To be irritated with DH's attitude to sickness

[jollyfrenchy]

I'm sure it sounds like a cliche but DH drives me mad when he's sick. Right now me and my two girls have been ill with headaches/fever/coughs/generally feeling shit virus for three days. Now he's got it and I'm finding it really hard to find any sympathy. Here are the things that irritate me:

a) When he's sick he literally stays in bed all day and doesn't move at all, and even refuses to talk, just mumbles in a croaky groany way. Over the past few days when I've been sick I've had to get up, take the only healthy child to school, work (I'm self employed so no sick pay or option to take time off), emptied and filled the dishwasher, fed the children and us, and put everybody to bed. My only concession to being sick has been to have a 1 hour nap pre-school run, and to go to bed as soon as the kids were in. I have never yet in all my years been so ill that I couldn't talk at all, even if just in a whisper. His only concession to help in the instance of my being ill has been to read one of the kids a story of a bedtime, and to cuddle up in bed with one that was poorly at the weekend (oh what a hardship that was!).

b) I have never ever (in 15 years of being together) known him take a sick day from work. On work days he always goes in no matter what, and then on his day off spends the whole day in bed (see above). This leads me to believe he can control his illness to the extent that he will push on through heroically when it's a work day but just allows himself to be ill on a day off. As somebody who gets no sick pay, I'm of the opinion that if you are lucky enough be eligible for sick pay you should take advantage of it if you are actually sick rather than wasting your precious days off being sick.

Today, when I had to go out to work for an hour, leaving all three kids at home with him, I was genuinely worried about their safety. I got the impression that had one of them fallen down the stairs and broken a leg, he would have just croaked to one of the others to call 999 and not actually got up to help.

Okay, lovely rant over. Is he just a classic cliche of an ill man? Are they all like this. Or am I being a really unsympathetic wife?

Hahaha Mermaid my DH is also astounded by my ability to be ill and not constantly mention it. I think he thinks if I'm not acting like he does when ill it isn't real. I always thought he was unsympathetic and useless when I was ill, however I have discovered that if I act man-ill - ie lie on the sofa with a blanket, croak and mention how awful I feel approximately every twenty seconds, he swings into action, does everything with DS, cooks, brings tea and is generally lovely. It's like he's incapable of rememering I'm feeling shite without a constant visual reminder...

cesare and mermaid I must try that next time too, maybe he also doesn't realise how shit I'm feeling because I just get on with life the best I can. Must remember to use the phrase "poor sick lamb" to describe myself next time.

pilates :-D

I have to say, I don't understand people who carry on doing mostly unnecessary things when they're sick. Going to work because you won't get paid otherwise, fine, but surely your partner can help with dinner, bedtime, school-runs etc. If you carry on as normal, why would they think to take over? They obviously don't think you're that sick!