To think there's a way to make my evenings productive?

[Willow108]

There are loads of interests and activities I would like to spend time on in the evenings (exercise, reading, cooking, creative stuff like knitting, writing). I work full-time and have young children so the time from 8pm until I go to bed is the only time when I can realistically do any of this stuff. And yet once DCs are in bed I tend to flop completely and spend hours sitting around, mindlessly surfing the internet, reading blogs and instagram feeds showing other people's productive and creative lives.
Its an honest question- how can I be more productive in the evening? Can anyone share advice on how they do it?

I have been a lot happier since I have stopped looking at the internet and watching tv in the evenings. My children go to bed at 9pm and I usually go at 10.30pm so really I felt I needed time to do things in the evening, not just relax. If I go on the computer I get distracted by 1001 things and the time goes - but doesn't leave me feeling relaxed. If I watch tv, I fall asleep! (Of course you might not feel the same, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with either). When DH is away (which is a lot) I put on some music and read or write or sometimes I play the piano (with headphones on).

I find the easiest way to get things done in the evenings is to not stop.
So I put DS to bed, and then I don't sit down at all. I'm like a shark. I need to keep swimming or I die. If I sit down and pick up my phone/iPad then that's it, I'm done for the evening. If I go straight from DS bedtime into an activity, so a work out, washing up, painting, playing the piano then I can just get on and enjoy the activity. It's the "I'll just take five minutes and sit down first," that kills my motivation.

NoTractors I'm loving this! I'm starting to think there are loads of things I can try and that advance setting the scene could really help. Thank you :-)

My evenings also get lost in a sea of Pinterest, Instagram and MN.

Ive ordered a cross stitch kit (never tried ot before) for a lovely print to frame for a friend when her baby arrives - so I have 20 weeks to finish it!

Deadlines really do help.

Could you do the 30 Day shred Dvd? At least then you have a target - you have to commit those thirty days and whilst its only short bursts of activity it still is something different?

Limit the time the Internet runs for. You can use locks like for children which bars the Internet between certain times. Without internet I get off my bum, otherwise I can't seem to shift the iPad.

I deleted Instagram and the Facebook app from my phone for this very reason!!

I'm planning some home decor and digging out tapestry I started years ago!!

OP, I don't have children but manage to waste my evenings anyway so I'm not sure if this is realistic/helpful for you, but here goes anyway: when I wanted to learn a language, I would get into work 10-15 minutes early every day, sit in the canteen (i.e. away from my email/colleagues) and study. At the appropriate time, I put my papers away, and went down to my desk. Or (bit harder), 10-15 minutes at the end of the day, which I liked because it meant that when I left the office and got on a train, it was slightly past rush hour.

I completely get that the "how" is a problem.

I'm the same, willow - I have tons of things I could be doing but I sit all night on Twitter. I'm loving Tractor's idea. Also with knitting and crochet, you can find something called a 'knit along' where everyone on a website (like Ravelry or Interweave) all starts the same pattern and swops pics as it goes along - that might give you a bit of motivation?

Essentialhummus thank you for understanding the "how" as a problem!
Consensus on here seems to be that internet/ devices are the enemy of evening productivity. Also Cardiff I liked your shark analogy! I do tend to stop and breathe a sigh of relief "for five minutes" while mindlessly surfing facebook, instagram, blogs etc and then its 2 hours later and I'm needing to go to bed myself, having done precisely nothing.

I love this thread, because I'm the same. I start out thinking 'I'll do this, and this tonight' and then like yesterday end up randomly watching Ultimate Fighting Champion reaction videos on YouTube till midnight... Not even matches, but reaction videos...

I'll be following these tips too!

It's hard to not flop after the kids go to bed! You've been on the go all day.
Do a little bit of exercise as soon as you put the kids to bed (davinas new one is good. It's got short 7 minute sessions that you can do on their own or combine for longer sessions).
That will re-energise you. Then give yourself 20mins to spend on something you want to do.

Agree with poster who said it is fatal once you sit down in the evening!!

Having said that, I think reverse psychology often works well, so perhaps op, you could give yourself permission to flop and not do anything say 3 nights a week, leaving you with two nights a week when you ring-fence some time for your own projects?

Or just start with one night a week?

I like EssentialHummus's idea of language learning 10 mins a day too. Small steps done regularly adding up to much larger tracts of time... .

I have the same problem as you, Willow. Tons of interests/ projects and even a large craft room yet the evenings are wasted web surfing & watching TV.

One thing that has helped lately is listening to audio books. I cannot sit in silence but having a good detective novel on in the background entertains but leaves my hands free.
I signed up for Audible and while pricey it has been worth it. I'm sure there are free sources of audiobook downloads. Played via smartphone they can travel round the house with you.

If you find your phone distracting, there's an app called Forest. You set it off to grow a tree & if you look at your phone in that time the tree dies :(

As for the 'how'. Well. When 8pm arrives, you're knackered, right? So you sit. The idea of picking up something new & using your brain is quite daunting. Break it down a bit by only crafting for half an hour. You'll be amazed by how much you can get done in a week by just doing tiny bits at a time. If you're enjoying yourself & want to carry on after your half hour is up then there's nothing to stop you!

Marking place because this is me too! Evenings are time when I could theoretically do stuff, but don't.

Oh, the audiobook suggestion above is a great one. Seconded.

I'm so glad I'm not alone with this issue! I have this nagging sense of failure all the time about being so lame about getting any little thing done that I set myself. Slimming that's a good suggestion to actively permit myself to slump on some evenings (I would probably be less likely to actually do it in that scenario, weirdly). Headagainstwall its more my laptop that's the problem than my phone, the forest app sounds like a brilliant idea though! Thanks for posting such brilliant suggestions everyone.

I'm the same Op! Work FT and see others doing so much more than me in the evenings- hobbies, going out and know it's about proper planning but always feel too tired to even do that :(
Small chunks, scheduled days and times and getting off internet seem to be sensible ways forward! i

I joined a sewing class so if nothing else I get some sewing done then. But increasing I do more during the week so I can get help with a later step.

How do people get time to do these activities when their partner just wants to veg out in front of the tv? I like sewing but obviously the machine is noisy and I don't have another room.

Is it possible to join a class or a club? Realise it's not so easy if you have to factor in childcare, but if you join a book group or writing group that meets once a month, you'll have a deadline by which you need to have read or written something.

Are you a morning person? Perhaps you could shift your internal clock so that you go to bed earlier and get up earlier to do your own thing in the morning before work etc?

This was my new year's resolution! I have got a tapestry kit, and do two or three threads a night, plus some evenings go out for a walk for 30 - 45 minutes, or use the exercise bike for 30 mins.

Almost everything I like watching on TV is set to record on series link, so I don't have to watch it when it is on (even if you only start 15 minutes later, and whizz through the adverts it feels like saving some time!!)

After dealing with bedtime stuff, making sandwiches for the next day, sometimes some work that I have brought home etc, sometimes it is just nice to watch crap tv though!!

I think television saps a lot of our creative energy.

Do you have catchup TV, so you can pause or come back to the programmes you want at the times you want? That way you can do your hobby when you're fresh and watch the latest episode of whatever when you need to chill.

I often prepare a cake and check it during the commercial breaks, or do sewing during a programme that only needs my ears (family loves XFactor and I keep them company).