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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wash my toddler's hair every night even though she cries?

51 replies

redcarrot1 · 20/01/2016 03:57

Not a world ending matter...but basically I like to rinse through her hair every night as she plays with it while she eats etc and gets it sticky. About 2 times a week I actually wash it with soap.

I rinse it by lying her back in the bath but she screams and pulls herself up immediately. I've then resorted to using a jug while she stands but it gets her face wet. She gets really upset and screams, cries. Just a shame to go through this every night when bath time should be fun...

Am I being a meanie carrying on despite the tears?

OP posts:
Lweji · 20/01/2016 08:33

I used to so the look at the ceiling with ds too. :)

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 20/01/2016 08:34

My dd has refused a bath since she could pull herself up.

She loves to stand in the shower.

Put an interesting picture high up above the bath. Or toy. Or anything.

When its hair wash time, say 'look up and find peppa ( whatever) and rinse hair.

Water goes on back of her head. No laying.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/01/2016 08:36

Very wet sponge to wet the hair and the flexible jug to rinse it.

If she doesn't have much hair you can rinse it with the sponge

ShesGotLionsInHerHeart · 20/01/2016 08:37

Yanbu. I do my son's every time he has a bath; he has cried every single time 'it's in my eyes' when it totally isn't. It's something that's got to be done, so you and her may as well get on with it!

FourForYouGlenCoco · 20/01/2016 08:41

YANBU. If it's got food and stuff in, it needs a rinse. My DD used to be very anti-hair washing, she didn't like the water in her eyes. I got in with her for a while and encouraged her to lay back in the water with me holding her head so she knew she wouldn't go anywhere. Now at 3.5 she will happily leap in and lay straight down - she finds it 'belaxing' (relaxing) apparently! Is getting in with her an option? Or getting in the shower with her?

Ilovenannyplum · 20/01/2016 08:42

YANBU
My 17 month old loves nothing more than rubbing his dinner in his hair, a flannel wouldn't cut it so I have no choice than to wash it daily despite his screams

It takes seconds to rinse the shampoo off, I don't think its going to mentally scar them Wink

moggle · 20/01/2016 09:04

YANBU a wet flannel or baby wipe just doesn't cut it! haha. I don't always use shampoo but it does need a decent amount of water to rinse all the yoghurt / bolognese etc off. Also LOL at asking my 14mo not to wipe her hands in her hair. One thing that does sometimes work instead of a full on hairwash - if it wasn't really caked on - is a very wet sponge wiped over her head, doesn't drip in the eyes too much.
DD used to refuse to sit down in the bath too. Now she refuses to stand up so it's washing her bum which is annoying!
I found that if I sang twinkle twinkle she would do the hands thing in the air and look up at them and then I would pour the water over to rinse the shampoo off and it wouldn't go in her eyes too much. She's getting better at looking up at me when I ask her to now.

Seeline · 20/01/2016 09:19

Use a shower head instead of a jug - it's much easier to control force and direction of water, and keep out of eyes.

Use baby shampoo/conditioner - just water makes the hair very tangly afterwards, particularly if fine and/or long.

Flannel over the eyes, and definitely get them to sit up and tip head right back to look at the ceiling.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 20/01/2016 09:20

Second the goggles suggestion-for us it stopped bathtime from a hideous screamfest and now DS loves having his hair washed (it tickles apparently)

Micah · 20/01/2016 09:22

How old is she?

Invest in a quality, comfortable pair of goggles- the speedo little swimmers are good. Deep bath and let her experiment with putting her face under the water, running the shower over her hear etc and keeping her eyes open.

Plus is her swimming confidence will also improve!

ratspeaker · 20/01/2016 10:09

What about a shampoo guard?
Its possible she doesn’t like the feeling of water running over her face so one of these might help.
www.amazon.co.uk/Clippasafe-CL201-Shampoo-Shield/dp/B000G1TDNI

Iwantakitchen · 20/01/2016 10:11

Just use a wet flannel!

Seriouslyffs · 20/01/2016 10:13

Is her hair long? If it's getting mucky every meal time maybe she needs a style that can be flannelled clean.

LordOfMisrule · 20/01/2016 10:15

Flannel on her forehead, sitting in the tub. Tilt head back, pour water over head from jug. Only way.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/01/2016 11:26

I used a wet flannel for a long time. Then progressed to the shower attachment, you can be very accurate with that.

Leelu6 · 20/01/2016 12:32

Agree that washing hair daily is excessive. What about using products that protect her eyes/face?

to wash my toddler's hair every night even though she cries?
to wash my toddler's hair every night even though she cries?
Doublebubblebubble · 20/01/2016 12:37

Yep I use a sponge. I remember when I was little not liking having my hair done because my mum would do what you're doing... Imagine it her way. X

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 20/01/2016 12:43

"I make my DD cry every day doing something that doesn't need doing"

Just Stop, please.

weeblueberry · 20/01/2016 12:46

You've said toddler but not exactly how old she is? If she's old enough why not get her to lie back in the bath, floating style and rinse her hair that way? It's how we do it with DD because she understandably hates the jug method.

thehillshaveyes · 20/01/2016 12:47

I wash my toddlers hair once a week because she absolutely hates it! She has a bath every other night but I just wet it with a flannel without soap to get any sticky food etc out. Don't keep doing it if she's screaming and crying - she'll end up being terrified of water!

Original poster
redcarrot1 · 20/01/2016 14:02

Wow, thanks for the tips! She's turned 2. I'll see if I can get an improvement with the flannel technique. Maybe I'll also try to be less ott with hygiene..

Sometimes it's hard to know if you're being a strict parent or not.

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 20/01/2016 14:04

Please look up the Janet Lansbury stuff too.

StuckInARabbitHole · 20/01/2016 14:18

YANBU. I imagine you talk to her to calm her while you are doing it so it is not abuse. I would not leave a DC with sticky, knotty hair either.

I had similar with two of mine when they were toddlers (always done it since birth like you) but they had too much hair to just use a flannel! I always used a shower attachment with a visor thingy so got very little water in their faces and tried to engage with bath crayons to draw on the tiles on the wall or filling up lots of plastic cups for a tea party etc. The phase soon passed.

Mine also didn't like the lying down in the bath once they became more aware that water could cover their faces.

StubbleTurnips · 20/01/2016 14:21

We have various a4 pictures on our bathroom ceiling that regularly change. We ask DD to tell us what she can see / describe the pictures and by that time the hair wash is usually done.

Her hair needs washing everyday as its like rapunzels, and usually has half of nursery lunch in it.

ifgrandmahadawilly · 20/01/2016 14:32

I had this exact situation. Things improved when I got dd a bath doll and let her pretend to wash the dolls hair. I also let her rub the 'bubbles' in herself It seemed to work.

I also made sure to speak to her in a really calm tone and stay relaxed while I rinsed her hair.