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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to look a bit like an "idiot American" by asking

78 replies

Proginoskes · 21/01/2016 15:39

...at what age do your DC go by themselves to school (assuming school is in walking distance)? I see so many 'school run' threads and it seems like up to a certain age they're escorted to the gate and...handed off to a teacher/minder? Or just let to go in the gate, but escorted by Mum/Dad/minder the whole way? I know that in a lot of cases they have to be taken by car because of overcrowded schools, but if the school is walking distance, what then?

Where I live (which is a smallish rural town with a hospital and a university being its biggest employers), only the kindergarteners (Reception?) and first graders really are walked right up to the school. Mostly the kids walk in groups - for some of the littles there is a "walking school bus" which is one adult with five or six littles on a particular route. But my DC and all their friends, except in freezing/snowy/icy/very hot weather, have been leaving the house and getting on to school since third grade, which is 7-8 years old. Granted, the way the K-5 schools are set up, no one lives more than a mile from one if that.

OP posts:

DancingDuck · 21/01/2016 17:08

OP, we are way too protective here. Our DC are allowed by the school to arrive and leave without an adult from the second term of Yr 6 - so that's age 10-11. by then they were going into town on the bus alone, hanging out cafes and shopping centres alone but still wanted us to take them to school because that was the norm.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 21/01/2016 17:11

DD has started asking to walk to school on her own - she is 5. I might let her next academic year when she doesn't need to be handed over to a parent (I don't think).

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 21/01/2016 17:13

Interesting because I get the impression the US is way more hot on the issue of unattended children and child safety than the UK. For example children being picked up by CPS for being in a park alone when the parents had judged it as being safe (at around 9 years).

I think I'd be tempted to replace "hot" with "paranoid" or "overprotective"...

NotAQueef · 21/01/2016 17:13

19lottie82 pretty sure the poster is from the U.S.

sootica · 21/01/2016 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 21/01/2016 17:26

Round here (UK, suburbia) it is Y5 for quite a lot of boys but Y6 or Y7 for girls. Next year ds2 (then Y4) will be walking with his older brother.

coffeeisnectar · 21/01/2016 17:33

Dd started this year, she was 9, now 10.

SparklyTinselTits · 21/01/2016 17:36

we lived on the same street as my primary school in the uk, and I walked with a friend from the age of about 6. My primary school in Poland was about 10 minutes walk away, and I walked with a group of friends from the age of 7/8

lottiegarbanzo · 21/01/2016 17:44

This is something that has changed totally since my 1980s English childhood. I was taken to infant school but walked to and from junior school (age 7-11). There was one main road, with a lollipop person. I had been taught to cross the two smaller (but not that small) roads safely myself. We always walked in little groups, or with a friend though.

There was no 'handover' you just left. Well, maybe the school knew who walked and who was collected. Anyway, I walked to different childminders on different days. They had children coming to them from different schools, no way would they have collected us all.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/01/2016 17:45

So I am agog and feel like quite an alien, reading of current British practice!

SenecaFalls · 21/01/2016 17:59

Interesting. Most American children who are taken to school by parents are driven. They are dropped off, head into the school, and then the parents drive off.

tinyterrors · 21/01/2016 18:26

At our school you have to wait with them in the playground into the morning until they start year (so 9/10 years old) and they're handed over to a parent or named adult until the second term of year 4 when most are 9. Year 5 and 6 have their own playground so there's no leeway on waiting in the playground on a morning until then.

My eldest is 8 and tbh I'd probably trust her to walk the half mile, one main road with a manned crossing, to school next year but school don't allow it.

My eldest dcs will likely walk with me or slightly ahead most of the way to school (about half way it splits so there's two ways to go) until they go to secondary as I'll be taking younger siblings.

JenEric · 22/01/2016 13:41

Mine won't walk whilst we live here as its a 30 min walk with 2 major roads.

iMogster · 22/01/2016 13:43

At my son's Primary school, the children have to be walked by an adult until they reach year 6. I see year 6 children being walked part way or walking with a school mate.
I'm not sure what I will do. When my son is in year 6, I will have to walk my youngest there anyway.

AnnPerkins · 22/01/2016 13:47

At DS's village lower school (YR to Y4) only the Y4 children are allowed to walk to and from school without an adult, and only in the summer term.

