To wish I had never set up an account for my godchild

[Spudauphinoise]

My lovely godchild is 7 and when she was born I looked for a lovely present to give her, ran out of time eventually after finding nothing that I thought would suit...so I set up a little bank account for her. I put £10 in every month. I told her mum who is my best friend that I was setting it up.

Now seven years later I have three dcs and my best friend is godmother to one. She gave him a beautiful gift for christening present. It was only then I started worrying - what happens when dgd gets her cash? I don't want her mum to be offended or to feel she needs to give something to my ds. It will be a lot of money, and I am less pressured money wise than my friend. I am really feeling like i have screwed up and created a potential problem for the future.

So any thoughts on what i might do? It crossed my mind to say it to her but she is the sweetest kindest person you could meet and i am worried she might feel obliged to give my dc something. She is my most important friend and i would never want anything to come between us. Thank you

That's a good idea.

spud I'd give your God daughter the bank account now but make sure her mum has control over it.

savoy I predict carnage when those first CTF's are given to 18yo's. Even the ones with the minimum of £250 will buy a lot of pints.

I think that if you can, you should carry on doing it until she is 18. Here's why. One of my DC's was lucky enough to have a godmother who did exactly that, and when she turned 18 there was a lovely sum of money waiting for her - she used it to buy stuff for her university room and so on - it made a huge difference to her, even though we are well off and she could have come to us for help. She really liked the first taste of financial independence it gave her. Our other DC's were impressed, but accepting and certainly not envious. Over the years they have got used to a very wide range of god parent and family involvement and tend to take each as it comes. I think you have doe a wonderful thing for your goddaughter and you certainly shouldn't stop just because of the worries you have articulated above. Just my opinion!

savoy I predict carnage when those first CTF's are given to 18yo's. Even the ones with the minimum of £250 will buy a lot of pints.

no, the charges have eaten the fund away
what a waste of govt money
grrr

It's a very, very generous gift and i imagine it's far in excess of a typical god mothers gift. I think it might be awkward for your DHD parents and for you but it really depends on your personalities. Will you be at all put out if she gives a more normal gift to your child? (Honestly now ).

Did you tell your friend how much you were paying a month?

£10 a month for 18 years is just over £2k. I don't think that is obscene for a godmother to give her godchild after saving for that long, and I can't imagine why anyone would get upset with that. Do you give her other gifts as well? It's not like you'll suddenly be presenting her with half a mil...