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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask about subsidised driving lessons?

36 replies

BloodyEnderDragons · 23/01/2016 16:26

Rural living isn't easy if people don't drive. My friend has found herself in a situation with no partner (a recent development), children to get here there and everywhere, a baby on the way and no transport. There are busses three days a week into town - one out, one back on each day so no flexibility in times.

She has no shop within 5 miles, nor a park for the children, post office, nothing at all really. Her partner did drive so it wasn't a huge issue.

She will no doubt be on income support as well as the usual tax credits etc.

As I'm (thankfully) rather clueless about benefits and low income, I'm asking here. Is there any way she could be able to ask for subsidised driving lessons via some kind of scheme? She has experienced PND in the past and really needs the ability to get out by herself.

Moving house is an option, but one that hasn't been able to happen yet.

OP posts:
IamactuallytherealJeff · 23/01/2016 18:16

Otherwise gradually learn to drive, a driving lesson every other week out of the family budget? Easily done while on the benefits.
However, I co On my way! tell agree with other posters that the driving lessons are not the issue at all!!! Running a car is a luxury.

IamactuallytherealJeff · 23/01/2016 18:17

And if you're good enough to insure her on your car, surely you're good enough to give her lifts Wink

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 23/01/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hefzi · 23/01/2016 18:25

decisions you'd be shocked, then, by the state of most semi-rural bus routes, never mind the truly bus routes! I grew up in a village the same size as OP's friend, five miles from the nearest shop, post-office etc - which where in the next village.

In those heady 70s days, there were two buses a day to one of the nearest towns, one in the morning and one in the afternoon (you'd be stuck if you just wanted not to have to walk to the shops, as there was a general store, a couple of corner shops and a green grocer, but nothing to fill the time waiting to go back) but this was soon cut to one a day. Since the 90s, that's been none a day. The bottom line is, there's not enough demand - not helped by the fact that buses don't run often enough in the first place, so people who need to work etc buy cars - and it's not economic. When surveyed, the villagers all said they wanted the bus service to remain - but no-one actually used the buses to ensure it did so (and why would you, when they were so inconvenient?).

A school bus comes and picks children up for secondary schools, in the town about 12 miles away, but that's not quite the same thing.

In the village now, there are no actual council houses, as those were all sold off, and anyone who rents anywhere would not be able to do so because of the caps on LHA and the high rents in the area. There's one tied cottage still, but as the estate it belongs to broke the tie a while ago on the other side, that will probably happen now the cottage on the other side has become vacant - and why wouldn't they? It has a market value of half a millionish, give or take, and the farm it belongs to is now no longer a working one.

Meanwhile, people in the village moan about having to pay a premium for cleaners, gardeners, baby-sitters etc, because there is no longer the diverse population base in the village that there was even in the 70s, but don't realise that they have helped create this situation through their desire to relocate somewhere more fashionable and "rural". The situation is even more down in the valley, because the postcode changes there and is a far more "desirable" one as it starts with different first letters Hmm

The situation for the rural poor is often far, far worse than it is for the urban poor, which is dire enough. I was absolutely shocked at the poverty in rural Somerset when I worked there a few years ago, which was at a much deeper and greater level than I had ever seen in the most deprived areas of the urban North East.

Those saying the lady in the OP has to move are correct - and I am sure she knows this. But since she's recently become a lone parent, it won't be straightforward -in addition to the moving costs and the deposit, she will have to cope with LL who won't accept people on Housing Benefit. I was looking for a rental about 6 years ago, and over a period of 6 months, nothing in the three nearest towns in the area (two of which have serious pretensions, admittedly, but one of which is a rank pit) had anything advertised where the LL would accept anyone on DSS. Sad but true - if you're in commuterville, you can wait a long time before being able to find a home to move to: LL prefer someone with a job, and there's no shortage of those in areas close to, for example, London, Reading, Birmingham, Bracknell, Slough etc

VimFuego101 · 23/01/2016 18:26

I agree with others that if she can't afford lessons, she can't afford a car. And if she can't afford a car then it sounds like life will be very difficult for her living in such a remote area tbh. Could you let her learn to drive in your car and/or help her with her finances to see what her options are?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 23/01/2016 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose · 23/01/2016 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feckitall · 23/01/2016 18:43

I too have lived in such a village...1988 to 1996...2 buses a week that went into town to the market for 2 hours...or a 5 mile walk to next biggest village that was on the main route route for twice daily buses..
We were cut off from electricity every storm over a week in 1989 and the road through the village flooded frequently, we were up a slope so the house didn't flood. Snow meant no way out the village.

We were on benefits after DH was made redundant and the 'DHSS' at the time advised against most jobs as they didnt pay enough to run a vehicle daily to commute.
I learnt to drive and we bought an old banger you had to lift your feet if you went through deep puddles! but used it wisely.

We always maintained that there should have been an allowance if you were allocated a house in a rural area ,(you had to take what you were given, no bidding for houses), without any employment locally available. Rural poverty and isolation causes all sorts of social issues severe depression for me

Eventually we persuaded the council to rehouse us in town. It was a beautiful place to live in but we couldn't afford to stay.

AlmaMartyr · 23/01/2016 18:48

Lots of villages like that around here (West country). Rural isolation and poverty are very real :( I don't know of any schemes that would definitely help but there are various transport charities around here so it might be worth your friend looking into that - speaking to a local library, or a parish clerk can be a good way of getting information.

EdithWeston · 23/01/2016 18:51

ILs live in a village which is about 3x larger than the one you're describing, and they have 2 outward and 2 inward buses five days a week. And they are not brilliantly timed for actually getting stuff done at destination.

So I sympathise, but cannot think of a good solution.

Is there anyone who would drive her when necessary in return for (rounded up) petrol money? Do long distance taxis exist at all? Because even if expensive, they might get her to the nearest market town may be much better connected.

As they were planning to move, I'm assuming she is prepared to leave the village. Can she restart those plans and get a new place that will really suit her and her growing family?

BloodyEnderDragons · 23/01/2016 18:53

Thank you so so much for the replies from those who also understand how it can be, I can't reply properly right now but will try to be back later on.

Isolation is absolutely dreadful.

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