the sofa for 1/2 hour
dc4 is too little yet to know...but we won't encourage any tv till pre-school age.

tablets - dc1 & dc2 have tablets and can choose them or a dvd. we limit to 1 hour a day max. it was 30 minutes over the summer, but we increased over the winter when we were in the house more and they were asking more for screen time. at 8 and 10 we think they are responsible enough to know to put it down if their eyes are tired, or they have had enough. they come off as soon as we ask them to so that was a positive in increasing their 30 minutes.
in the summer we are out of the house much more and the tablets get less use.

we are happy with the way it has worked out for us.

loubielou2 · 30/01/2016 20:51

A year ago, restricted screen time (excl TV) to weekends only. Did this for a year, worked well. After new gadgets at Christmas for both DS 12yo and DD 10 yo, relaxed it to weekdays as well 6.00-6.45pm gaming is allowed, week days only if music practice and homework completed beforehand. No gadgets following day if not turned off immediately when asked. Works well and generally respected.

BrownAjah · 30/01/2016 20:55

Mine are 7, 5 & 2.

We don't have a TV so the kids use a shared iPad for telly and games. The older two are at school so get it each evening after dinner when all their toys are tidied up. This is about an hour's slot on days when they don't have a bath but they inevitably take FOREVER to tidy up so it's more typically half an hour. On weekends it totally depends what we're up to - can be lots on a quiet day or not at all if we're out. They would absolutely sit on it all day if let so regulation is needed. The 2yr old gets it when I need her to be occupied but is generally take-it-or-leave-it.

HormonalHeap · 30/01/2016 21:02

There are some mad answers on here. Your kids aren't old enough to self regulate, so you have to do it for them till they are. It's called boundaries! If you don't, you're simply making things harder for yourself and for them in the future. I learnt the hard way. My ds 15 is now properly addicted to screens because I wanted to give him 'responsibility' to self regulate- he couldn't, and it has certainly damaged his life in the form of lost social life and academic compromise.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2016 22:01

Hormonal - by 'self regulate' I don't think posters are saying their 5 year old is thinking 'Oooh I've watched 30 mins of tele, I'd better go and do something creative to better my imagination' ; but rather that they get bored of TV / find other things more interesting, so there's no need for the boundaries you talk of.

HormonalHeap · 30/01/2016 23:49

But what if they don't get bored arethereany? Still no need for boundaries?

arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2016 23:57

Rather obviously, yes, then they need boundaries. Your post suggested that it was impossible for any kids, ever, to self regulate, because your own can't. Whereas some kids can. The op was querying whether it's possible for kids to self regulate. Ergo, cue the responses from parents whose kids do.

Jw35 · 31/01/2016 00:28

Yes I do. I think too much screen time is bad for kids.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread