To absolutely insist my child repeats a school year?

[Creamofthecrop]

My DD is 5 and currently in year 1. I felt mixed emotions this year as the law changed and parents can now delay reception if they feel the child isn't ready as I feel it is the right thing to do but that it wasn't an option for us - it was hold her back for a year, fine but they would go straight into year 1.

So my DD went into reception just 4 weeks after her 4th birthday and I There was a big difference between her and the others in my opinion - she was much smaller, spoke a lot more babyish. Some of the other children were kind to her but not in a friends way - more like they were looking after her. I heard one boy saying to his mum 'aah look there is Jasmine - she is a baby but she is growing now'. She got invited to about 6 parties in reception and ran around happily but nobody played with her in particular. She liked to make friends but never seemed bothered if she didn't. She learnt her sounds, could write some letters and numbers but nothing else. You would spell out C A T and ask her what the word was and she would say 'dog'.

In year 1, no party invitations so far. She can read simple words like mum, dad, cat, dog but nothing longer. The teacher laughed when we discussed her reading and said they are working with her to actually look at the words on the page rather than guess the words based off the picture. She is on the lowest ability table. You can read her letters but her words are ineligible. The teacher told me in October that she has a small group of close friends but when I ask her about her day, she has always played by herself. She told me the other day what a great laugh she had playing hide and seek. But when I asked if she had been the finder or hider, she laughed and said she was both as she counted to 10 and then found herself as she was playing alone. Today I asked her if she had anyone to play with at lunchtime and she said that none of the others would play with her and that she was by herself everyday. She was quite friendly with 2 children at latter reception but she never mentions them anymore and if I ask, she just says they are silly now - although she did say she didn't have any friends in reception but the teacher said she did and was very kind. But the interests she has, the others say are babyish. For example, she is obsessed with paw patrol and says some of the others tell her it is only for babies.

I don't feel she has any SEN issues, I have a child that does and she is so different - I just feel that she belongs in the year below. Can I insist on her repeating year 1 and would there be any social implications on her at this age if the school let me? Or would it be better for her to go back into reception now? I am considering moving her school if it would mean she could repeat the year despite having other children at the school.

My dd is jun born due to go sept 16. She is struggling with behaviour.
It seems a crazy system where kids are forced into a group with ones a whole year older, for their whole school career whether they can keep up or not.
I would think the social side would catch up in OP case.
As per other posters i would be careful that secondary will not make them skip that yr.
i wonder what age they would put your dc as. As if they are summer born and socially and educationally 6m behind for eg then they would only be mid way through yr below.
The reading is of a level with my 3.6yo.
I guess though a sept-oct born will not necessarily be top it is much less likely they will go below the bottom of the class. As an aug born would have to be 6m above average to be class average.

I have a friend who had a premature summer baby and asked to repeat the year. The school wouldn't let her but she then decided to move her to the school her younger child was attending and the head of that school was happy for her to move into the lower year.

The new recommendations are such that summer borns (May onwards i think) should have the right to start with the later cohort...at least the guidance for LEAs is that there should be more parental choice. As such, whilst a few schools may begrudge many won't. I know ours wouldn't. Our daughter is middle of August and struggling in yr 1 too.

The school wouldn't let her but she then decided to move her to the school her younger child was attending and the head of that school was happy for her to move into the lower year.

It's been established that some schools will do that, but as PP have said, it has a knock-on effect in secondary, but won't affect the primary school, which is why they may be happy to agree to it.

Not sure if it's been raised as an issue, but if summer born children are to be allowed to start in reception when they are already 5, what happens if they want to do the 11+? Do they sit it when they are a year older than their peers?

I ama gone for the 11 plus it will be weighted by age as it already is.

Imagine!

My DS is in year 1 and has already turned 6. He loves Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol and yes, some of the other kids have commented they are for babies but luckily his class is overall on the young side socially so it's not an issue. So I wouldn't take her interests as a sign that she's not where she should be socially.

I would ask the school what they are doing to support your DD and about the possibility of repeating yr1 or moving down to Reception now. But as others have said, if the year group below is full there won't be a space to officially move. The school might be happy to do something informal for a yr or 2 but I can't see them keeping her a year back unofficially as it would cause problems in year 6.

I would gave a meeting with school SENCO and teacher to discuss what support they are giving her. It is evident from your op, that she does need support, I think you need to find out.

tiggy

Will they actually have the right? Or the right to request it?

