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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to carry on with my son and let her carry on with hers

51 replies

Tamponlady · 28/01/2016 19:48

Was at play group today and was talking to another mum about our respective year 11 kids

I was talking about how much it's cost me for a suit so did could attend various interviews at collages and apperterships ect

She then said to me I wouldn't bother if I were you I am sending mine in jeans Shock

I not sure what school her child attends but my son have had it drummed into them that it's not just about your grades it's about how you preset at the interviews and espically the aperntership interviews

They also have been told they will look at attendance and behaviour and outside interests

And they have been told if all things being equal grades that it if they only thing that sets you apart is how well turned out you are then that can't be a bad thing and it may give you the edge he's wanting to do engineering and it's very competitive

And to be honest even if ds hadn't been told this by the school I would want him to be smart and show to the interviewers that he takes his education seriously

Not sure if they would think that if you turned up in jeans and Air Force ones

I didn't even bother to argue

Aibu

OP posts:
228agreenend · 28/01/2016 20:14

My son went to a six form interview in his school uniform yesterday.

Hihohoho1 · 28/01/2016 20:16

Yes let her carry on with her son and you carry on with yours.

That's pretty much how it goes.

Original poster
Tamponlady · 28/01/2016 20:17

poster 228agreenend Thu 28-Jan-16 20:14:05

Can I ask how big your son is

My son is massive and his uniform is ill fitting so thought it best for some smart clothing that fitted propley

OP posts:
JenEric · 28/01/2016 20:17

My brother got a sought after placement and they specifically mentioned being impressed he wore a suit when others were in jeans. They told him they felt he took it more seriously as he was well dressed and well prepped.

Sparklingbrook · 28/01/2016 20:20

I have a DS in 6th form and they have to dress smartly in formal wear. so nothing like the picture. I don't think that's smart at all.

LadyPriggsbottom · 28/01/2016 20:32

I'm confused now I've seen the pictures OP... That isn't a suit / very smart and some of them are wearing jeans which is what you disagreed with this other m over wasn't it..? Confused

It would be fine for an interview - as would a smart but cheap pair of trousers and a shirt and tie without the jacket or school uniform (though you said your DS doesn't fit well in his so that's out I guess). I don't know much about college interviews but used to work in recruitment - trousers, shirt and tie was fine by me for entry level roles. If it's too cold for shirt and coat, a smartish v-neck sweater would be fine by me too. Not everyone has a 'proper' suit and they really are pricey. It's hard to know what you meant in your OP though as the pics don't look how I expected.

SparklesandBangs · 28/01/2016 20:33

None of your pictures would be allowed in any of the school sixth forms in our area, college yes but that's more jeans and hoodies.
Both DD went to their interviews in their school uniform, anything else here would be considered strange, teachers of Y11 boys expect them to have out grown their uniform if it is clean and tidy, with polished shoes they will be happy.
I'm not sure about apprenticeship interviews however in my previous role I recruited people for their first jobs/trainee roles, for manual work I would expect smart trousers and a collared plain shirt and proper shoes, for office work this would suffice but a jacket would be a bonus. I also recruited creatives and their I was looking for individuality and flair. Appearance is important as first impressions count but what your DS says and how he answers questions would be much more important to me, I would be looking for a genuine interest in the role, enthusiasm, some research into the company/sector and some good questions.

LadyPriggsbottom · 28/01/2016 20:35

"It would be fine for an interview"

A suit I mean.

Sunnyshores · 28/01/2016 20:40

I think your school is lilkely to know whats best for the specific interviews he's got - speak to them again.

Original poster
Tamponlady · 28/01/2016 20:41

Thanks

not the guys wearing jeans

OP posts:
Redfox · 28/01/2016 20:43

I have had plenty of experience of interviewing students for college courses. I would advise your son to wear what he is comfortable in. Clean shirt & jeans maybe? (personally I think a suit may possibly be over the top but whatever)

But the main things I would recommend is for young person to be clean-ish, not to chew gum through the process, try and make some eye contact if possible (hard for some I know) and maybe check there is no food around mouth/hanging off teeth. And be prepared to try and answer some questions.

But most importantly turn off their phone and put it away till the interview is finished And I would say that applies for the accompanying parents too.

shazzarooney99 · 28/01/2016 20:47

A suit for college interveiws? im afraid your setting your teen up to be a laughing stock. sad but true x

Original poster
Tamponlady · 28/01/2016 20:48

Thanks eveyone for the tips

I guess what comes out of this eveyone has Diffrent ideas personally I feel that you might not get marked down for wearing jeans but I rather not take the risk as I don't think you will be penalised for looking smart

OP posts:
smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/01/2016 20:59

I have interviewed school leavers for college. Jeans are fine and the odd one that turned up in a suit usually looked pretty uncomfortable in their skin. Varies a little depending on what they're interviewing for, you might expect to see more suits for business, but for most vocational stuff you see school uniforms and normal casual clothes mainly.

