To warn you all about the dangers of Foxgloves?

[Outfoxgloved]

Yes. I am unreasonable for sticking this in AIBU. Yes I'm fully aware that it's not at all unreasonable to warn someone about something dangerous.

Yes I'm also aware this post outs me, and so that's why I've name changed.

I'm hoping it's not against the rules to share a blog here? If it is, feel free to delete :) I shall take it like a woman.

Some of you may know the other me on here (since you know the story) please don't out me!

The story of what happened to DD2 last year

A very moving piece, I'm so glad it had a happy ending for all of you.

I do know they're poisonous but I'm hopeless at recognising plants so I will try to refresh my memory a bit, my children spend a lot of time outdoors.

This is where I have to admit that I'd only recently realised the many leaves in the field were Foxgloves I'd just not made the connection between them and the flowers.

So it's definitely not ignorance.

Bicycle I just felt it was doing everyone a disservice. It's horribly hard. One thing I really felt was that whilst my dd was receiving amazing care, I couldn't see how I could continue that level of fear and tension for a long period of time. It would break me, and other than nurses offering a smile and a kind word (which meant the world), there was no support.

Doing that for weeks, months, years (as many of the parents we met were doing)... I don't know how a person keeps going. It's an amazing feat. It's borne of love and nothing else. Just incredible.

Outfoxgloved your story brought me to tears but so happy that your DD recovered.
I always knew that Foxgloves were poisoness but didn't realise that they could be potentially fatal.

Brilliant post and I'm so glad your little one is well now.

I work at a children and family centre and we have a home safety week early every summer - I will definitely tuck this thread (with *Didactylos' helpful list) away for reference and suggest we make a display about toxic plants.

I think it's something we may have paid lip service to in the past as a huge number of our families don't have gardens. Although I have a garden and grew up around fields and woodland I had no idea foxgloves could grow in hedgerows.

Thank you .

*poisonous

Wow, so pleased she is OK. I don't know what they look like, or that they were poisonous, but will check now. Thank you.

how terrifying. How lucky she is ok!!

I do think it is common knowledge that foxgloves are one of the most poisonous plants in the UK though. So important to teach children not to pick wild plants and berries that they dont know

Unfortunately it seems like lots of people don't know.

None of my other dcs ever took an interest in eating anything in the garden. Dd2 on the other hand puts everything in her mouth. As soon as she's old enough to understand, I will educate her. Education is the best thing.

I don't want people to think we need to go to war on foxgloves either. I have hundreds in the field. I won't be getting rid of them. I will however be taking them out of the garden. They've never been there before, but recently seeded from the field. It'll just be part of my routine to take them out as they appear.

Then one day I won't have to deal with toddlers, and I can enjoy them again :)

They're pollinated by bumble bees, which I love too.

It's being aware, being respectful, and knowing what to do if something were to happen.

I'm so glad your DD is ok. You write brilliantly and it's great.

But I don't understand posts saying 'it's not ignorance'. Of course, if you don't know something, it's ignorance! There's nothing awful about that and if we keep reinforcing this idea that ignorance is something to be ashamed of, people will stay ignorant because they won't like to admit to it (or won't like to think of themselves as 'ignorant people').

Everyone is ignorant in some areas.

I am lucky because I grew up in the countryside with a mum who was keen on gardening, so I do know my poisonous plants and how to recognise them. OTOH I know full well there are other things I am ignorant about - when my niece was born I read up on symptoms of things like meningitis in children, because I knew I was ignorant about it and I needed to figure it out.

Please can we stop acting as if ignorance is something shameful that only people who're bad parents/terrible people display?

i think its the terminology, Jeanne. There's nothing wrong with not knowing something that you've never been told. Of course there isn't. Also assuming that "poisonous" means an upset stomach, when nobody has explained the real symptoms.

I think there's also an expectation with H&S that everyone knows the dangers, and therefore they must be wilfully ignoring them if something goes wrong.