I think that you need to find the best way of helping your child in all aspects and focusing on repeating the year might not necessarily be the best way. There is a child in my ds2 year who is bing assessed for SEN at the moment, they are year 1. She is joining reception for some lessons. I have no idea if they are considering moving her down or keeping her with the rest of her year. It is not down to space in the year though as there are a couple of places spare in both years.
All children are supposed to have an IEP but in reality it is often the same as all the other children until issues are identified. You don't need to have a SEN diagnosis to get an IEP
My DS1 wasn't diagnosed with ASD until he was 8, prior to that we thought that he only had dyspraxia issues. He started school 2weeks after turning 4. He found learning to read easy and was reading independently in year 1. But he has never found it easy to join in at break. There were 2of them in the class who were very young for the year and they both attended school part time initially, but the timings were fitted in around what was being done at school that day, eg they didn't miss literacy lessons. We also had no hesitation in giving him some extra days off if he seemed very tired until the point that legally he had to be at school
My DD started school a few days before turning 5 , and has not found reading easy and at times has been taken back down a set of reading books to help consolidate what she has already learnt. she is mildly dyslexic but also very sociable and is rarely on her own when at school

DD turned 5 a few days AFTER starting school. (DS1 very young for the year, DD very old for the year)

Secondary schools woulnt put her down as no gcse grades at 16 because she would still be 16 the following year if she repeated. I am August baby was 2m prem left school done and dusted at 15! Even if I had done a year again I still would only been 16y and 9m when I left.

But the interests she has, the others say are babyish. For example, she is obsessed with paw patrol and says some of the others tell her it is only for babies

I just wanted to point out that ALL of my three love Paw Patrol and they are 8, 6 and 4 years old. My eldest probably wouldn't admit it at school but she likes to watch it anyway. My middle child still loves nothing more than to sit down and watch Peppa Pig too. She's a summer born but also immensely bright and well ahead of others in her class. Having 'babyish' interests isn't really a worry I don't think, and it's not an indicator of ability or intellect. When she was in reception she also used to come home and tell me that she'd played by herself at school because she had no friends. The teachers assured me that this wasn't true at all and that she was never (to their knowledge) left alone to play at playtime. I still happen to think that my middle child, now in year 2, is quite immature compared to others her age but I am confident that she will get there emotionally when she's ready.

I would say that at this fairly early stage of year one there are going to be many children who still seem left a bit behind but they can, and do, catch up. School takes a bit of getting used to, all the different rules and new children can be quite daunting for a while. If your daughter is happy enough going to school then I really don't think you should be worrying.

Secondary schools wouldn't put her down as no gcse grades at 16 because she would still be 16 the following year if she repeated.

This doesn't make sense. The OP wants her DD to stay down a year, meaning she would always be a year older than her classmates. So in Yr11 she would be 17. Which means when she is 16 she would be in Yr10 and therefore not taking GCSEs (unless she did one or two early).

Or have I got that completely wrong?

Blimey, tiggy, that sounds an absolute nightmare and as usual, those with pointy elbows will gain the most from any change.

Personally I think the system in the UK is daft. I think children should broadly start with kids the same age as them and they should be assessed for school readiness by nursery. All that will happen now is that the problem will be shifted to a different time of year - there are a couple of kids in Ds' year who have been allowed to repeat and I think it is really unfair as it makes the younger children in his class seem even younger.

The nursery fees for lower income families will be significantly reduced.
30 free hours term time equates to 21.9 hours a year. For the remaining hours they will only need to pay thirty percent of that cost.
with the cost of after school care not benefiting from the free hours the costs won't be that different.

If you are born in July or August like the OP child when she is in year 11 she will be sitting her exams in the May she will be 15 and 8m.

If she repeats a year come year 11 she will be still only 16 and 8m she would just be the oldest as the September born child kept in proper years would be 16 and 7m old.

Well said tiggy tape.

I can see how, in individual cases, being able to delay would help.

But, to have a blanket rule that everyone can is just silly, and will simply shift the youngest to a different month - march. Also exacerbated with rather than the youngest being 12 months younger, they could now be 16 months.

Personal perspective here. My DD is the youngest in her year & has Aspergers. She has been playing catch up since starting primary school.

Tonight we went to the Open Evening for our local High School for Y5 & 6 parents. DD is Y5. She absolutely bloody loved it!! (I'm not sure if I was more surprised or relieved!)

Coped from start to finish brilliantly, the only complaint she has is she can't start straight away :)

OP - please think very carefully about holding your child back a year, it is something I have considered.

I hadn't realised how much it can impact on sports events & other extra curricular activities.

I also hadn't realised how much my "baby" is ready for the next challenge in her life....

This is a subject dear to my heart. Have a dd who is late Aug born with recently diagnosed very mild SEN. Funny how so many late summer borns end up with a SEN diagnosis.

Academically 'fine' though she is in a class full of the offspring of highly intelligent and successful parents so probably more than fine all things comsidered. We've been requesting since reception that she repeats the year (now year 1). Keeps getting refused.

LEA appears to have a blanket policy with respect to repeating. Is this even legal, especially given the recent legislation granting parents the right to request entry to school for summer borns at compulsory school age? I find it so very unfair to children already in the 'system' that this cannot be applied retrospectively.