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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit mean?

43 replies

SallySeasick · 20/01/2016 15:38

Petty but it's stuck in my mind.

My mum is retired but very lively and chatty. She loves talking to people out and about and just making conversation. People do seem to warm to her too, mainly.

Anyway went on family hol recently and she started chatting to older lady and her daughter, who was maybe in her thirties. Mum was being really chatty but passport queues and luggage probs were making everyone a bit grumpy so we were trying to get her to hurry up. The woman's daughter looked a bit tired and exasperated too.

We then bumped into them again at the airport on the way home. Mum said a cheery hello and daughter kind of visibly rolled her eyes and gave us a sarcastic smile!!

Aibu to think that's pretty bloody rude? My mums not stupid, she takes social cues and was hardly going to accost them?!

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 20/01/2016 15:41

Yep, it's rude but not worth you thinking about. Just some random you're unlikely to ever meet again.
In the words of Frozen "let it go!"

Original poster
SallySeasick · 20/01/2016 15:42

Yeah you're absolutely right!!

I just don't get why people are like that - I would be ashamed to do that to someone Confused

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 20/01/2016 15:43

Yes - Eye rolls never bothered me, anyway Smile

CakeNinja · 20/01/2016 15:44

Rude but obviously you don't know, they could have had the flight from hell and be feeling murderous.

It was rude but seriously not worth dwelling on 2 weeks later!

Original poster
SallySeasick · 20/01/2016 15:47

It was yesterday. This was all at the airport before the flight. The daughter was kind of looking down giggling nastily trying to avoid making eye contact with my mum. All a bit mean girls at school style behaviour when she was half my mums age Confused

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 15:47

You say that the daughter looked a bit exasperated the first time? Maybe she didn't really want to talk and your DM didn't pick up on the social cues very well (although you say she normally does).

I can see it from the daughter's side as well - she may have been going on holiday or the trip may have been for more serious reasons, or maybe she was a nervous flier. Or she may find social contact with strangers difficult (I find things like that incredibly uncomfortable).

Just chalk it up to experience - not everyone it going to respond well to that sort of situation.

PrivatePike · 20/01/2016 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 15:48

not everyone IS going... Blush

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 15:51

Ah - your first post mentions a sarcastic smile and an eye roll but the second post mentions giggling.

Either way it's isn't worth dwelling on - my DGM was like your DM and talked to everyone, but sometimes if you speak to strangers, they won't want to know.

Whatdoidohelp · 20/01/2016 15:51

You said "your mum was being chatty ... So we tried to get her to hurry up". Clearly your mum missed the cues there that the woman and her daughter had had enough. I don't think she is as good at knowing when to reign it in as you think she is.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 15:53

And if she was still chatting to them despite the daughter showing her feelings, that wasn't appropriate and the daughter's response was fairly standard.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 15:55

This is one of the situations where the daughter could also post 'AIBU to not have wanted to chat to a stranger at the airport when she wouldn't leave us alone despite fairly obvious hints'

BarbaraofSeville · 20/01/2016 15:58

I was just thinking that Livia. There are plenty of people on here that would be very annoyed to have some random attach themselves chatting away.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 20/01/2016 15:59

Yes it's rude to be chatting pointlessly to strangers in queues so much that they need to be hurried up, rolled eyes is also rude - they seem a similar level of rudeness so all's good.

NerrSnerr · 20/01/2016 15:59

I hate randoms who chat tome and won't shut up. She was rude but I can see how your mum could be annoying.

Birdsgottafly · 20/01/2016 16:03

""All a bit mean girls at school style behaviour when she was half my mums age""

I laugh at eye rolls, if the perpetrator is over 13, adults that eye roll aren't worth giving head room to.

The only thing that I would say is that I don't like being talked at and if I was tired, in a queue, I would want leaving in peace.

It does sound as though your Mum wasn't picking that up. Does she have any issue with being silent, Or does she think chatting is better than silence? Not everyone feels like that.

Birdsgottafly · 20/01/2016 16:05

Just to add if your Mum was on her own, I would happily chat to her, but not when she has people with her.

fusionconfusion · 20/01/2016 16:09

You know, even if the mum missed the social cues, there's no need for nastiness really.

Original poster
SallySeasick · 20/01/2016 16:13

Yeah I agree fusion.

Perhaps my mum didn't read all the social cues but my point is that she's respectful and nice.

Even if she was a bit crazy, I would certainly indulge someone saying hello to me at the airport without resorting to rudeness!

I felt so bad for my mum, it was such a nasty response when she was only trying to be friendly

OP posts:
Orange1969 · 20/01/2016 16:15

Rude to giggle, roll eyes etc.

However, much as I enjoy chatting to strangers sometimes, I probably wouldn't be in the mood to chat to someone who was slowing a queue down.

I was having a difficult day recently and this woman insisted on prattling to me as I was out at the shops. I was polite to her, but I was stressed and in a hurry and didn't want to talk. I was polite, as I say. For all I know, she could have been lonely and have not talked to anyone for days.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 16:18

I think that you may be reading more into it (unless it was worse than it sounds). I have a stress reaction if strangers speak to me, I will try to be polite but if they won't go away quickly then it's worse.

And rude would have been if she had had a go at your mum.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 16:18

And it's lovely that you are happy to indulge people but it isn't that easy for all of us.

pasturesgreen · 20/01/2016 16:23

I don't know, really.

Giggling and eye rolling was obviously rude.

However, I can sympathise with the daughter. Strangers wanting to chat make me excruciatingly uncomfortable (MH issues). I wouldn't blank them, but they'd get very clear cues I have no intention of keeping a conversation going.

Original poster
SallySeasick · 20/01/2016 16:23

Ok fair enough.

Without labouring the point any more though my mum literally just said hello. She was hardly prattling away. The woman's reaction was just a bit ott, "oh shit the crazy woman from the airport don't make eye contact" my mum didn't want a conversation!

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 20/01/2016 16:30

But you said in the OP she was really chatty.

If she had been chatty the first time and said hello the second, perhaps the daughter thought they would be delayed by her chatting again?