We would never judge a candidate by their clothes unless they were offensive logos or dirty. As you demonstrate, a suit tells you more about the candidate's parents than the candidates themselves. Great! they have a parent who supports them by getting them a suit for their interviews, yes that's good, but that won't make them a better student than the one who bussed themselves there with noone prepping them

UmbongoUnchained · 28/01/2016 21:13

I went to my college interview straight after an art exam so was wearing overalls covered in paint and had had a falling out with my mum in the car so was all blotchy from crying. I got an unconditional offer on the international baccalaureate. Nobody in the waiting room was wearing a suit so I don't think it matters.

BoffinMum · 28/01/2016 21:18

I dress mine up for things because I want then to learn to be presentable, but TBH the only kids in suits at university interviews tend to be kids from homes that aren't very well off. The richer they are, the scruffier they are.

tinofbiscuits · 28/01/2016 21:21

And they have been told if all things being equal grades that it if they only thing that sets you apart is how well turned out you are

I'm not convinced by that. There are so many other factors at interview. Subject knowledge, ability, potential, personality traits, enthusiasm and a genuine interest in the position/place.

shazzarooney99 · 28/01/2016 21:27

I smell a red herring. i could be wrong though!

smellysocksandchickenpox · 28/01/2016 21:29

Here's a secret from my limited experience of interviewing 16yr olds for college courses.

We weren't looking for the cream of the crop. We were mainly checking that the kids were where they wanted to be: that they knew what the course was about.. that they WANTED to do that course.. and in a lot of cases we'ld speak to students and it would transpire that they were applying for the wrong course for them so we'ld talk through the other courses that might suit them better and help them get on the interview list for that one instead so that they were happy wherever they ended up.

It's an offensive move against future drop out rates. The interviewers want to know they want to be there. And some times the scruffy ones who dragged themselves there on the way home from a long shift in a chip shop were the ones who wanted it most. And sometimes the ones dressed up and prepped didn't really seem to want to be there. (And sometimes the smartly dressed ones were BRIMMING with excitment and had already read the course prospectice back to front, point is, the clothes don't matter).

The college just don't want a load of students on their course in September who don't really want to be there and should have been sign posted else where. That's what the interviews are mainly for.

RC1234 · 28/01/2016 21:42

I sit on interviews for apprenticeships and yes I would appreciate the effort made to turn up in a suit. No-one has ever turned up in their school uniform. A shirt and a smart pair of trousers and shoes would be sufficient (no jacket required) - maybe a tie, but not a school tie. I have never had anyone turn up in blue jeans and trainers - it is smart casual at the very least.

However - it is how you answer the questions that actually counts and the enthusiasm that he displays for engineering. Body language also speaks for a lot - so good eye contact, smile and sit up straight. The key predictable questions need to be researched and answered well..

  • what do you know about this company (check the website and history of company)
  • why do you want this job (convey passion for engineering in this case)
  • where do you see your career headed (stay with company and progress - ask about progression).
Notso · 28/01/2016 21:44

I don't think the men in those pictures look like they are going to work or a job interview at all. They look like my Dad going for a casual lunch!

Dad's school did a mock interview type thing that specified smart appearance but also made it clear parents didn't need to spend a fortune.
College interviews were pretty much straight after school so DD wore uniform for most and jeans and a top for the visits.

BackforGood · 28/01/2016 21:58

A suit is OTT for a college interview,

however it's not unreasonable at 15/16 to have a suit as he'll probably wear it for prom, the odd funeral or wedding, and then many 6th forms do require suits anyway.

However, I don't see the issue. You were complaining about how much the suit cost you, and she was pointing out he didn't need a suit for the purpose you were buying it. No-one was being unreasonable, just a different choice.

tinofbiscuits · 28/01/2016 22:22

She then said to me I wouldn't bother if I were you I am sending mine in jeans

She may be right that a suit isn't necessary, but it was tactless of her to say so when you'd already bought it.

RavioliOnToast · 28/01/2016 22:29

What's an aperntership ? I also think suit is ott.

DonkeyOaty · 28/01/2016 22:40

Oh god my eldest is off to sixth form interviews soon. School uniform then.