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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your teenagers do with their spare time? It can't just be gaming surely...

124 replies

Flamingo1980 · 29/01/2016 22:01

I know no teenagers so I've absolutely no idea what they do 'these days'. So I'm asking because I simply don't know, I'm not judging or criticising.
I ask because my collegue at work told me that her son spends up to six to eight hours EVERY DAY gaming alone in his room and apparently all of his friends do the same.
I'm genuinely shocked and a bit worried about this. What on earth does that do to a persons mind? I KNOW I must sound like an out of touch fuddy-duddy (I'm 35) but I openly admit to being completely ignorant on the subject as as I said I don't know any teenagers at all.
'In my day' my brother spent his free time either playing football with his mates or building gliders or mountain biking etc.
Don't teenagers - indeed all humans - need sunlight, social interaction, exercise and fresh air sometimes?? Could this be why so many kids now have depression, adhd etc...?
Please reassure me this isn't all teenagers as I fear for the next generation of this is true..

OP posts:
popperdoodles · 30/01/2016 19:06

Ds (16) is into mountain biking so is often tinkering with his bike or out riding. He also plays football several times a week. At home he mostly is on his phone watching you tube videos. He has just got a set of weights so spends time doing those a bit each day. We have a ps4 but tbh his brothers tend to be on it so he doesn't get much of a look in. Ds (13) is more of a gamer, likes playing mates online with the head set thingy. He too spends hrs on his phone but it much more social, goes to the park with his mates lots and does lots of different sports and activities ( football, free running, trampoline club, basketball, gymnastics). Also have a 9 yr old and as they have to share the game console none of them can spend all thir time on it.

Theimpossiblegirl · 30/01/2016 19:15

DDs age 13 and 14

Selfies
Make-up
Hair
More selfies
Drama Club
Sleepovers
Shopping
Music
Netflix
Not tidying their rooms
Hating/loving me in equal measure

They are living the teendream.

kawliga · 30/01/2016 19:55

I think I would be far more worried about a child that routinely spent twenty hours of their spare time dancing every week than one who spent twenty hours in front of a screen

Confused dancing is an actual talent, skill, and potentially professional career that takes lots of hours of practice. The way to become a dancer is to spend many hours dancing. Dancers have to learn many different styles if they take it seriously, hence racking up the hours.

Watching tv or playing computer games, that's just bumming out, unless they turn out to be people who are inventing new games - but for this you need to learn some actual skills as I don't think playing games is enough to be able to create or produce new games (there's some technical skills involved too, like...I don't know...maths?).

dementedma · 30/01/2016 20:24

kawliga there is a lot of skill in gaming, which is why Minecraft nowforms part of the curriculum in many schools for its planning and design elements. DS spent a good 20 minutes yesterday showing me how his new hi-tech Xbox controller ( birthday present). It has a multitude of switches and paddles which require amazing hand/eye coordination, and I understood next to nothing.His gaming skills have led him to create his own You Tube channel with gaming edits, and he is, as I type,helping his 25 year old sister to create a video blog of her recent inter rail trip. He's 14 and a very skilled young man. Can't dance for toffee though!

IamactuallytherealJeff · 30/01/2016 20:39

Ragwort, the attitude you are bringing them up with is that it's ok to game , non stop, kids need direction and help to try other things that are not so chemically pleasing to the developing brain and the instant reward centres. If you spend your time doing all those things, why are you not introducing those attitudes to your children and exposing them to that environment from a young age instead of purchasing video games? Or do the buy them from a young age with their own money?

Disagree completely about the dancing. The human body was made to move and the movement also AIDS healthy brain development. Right, that's my 10 mins per week on a tapping machine over!

kawliga · 30/01/2016 20:39

dementedma that does sound creative. I'd be ok with that, your son sounds brilliant.

Any activity that's not just passive is perfectly fine. People worry about 'screen time' because a lot of it is passive.

dementedma · 30/01/2016 20:46

Thanks kawliga . I'm half listening to him trying to explain to his sister about speeds and background noise and edits and haven't a clue what he's talking about! He is thinking about a career in the military in cyber security/drones etc. I have a friend who is a very senior military officer who says that the gaming skills which youngsters have are much in demand for the defence systems of the future. He talks a lot about Oculus Rift, who sounds like a Bond baddie to me, but is apparently to do with gaming ( and weapons) vision. Or so I'm told!!!Grin

Devilishpyjamas · 30/01/2016 20:52

Oh I told ds2 that he should look at being a drone pilot (he is stonkingly good at that stuff from so much practice) - he was horrified Grin (wants to be an actor darling, or failing that a primary school teacher).