That's why I shared. So that people will know :)

And hopefully it will be the most useless, unnecessary, pointless information that you've ever learned. That's the ideal.

Sorry, went off in a bit of a tangent there. The terminology thing is they ignorant has developed into an insulting word for a person. So it's better using a less emotive term in case of being misunderstood. It's meaning isn't purely what it once was.

That's kind of my point, though.

Reinforcing the idea that 'ignorant' is a slur is part of the problem, IMO.

It seems to have completely changed its meaning and is now a part of modern vernacular.

I'd love to fight the tide, but I don't think I'm up to that battle!

to be fair on plants in our climes:

• only very few are potentially deadly (foxglove is one)
• most taste horrendous
• most are emetic (make you vomit)

you have to watch toddlers like a hawk. and even older children especially if in the 'witches brew' stage.

NO PICKING NO LICKING is our mantra, unless adults give the ok (bramble picking...) and everyone is sure what to pick.

I grew up in the countryside and didn't know this . DD is older and have never been one to put things in her mouth, but I didn't think of her collecting them for a 'potion' or bouquet. DS is definitely an eater of things, so we'll be sure to keep him close and drum in a no eating mantra.

Will definitely get the wild flowers book out and do some learning ourselves too.

So pleased Esme is better.

Ive shared this on my FB page as i had no idea these were poisonous and i bt there are a few others who don't know this either.

Thank you for telling Esme's story and getting the word out. I am so glad she is better x

It's a good mantra :)

Purple, I hadn't considered the potion thing either... In fact, knowing that they were deadly poisonous as a child, I'm almost certain I made potions with them!

Thanks Rosie :)

So glad your daughter is better OP, and the fact you're able to put together such a beautifully written account of it is amazing.

I just wanted to say, go easy on yourself if you find the episode casts a longer shadow than you'd like. As you say, it's hard to be the optimistic parent you'd like to be when you are also worrying about very real risks, and have some experience of when things go wrong. Managing what you know to be real (if remote) dangers while making your kids feel safe to explore the world is so very hard.

Our one year old DD had a sudden trip to intensive care last year, and while she made a total recovery I found it left me rattled for a long time. Irritability with DH, over reactions to small stresses (especially around her health), trouble handling the memories - it all seemed to peak a few months later once she was fine. I later found there's research showing that It's very common for parents of children who go to ICU to display PTSD symptoms afterwards. Interestingly, it's especially likely if the admission was for something unexpected, and if you feared your child might die (regardless of how close they actually came). Like you, I'm in awe of parents who cope with multiple admissions and long running illnesses, and that undoubtedly takes a different kind of toll. I'm just saying don't underestimate how a one-off can take some time to recover from too. It's normal, and it does pass. Hope you are doing ok, and thanks again for a beautiful blog.

I don't live in Aberystwyth any more, but I go cold all over at the thought of them trying to close Bronglais!

Thank goodness for your knowledge, your daughter's observation skills, and the NHS.

Thank you, Tiny

I'm glad your dd recovered too.

That's interesting what you say about PTSD. It certainly fits. It's such a huge jolt in your life. There you are, trundling away in normality, and then this enormous thing happens, lasts only a relatively short time, and then you're expected to get back to trundling.

I do have to say that my wonderful Health Visitor has been brilliant too. She called me as soon as she'd heard we were in hospital (admittedly this was a few days in), and offered support and to see if we needed any additional help.

She called again when we got home, to see how things were going, and kept in touch for longer.

A good health visitor is worth their weight in gold.

Wornout, anyone who knows the area knows how far we would be from another A&E. It's a scary thought. Fingers crossed it never comes to that.

It's a necessity.

Have shared on FB too. Hope your family heals from this event soon x

Thanks misdee, we had a lovely quiet Christmas together, which was probably just what the doctor ordered :)

Dh and I have decided to take turns getting emotional.

If anyone's on Twitter and would like to share it, that would be great too.

I know nothing about Twitter. I made myself an account yesterday and then realised I'm incompetent definitely ignorant on the Twitter front :o