To think one of the hardest parts about being a parent is..

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

When they stop being pleased to see you?

I'm over it with my older two now, but the youngest is getting to that stage. She comes out of school and I just get a small smile and a mumbled 'hi' instead of running to me with 'mummy!!' crashing into me and a barrage of what she's been doing.

It's only a small thing but it hurts

Slipping through my fingers..

Cotto killed the mood called bitter sweet.

Yeah, it's not normal to have strong emotional bonds with your children is it

I think Needs has it spot on, it's that we don't always see the time slipping past because we're busy with other things.

It's ok to take time to reflect, it's ok to have mixed emotions and it is definitely ok to talk about them on here! It's peculiar emotional policing to state otherwise.

The lack of head space. But it improves once they get older.

I am not a precious moments parent. That poem does not do anything for me. I prefer to celebrate my dcs' achievements and growing maturity.

Raising 2 well-adjusted independent adults will be my crowning achievement as a parent.

Cotto is right, but it was just blunt. It's possible to feel loss and gladness simultaneously. I miss my children being babies, but equally feel so grateful to see them grow strong and reach new developmental stages. It's bittersweet, exactly.

Sorry it was a bit blunt
but really I cant bear all the mimsy poems and shite

I have amazing bonds with my children - they are almost adults and nothing on this earth would make me want to go back to having small DC.

The hardest thing for me is the worry.

It never really goes away completely however old they get.

But cotto, just because you feel that way it doesn't make it wrong that others feel differently. We're all different people with different emotions, past experiences can dampen or heighen those emotions. I suffered the loss of both parents as a teenager and in some ways it's made me hard . I'm tough on my teens because 'I was on my own at your age' and I'm soppy on the small one because the things we do together brings back memories of my relationship with my mother, I remember her reading to me etc

I'm glad you feel so comfortable with your children growing up, in an adeal world of course that's the way it should be. Those who feel differently aren't necessarily emotionally dependent, just different.

For me the hardest thing about having children is seeing them in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Watching them grow up on the other hand is a joy.

I love my teenagers, they are great fun to be with, way more fun then when they were tiny and dependent.

My dd has nasty migraines. At the worst she quite often has told me she wants to die, when all I can do is cuddle her and tell her that it will get better. She is 15. Just because your child gets bigger doesn't mean they stop needing and loving you. They just usually need you and show their love in different way. Enjoy the lovely moments as they grow older, don't mourn them, there will be lots and lots of lovely moments ahead.

I love it that my son is growing up, love it.
It still makes me sad sometimes too.

It's perfectly possible to feel both emotions at the same time and a shame we never seem to be able to say so - on a parenting forum of all places - without someone coming along to lecture us.

I feel nothing but pride and joy each time my DC take a new step to independence.

I've greatly enjoyed each part of the process but have felt no desire to freeze any moment in time or stretch it out. Nor have I mourned it's passing (maybe because I did enjoy it?). It always seemed 'right' when things moved on and completely in tune with my life.

My 13month old is already there!
I've just gone back to work (part time) and when I get home (long day/long commute) ds1 aged 4 throws himself at me for a big cuddle (has never and still doesn't tell me much about nursery, unless he was Special Helper, or he's fallen in love) but ds2 - pah! A small wry smile is the best I can wring out of him before he resumes his cosy cuddles with grandma (who looks after him while I'm at work). He clings to her whenever they're in the same room and sobs when she leaves. I would be jealous, but I know it's actually ideal that he has a carer he feels so strongly and securely attached to. Means I can skip off to work and out for the odd g&t guilt-free!

Monkeymamman how wonderful that they have such a lovely grandma - guilt free indeed!

Im not lecturing anyone just putting my opinion across.

I have suffered loss and maybe that colours my opinion.
I have no idea why women are meant to feel "guilt" at having to work to feed their DC nor feel sad when their DC are just growing up normally.
It seems like a wasted emotion, pointless and their is so much to celebrate and be joyful for.
Your DC are happy and alive , their is nothing to be sad about and plenty to celebrate

I should add there is a time when the nicest DC do test the boundaries and become a bit "Meh" towards their parents.

DD1 did " aint listenin" and DS2 "I wanna lift"

I replied of course with ,"DD you will listen if you would like me to carry on providing your pocket money, lifts etc I will not tolerate rudeness" ditto DS2.
They got the message that not they cannot behave unpleasantly towards me. THE END.
I do feel sorry sometimes for mothers who's DC have got into the habit of being indifferent to their mothers and a bit rude.
not aimed at anyone on this thread ,just an observation