As someone else said it is very sociable these days & for him & his mates the equivalent of hanging out. It doesn't bother me except when he hurries homework to get back to a game. If he's still playing a lot in year 11 I will limit around exam time.

Devilishpyjamas · 30/01/2016 20:54

Oh and he had a go at oculus rift I think - at a university enrichment day. Would that make sense? He was very excited about it & ds3 was awestruck. I had no idea what it was.

dementedma · 30/01/2016 21:02

I think it's some kind of way your eys and brain interact so that you are "in" the environment on the screen. Apparently, tank drivers have headsets and eye pieces which enable them to do this,and the young soldiers take to it quite well ( after the initial migraines) because they are used to gaming headsets and controls. My friend, who is in his 50s, tried it on exercise and threw up.Not good form for the CO to barf in front of the chaps, apparently!!!

Helmetbymidnight · 30/01/2016 21:07

Mostly gaming. (talking with mates at same time). It doesn't thrill me. I encourage him to go out but his mates don't seem to go out much.
He also plays for a footy team, loves cinema, does a paper round, learns piano.
But mostly gaming.

IamactuallytherealJeff · 30/01/2016 21:07

I find it funny how everyone is getting defensive here when the question is is it normal for teenagers to play games for 6-8 hours every day?

Of course it's not healthy. Good skills as part of a well balanced life, which includes exercise, Education and social interaction.

Devilishpyjamas · 30/01/2016 21:12

Oh god demented - that sounds like me with a Nintendo 3ds. I may have shouted 'what is that? Turn it off' (it's hideous)

briss · 30/01/2016 21:12

have a friend who is a very senior military officer who says that the gaming skills which youngsters have are much in demand for the defence systems of the future.

Playing hours and hours of lemmings and doom did precisely zero for my job prospects. Surely noone thinks otherwise?!?

Helmetbymidnight · 30/01/2016 21:28

there is no way what Ds does in his room will put him in demand for defence systems in the future Grin

If so I would really worry about future generations!

MissMogwi · 30/01/2016 21:56

DSS 16 spends lots of time gaming and making video blog things about gaming. He goes out with his mates ( probably to talk about gaming)

DD1 14 loves make up, fashion and blogs about both, music, Netflix, cinema, art, shopping, being moody, reading, face timing and texting.

DD2 is not yet 12. She likes watching stuff on you tube, art, music, writing plays, reading, guides, she still plays with her dolls sometimes which I'm glad of.

None of my brood are remotely sporty, although they do go swimming /ride bikes/mooch about with their friends outside a lot more in the summer. We do a couple of family outings a month and force them they all come with us.

I was never in as a teen in the 90's, but then again I was out getting pissed on 20/20 at 14/15 which I'd rather they didn't do. Grin

BoboChic · 30/01/2016 22:22

My DSSs, now 20 and 18, loved gaming when they were at home. I suspect they've had every possible console and game at some point Grin.

I don't think it changed them in any way. They still game a bit during their university holidays but they are starting to despise adults who game. Both the DSSs are extremely goal-oriented and the goals have moved from virtual to real life...

PushAPushPop · 30/01/2016 23:36

Dd is 16. She plays for a ladies' football team, sees her boyfriend of 3 years and goes on FakeBook!

BackforGood · 31/01/2016 01:37

Some very funny competitive posts on here

Where?
All I see is people answering the question - the OP asked what other peoples teens do.....

YeOldeTrout · 31/01/2016 09:22

Apparently, tank drivers have headsets and eye pieces which enable them to do this,and the young soldiers take to it quite well ( after the initial migraines) because they are used to gaming headsets and controls.

My DS (who can spend 10 hrs/day gaming) will love to hear that... he wants to work inside tanks!!

dementedma · 31/01/2016 10:18

trout they don't have steering wheels either apparently. . All done with joysticks and keypad thingy whatsits. If your Ds can exist unwashed in a very small, smelly space ( and let's face it, what teenage boy doesn't?) he sounds perfect for the job!

shutupandshop · 31/01/2016 10:20

Mine cheerleads, goes out with friends

Original poster
Flamingo1980 · 31/01/2016 18:46

Thanks for all your replies! Very interesting to know what's going on in the world of teenagers and good to know they aren't all glued to their gaming thingies.

Usual MN squabbles and spats but nothing too dreadful!

OP posts:
bruffin · 31/01/2016 18:56

The world of teenagers. 18 year old goes out on a friday night to "spoons" discovers for the first time that jaeger bombs and jack daniels and coke dont mix. Comes home and is sick. Saturday gets up and plays wii for a while and goes back to bed. Sunday goes to M&s with parents as wants to try new flavour starbucks, does some course work and spends the afternoon doing lego and singing along to Hamilton at the top of her voice

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