To ask how you deal with difficult people in life?

[awkwardas78]

I just seem to find myself stewing quite a lot over the rudeness, selfishness, arrogance and thoughtlessness of certain people in my life. I'm not perfect by any means but I do at least try to be polite to people, think of their needs and not brag about every little thing that goes right for me. It frustrates me when other people get away with the most dreadful behaviour because others tolerate it or just don't seem to see it.

How are you supposed to deal with the people in your life who regularly annoy you or wind you up? There must be some way of letting it roll off you but I can't seem to do it!! Does anyone have a mental technique of switching off from it or something you say to yourself to stop it from bothering you?

I could have written your post too. I feel this way about my siblings. Many people pass comment about how different we all are, so I know it is not just me. Very hard to deal with though.

I had a career where I would have to deal with the public. It was a career where I provided specialist assistance but despite this people always thought they knew better than me. I often came across a particular personality type which I find very difficult to deal with. No matter what I did I could never satisfy them.

Pounding solution is how I dealt with it, although ultimately I left my career partly because of reaching the end of my tether with these people.

I consider a person to be an adult when they behave in a way that adult should, responsibly , calm, sensible, thoughtful, logically, diligent...

Anyone who behaves in way that needs addressing gets treated exactly the way the other group of people who need constant monitoring and instruction. that is children.

If someone is behaving like a child treat them as a child, give them calm instruction until they address their behaviour, use the same looks,voice you would on a tiresome child.

Agree with the you can't control other people but you can control your reaction people.
My husband has really helped with this in my life. Everytime I tell him how awful someone is or what a rude thing they've done or how they've acted he just looks at me in confusion and says "why do you care?" And I start to wonder why do I care, I care far too much and far too long over people who aren't giving me a second thought - so why am I wasting my energy? Also I know that if I ever do say anything to them I always end up worse off and apologising for nothing. I'm getting better at rolling my eyes, shrugging my shoulders and moving on.

By having a very small (and I mean small!) circle of friends & not bothering with people who bother me & make my life difficult.
Life's too short.But I don't think it would suit everyone.

I also agree with PitPatKitKat - I like to focus on behaving in a way that I feel is good/kind/fair myself and hope that attracts like minded people. In general, I have a good circle of friends and that makes me happy. Chickensaresafehere makes a great point too - I've been much happier since I realised I don't need everyone to love me and I don't need to chase being uber social and uber loved. I just plug away quietly doing my own thing.

My work means a lot of people talk to me really badly. I've had training in how to stay calm, reduce conflict etc. The main thing for me is to remember that there is a reason why they are being like that and to comfort myself that I'm not.

hanging I can relate to that! Why do I care? I shouldn't, they don't give a shit about me so I'm not sure why I give them headspace. I think it's because I feel aggrieved.

Whatever bait they throw at you, don't rise to it.

Change the subject if possible

Limit face-to-face/verbal contact

If it's someone close, have a look at Transactional Analysis.

I had this about a year ago to help cope with my mum (much loved but very opinionated, anxious & generally high maintenance) - was really helpful, and I only struggle now when I'm already feeling a bit up against it for other reasons.

Hello AlmaMartyr,

Case in point!

Hi PitPat!