to let this happen?

[GNRmama]

Relatively new to MN so I hope this is in the right place. Basically, my 5 year old comes into my bed every night and I'm not really doing anything about it. My parents are telling me I need to put a stop to it. AIBU to just nod and smile but ignore them?

Split with the kids' father last June and he was still sleeping fine. In October we moved into a new flat as I couldn't afford to run the house anymore and this started. He falls asleep in his own bed, I'm pretty insistent about that but some time in the night, he comes through to mine. Tbh, I don't even always wake up because he does just get in and go straight back to sleep. He doesn't do this anywhere else and stays in bed all night at his dad's and grandparents. Is this a sign of something?

I actually enjoy the closeness with him, he won't want to do it forever (I hope!)

My 3 yr old ds has slept with us for part of the night all of his life. Both sets of grandparents didn't like it, not sure why!
We just don't tell them now!
Ds feels safe, we all sleep well, no one cries. I'm enjoying every cuddle as I know it won't last forever.
Your little boy feels safe with you. Ignore parents and do what feels right for your boy

I crept into my mum's bed every night until I was about 10. I wasn't aware ago was doing it, and didn't disturb her. I slept fine by myself at Dad's or Grandma's. When my stepdad came on the scene I couldn't do it any more, so I stopped, no drama.

I think it's ok until his emotional upheaval settles a bit, but would sound a note of caution. My friend had this situation when she split from her husband and her DS is still co-sleeping with her at the age of 13. He doesn't do it with his father and he is able to sleep alone when at a friend's or away, but when he is at home, no. They've had therapy but he just won't stop. It is completely inappropriate and she is at her wits end.

He will grow out of it eventually, so if it isn't bothering you I'd carry on.

I'm very close with my DD and last time my OH went away she slept with me. This was only last year and she was 17 YO!
Only down side is I have to wear PJs, which I hate doing.

The important point is that it is his choice. How lovely. I have a ds (10)who cosleeps with us too and he is very well balanced, bright and sociable and as far as we are concerned, ds will choose not to when he's ready. When he goes on holiday or has sleepovers he sleeps fine on his own.

My eldest wound do this whenever his dad was away.. (Again starting in his own room.) Was lovely tbh. Not done it for the last year or so. (Now 12 yo.)

Same situation here. Mine comes in 2-3 times a week and to be honest, I love it. It's his need for safety during the night and it won't last forever.
They grow up so fast it makes your head spin and as everyone else has said, pretty soon he'll be a teen and won't leave his own bed for love nor money so relax and enjoy it.
Grandparents were reared differently in most cases, Co sleeping wasn't encouraged. Things have changed, if you feel comfortable and your son feels comfortable, carry on.

My kids all co slept from time to time. Very occasionally DD (14) will creep in even now if DH is on nights . My 7 year old has been ill all week and will only sleep wherever I am - be it on the sofa or in my bed. It's a security thing and they do grow out of it. 17 year old DS1 hasn't done it since he went to high school although he still will lie beside me on my bed and chat nonsense with me.

My DTs have been coming in to us at about midnight for probably four months now. I quite like it and mostly it's fine when DH works nights, but when he's home it's the two of us and two quite tall four year olds in a queen size bed

Despite that we all still get a better nights sleep than if we were trying to get them back in their beds half a dozen times a night.

If it's causing tension with your parents just don't tell them. It's your flat, they don't need to know

My 5 yr old comes into our bed most nights and she hasn't bad the recent upset your son has. And it doesn't really bother us! When the 3.5 yr old comes in too it is a bit of a crowd but hey ho.

ds2 used to bed hop, I think he just woke up and was bored or cold or something

Some mornings over breakfast it would come to light he had been in with everyone (me, ds1, dd) ...like a little nightcreeper!

Rules were NOT to wake anyone, no fidgeting, no nonsense and go back to your own room if you want to play.

He got into bed with me once, and I was horribly feverish from a vile vile cold/chest infection....he crawled in, said "yuk, you are all sweaty" and promptly left.

I really don't know when he stopped doing it, but he definitely grew out of it. :o