From Y5 onwards they're on their own, taking school buses to middle schools in different towns in the county.

pettyprudence · 22/01/2016 13:49

My ds is only in reception but I was hoping he could walk on his own by about age 7/8 - the school is literally at the end of our street but there is one biggish road to cross (busier than I would like but not a main road by any means). Unfortunately the school is moving to a site where he will never be able to walk unattended.

The school has the parents drop the kids off through the main gate and the children go through a second set of gates, manned by a teacher, into the playground and then you are free to go. At afternoon pick up you go to outside the class door and children are only released to known guardians.

PizzaConnoisseur · 22/01/2016 13:51

I live in East London. My son is in year 5 (nearly 10), and walks himself to school and home again. He's been doing this since the start of September. It's about a 5-6 minute walk and a few roads to cross.

moosemama · 22/01/2016 13:55

Year 5, 9/10 years old is when the school will accept pupils walking to and from school on their own here.

Ds1 has ASD and had two younger siblings at the school, so walked with me every day right through primary. Ds2 chose to walk with me and his sister right up to the end of Y6, as he was a bit sad that we wouldn't be walking together once he moved to secondary. Dd is currently 7, so I'll be walking her for another couple of years. Most people start to wean them off being walked all the way, by leaving them with the lovely crossing lady and watching them walk the last bit on their own at first.

Very easy walk for us though, 3-4 minutes door to door with one crossing that has a crossing patrol.

Ds1 has Local Authority door-to-door transport for his secondary school. Ds2 has been walking to secondary since he started there in September. It's about 1.25 miles and he walks with friends. Dh and I walked the route with him quite a few times over the summer so that he knew where he was going.

We've moved back to the same village I grew up in and my sister and I used to walk to infant school together from the age of 4/5 - although the roads were quieter and the village smaller back then (lots of housing developments have been tagged onto the boundaries since I lived here as a child). We also walked the mile and a half to and from primary school unaccompanied every day from the age of 7.

etttvatre · 22/01/2016 13:57

My DS in year 5 has just started walking to and from school himself. 5 minute walk with no major roads to cross. He loves it!

Herrerarerra · 22/01/2016 14:02

I walked both of my boys until they'd finished Yr6. We did live in a town centre though and there were several busy roads to cross between school and home, and not many of their friends lived near to us so they would've been walking alone. However, we moved house when my youngest was midway through Yr6 and I was able to walk across a common, through the woods and then through the park to meet him (the quickest and nicest route), he just had one road to cross which was right outside of school and manned by a lollipop man so I'd meet him before he got to the park.

Potatoface2 · 22/01/2016 14:03

my 18 month old once walked to the school by himself....just got back from taking the 6 year old and went up to the bathroom, he opened the door and walked back to the school ( less than a 5 minute walk)....i was running around like a headless chicken, he was bought back by a 'concerned' member of staff...changed the lock so he couldnt reach it after that....i had called the police as i had no idea where he had gone.....after that my children only started to walk when they went to senior school!

StealthPolarBear · 22/01/2016 14:03

My son is in y4. We have a shop about a mile away. There are some roads to cross but not huge and he does it now when I'm walking way behind. He's sensible when it matters. Should I start letting him walk to the shop and back next year maybe? Maybe April 20 17 or so when it's light and he is ten?
I can't tell if that's too relaxed, too strict or whatever!

JustDanceAddict · 22/01/2016 14:16

For me it was last year of primary as we moved nearer the school with no big roads to cross. If we'd stayed in our previous house it would've been at secondary, but walking to nearby friends.

ComposHatComesBack · 22/01/2016 14:34

At our primary school (rural village) you must drop off and dc will only be handed over to a parent or named adult at the end of the day. No wiggle room. It's a lovely school. Never struck me as odd tbh. Secondary school is different. Rural so you're on the bus alone from day

Seems that the experience of having to be picked up until the age of 11 and then six weeks later having to navigate public transport on your own is a bit mismatch.

I know the primary school are trying to keep the children safe, but are they recall encouraging that? Inadvertently they may be exposing kids to more risk as come 11 they've no real experience of crossing roads planning journey times to school without adult supervision.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 22/01/2016 14:39

Nearly all children walk to school by themselves from Year 5 here (so 9-10) It feels a bit early to me as mine are only just turned 9 at the start of year 5 but it they would be completely the odd ones out if I refused. The only ones who don't walk live too far from school and many of them get the school bus.

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