So my cousin has decided to have no children at her wedding but hasn't bothered to explain anything to me just sent the same impersonal email round to everyone. My brother's child is invited.
Background rant: she was bridesmaid at my wedding, she is Godmother to my DS1 who will be just a couple of years younger than she was she was when she was bridesmaid at my wedding (14). She will be wearing the same antique veil that has been in the family for several generations. I have fond memories of making a comment to her at my own wedding about how she would be the next to wear it. DB's child will be under a year old at the wedding so they have decided that that will be ok even though the wedding invite says that without children there everyone will be able to enjoy themselves and relax more . My DB has told me that he feels very guilty that his DS has been invited but my DCs haven't. I have been told that the reason that they aren't inviting any children is to cut down on costs but I am not actually sure that this is true or not.
I currently can't even look at my own wedding photos without getting upset when I look at the veil so don't even think that I could cope with being at the wedding without my children being there. My husband has refused to go unless the children are invited but we haven't told anyone yet. It would be 6 hours travelling in the car. I didn't take DCs to the previous 2 weddings on this side of the family as 1was abroad and the other would have involved lots of travelling across London and back as to keep costs down the registry office ceremony and the evening reception were miles apart and separated by hours as well. DS1 has ASD and we felt they the previous 2 weddings would involve so much upheaval for him for such a short period of time at the wedding that it would be inappropriate to go. This wedding is somewhere he has been to before and we would also be able to have access to somewhere quiet if he wasn't coping well.
So do we just say that we can't get child care and so DH and I can't go? Do I go on my own and spend the day feeling like s@&t. Or do I go down the emotional blackmail route about how DN is allowed but mine aren't, how horrible it would be for it to stop being a family veil because my DD won't get to see it and I wish that I had never worn the veil in the 1st place?
I don't want to cause a family argument but I feel that my cousin should at least have bothered to explain personally. It has been years since she had even bothered to send her godson a present and we have been saying for a while how selfish that she can be at times.