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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to leave my employment

35 replies

Concerned97 · 21/01/2016 07:14

Posting here for traffic!

I have been employed at a small firm for six years, it's been a roller coaster, to say the least!

Last year was particularly hard due to a severe shortage of staff, employing unsuitable but "cheap" staff. Together with a huge back office system implementation that I managed single handed.

By the end of the year, I was at breaking point, having worked 12 hour days, weekends, from home to try and keep things moving, even that was failing, I still couldn't keep up with demand.

The industry I work in has a massive issue with lack of qualified staff, my remuneration is good, on par with the sector "top paid" jobs. During my review I was awarded a substantial bonus 12.5% of my salary. I have just received this.

However, whilst the money is very nice, I did actually work the hours and many more to earn it, with no request or offer of remuneration. I was also given a very nice lunch for myself and husband as a thank you.

The problem is though, that the day to day treatment that I receive is erratic at best and unacceptable at worst.

When I approached the partners about the level of work/stress etc, I was greeted with "oh you're not going to whinge are you". I was working twelve hour days, weekends, from home etc. But that was swept under the carpet.

Some days all is good, other days I am spoken to like a second class citizen for any minor misdemeanour, so far no major incidents have happened with regard to the time I was working alone, but there may or may not be something in the background that hasn't come to light.

So thankfully we managed to employ a really great person, been there one month, all going well, so far so good. I can see light at the end of the tunnel, getting work backlog cleared, but as usual nothing I do is "right", if I do something one way, it should be done another, the partners do not fulfil their duties, impacts on me, but still my fault when things are not done to the required standard. I am deemed responsible and accountable for everything. It's not acceptable, tried countless times to discuss it.

I appreciate that the bonus proves that I am valued and is too retain me working there, but their attitude is not acceptable.

Yesterday was my birthday. Myself and new colleague called into partners, not even a good morning from either partner, then a tirade of "not good enough, blah, blah" for not catching up with the backlog quickly enough, this is months of working alone and cutting corners. When we came out of the office, my colleague said "why so much anger" over such a small issue, they always seem to be angry about little things?" She Pretty much summed it up.

Now this is just one incident, but I do feel after six years working there, I expect a. "Good morning", and a happy birthday.... One partner managed to grunt it at me during the course of the day, the other said nothing, then last night I get a text saying, didn't get a chance to say it today but happy birthday. Without doubt he knew it was my birthday, he had every opportunity to speak to me during the day. This is just an example, he blows hot and cold all the time. Obviously realised that he was out of order so text last night!

So, I had a light bulb moment, a recruitment agency who I keep in touch with sent me a spec saying I know you're not looking but this is really local, are you interested? I felt really pissed off that a simple pleasantry could not be given. So I suddenly thought "bollocks, I'm going for it.

I think it's time to move on, but feel massively guilty about the fact I've just received a bonus. But I am tired and stressed and not happy. I cannot get them to work as a team, things happen I blow up, they do it for a short while, then they revert back. They are sometimes really nice, but then really awful.

I am lucky that the industry will mean that I really should not have a problem with future employment.

AIBU, when I've received a bonus and I now have some decent help? I am shocked at the fact that this maybe simple thing has after all the stress made me feel really "fuck them" it maybe seems petty?

OP posts:
unlucky83 · 21/01/2016 08:38

Am I the only person thinking 'out of the frying pan into the fire' - you have this opportunity now - which hopefully will bring in a similar income. But what if that turns out to be worse than your current position? Will there be other opportunities or will you stuck?
I wouldn't stress about them forgetting to say Happy Birthday though -to some people adult birthdays aren't important...they aren't in most of my family - two years ago I forgot it was my own birthday for most of the day....

KeyserSophie · 21/01/2016 08:39

So, I agree that the current situation sounds dreadful and that you dont need to put up with it, so I think you can look at this two ways

  1. Apply for new job and leave.
  2. Leverage your current "equity" and demand better treatment from the partners. Nothing to lose really. Just start speaking your mind and taking no shit and see what happens.

You might be surprised.

The Happy Birthday wouldnt bother me though- doubt my boss knows when it is. I dont know when hers is.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 21/01/2016 08:42

Apply for the new job. There's no downside to that. If you get then resign. Simple.

Penfold007 · 21/01/2016 08:47

Familiarity breeds contempt and that's what is happenings here. The partners have been taking you for granted and there are no consequences for their appalling behaviour. Find a new job and move on.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 21/01/2016 08:49

OK.....Concerned 97...

I am truly horrified how badly you've been treated - I think they are entitled bullies... .

The 'happy birthday' omission isn't the least of it is it... I think you know this dont you?

The comment re your mum's passing was unforgivable.... They apologised only as it was in their best interests to do so ... ie otherwise you were leaving.... What sort of company makes you take leave when you've been doing loads of unpaid overtime...?? And be so needlessly nasty...

Why aren't they paying you for this over time?? They're millionaires you say??

So you are grateful for a 12.5% bonus?? Really?

So you are regularly doing 50% more than your hours for free?? I think 12.5% they have themselves a bargain... Oh and you're very forgiving of their appalling behaviour... It really is win-win for them isn't it??

I wouldn't leave now... At the very least you need to negotiate payment for all the overtime you've done... Preferably at time and a half....

This extra overtime must have really messed up your home time...?

They can so afford to pay you for this... You actually are in a very powerful position...

Give them a summary of all you do... They know your worth... They're relying on you not knowing your worth and paying and treating you badly...

I think it's a case of slowly slowly catching monkey...

Ask for one of payment for the last what? Year/6 months whatever you're happy with asking... Personally I'd ask for as much as possible ... Remember they are. massively underpaying you. Others here can help putting green together a opening negotiations letter...

Also include and negotiated a salary increase(this will look better for your future progression)

Then you leave....

You are acting way too nice... (I do it myself!)... It's also quite a female way of behaving..
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ThomasRichard · 21/01/2016 09:24

I agree with everyone else. You don't owe them anything, they have treated you appallingly: go.

SkiptonLass2 · 21/01/2016 11:28

Take the new job.

Be prepared for much wailing along the lines of 'oh but we need you so much' and have some polite but firm replies ready.

I left a job where I was treated like crap (and I'm tempted to do it again as my new boss is awful) and I suppressed the urge to tell them in no uncertain terms why I left. It would have been cathartic but in the end, it's a small world and you never know when you'll end up working with people again. I left with a bland 'wonderful opportunity come up, blah blah too good to turn down, blah blah thanks for the opportunities etc.'

Concerned97 · 21/01/2016 12:25

I've asked them to put my CV forward for one job, will keep you posted Smile

Thanks for your comments!

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 21/01/2016 12:29

You're being exploited, and you're being treated rudely by them! Go for the new job, and good luck!

VitaSackvileVest · 21/01/2016 12:47
Smile
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