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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re smoking in the house?

12 replies

SapphireSeptember · 21/01/2016 13:17

I live with my in laws. Me, DH and FIL don't smoke, MIL does but never in the house. My BIL on the other hand smokes like a chimney and there is no where I can get away from it. I can even smell it in my room with the door shut, and have even tried stuffing things under the door to try and keep it out. Doesn't work. I've suffered this for over a year and it's now making me ill. I am very close to losing it with him. I'm at the point where I don't see why I should have to suffer because of one person being an idiot. And yes I have mentioned it before to no avail. (I suppose this is more a WWYD but anyway.) Help!

OP posts:
GummyBunting · 21/01/2016 13:20

I would get my own place where I could make the rules.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/01/2016 13:21

There's not really much you can do tbh. If it's your in-laws house and they obviously allow iit. You could speak to them but you say you already have, so I guess you're scuppered.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 21/01/2016 13:22

If it's your ILs house and they don't mind there isn't a lot you can do really, other than get your own place.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 21/01/2016 13:41

Why are you at your in laws? Is there a chance to move out on the horizon?

MTPurse · 21/01/2016 13:43

If it is his house and you are staying there then you can not say or do a lot really.

Move out?

LagunaBubbles · 21/01/2016 14:01

As much as this would disgust me to theres absolutely nothing you can do about it as its BILs house. So the only thing you can do is move.

Original poster
SapphireSeptember · 21/01/2016 14:57

(sigh) Didn't think there was anything I could do. I'm trying to save up deposits and stuff, while paying rent to in-laws, and supporting an unemployed husband, and I don't earn much as it is (we got by at our last flat because I got housing benefit.) The thing that gets me is he smokes in his room, so he clearly knows it bothers other people, and his dad doesn't like it either but won't say anything! I'm going to buy a draft excluder and say it's a late Christmas present. (This was supposed to only last three weeks between flats but then the land lady of the flat we were going to live in pulled it off the market, and I haven't been able to find anything since.) So I would love to move, but I can't right now. Sad

OP posts:
SweetSuz · 21/01/2016 16:40

Has you DH ever brought it up with him though? I think its more than reasonable to at least ask if he HAS to smoke in the house- as it makes you feel queasy/unwell. He can at least try. If you are paying rent you have a say.

DanceWithThePoets · 21/01/2016 18:19

By all means, treat yourself to a draft excluder, and treat BIL to an E-cig devise?

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2016 18:37

Is there a chance that your DH will get a job soon and you will be able to move?

CountCunula0729 · 21/01/2016 19:22

Its not your house- yes you live there, but it isnt yours. If it was your nameon the mortgage/lease id sag YANBU. Buy as it stands it isnt so YABU- if you want to live by your own rules then get your own place.

Id be a bit Hmm if someone i allowed to live in my house tried to make the rules.

annandale · 21/01/2016 19:32

I would go and stay with someone else to give yourself a break, but maybe there isn't anyone.

A couple of ideas to think about:

Property Guardians

Shared Lives Plus homeshare

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