DH eating habits/snoring

[Mrsw28]

So my DH and I decided that once the new year began we would cut down and make the effort to lose weight, I'm over 14 stone and he's over 18 stone. We had two weeks grace in the new year to eat all the bad food and psych ourselves up. We weighed ourselves and agreed to make an effort. I've cut down a lot, not crazy because I'm breastfeeding but I only eat breakfast lunch and dinner and have cut down on the desserts and bad choices. He has given up bread and beer but hasn't given up biscuits/snacking and instead of bread for lunch he is eating 300g or so of pasta. Last night he had a pint of orange juice with gin. I don't feel like he's making a lot of effort and I'm finding it hard going on my own. He knows this, I've told him many times before. I also feel quite betrayed that he isn't sticking to our pact.

Also, his snoring is horrendous. I'm kept awake a lot by it and I get nervous he'll wake the baby which makes me grumpy with him.

So, AIBU to think that he is being unfair and find that annoying?

LHReturns Out of interest I have a CPAP machine because I have sleep apnea. The machines have changed a LOT and they aren't "big CPAP machines" at all. This is mine: www.easybreathe.com/blog/good-reasons-need-auto-titrating-cpap-machine/

OP I get you're annoyed, but like others said, wait for the results first. He's burning a lot of calories but if he's not cut back then it won't help. Also, depending what diet you're using, you shouldn't just be eating 3 meals a day. You should be eating smaller meals more often in order to boost your metabolism.

Good luck!

Thank you Sykadelic, my ignorance and hope I didn't offend. Machine looks totally unobtrusive! I suffer from insomnia, so get very paranoid about anything that could invade my sleep, and my OHs snoring certainly did that for a while!

It was never the machine that was a problem for me, it was the mask. Made me very claustrophobis - not helped by the fact I had to have a full face mask.

Thanks for all the input. I don't think he has sleep apnoea, I think his weight isn't helping but I don't think he stops breathing in his sleep, he doesn't wake himself up, I have to keep telling him to roll over or change position to minimise the noise (only once or twice a night, I'm not that mean).

Diet-wise, I'm not following a diet plan. I was eating pretty much all day: toast & cereal for breakfast, biscuits with cups of tea, unbalanced lunch with more biscuits or cake, snacks in the afternoon, a large dinner, a whole bag of chocolates in the evening and more biscuits with tea, sometimes a pudding too. I basically ate all the time. So I thought that by sticking to breakfast, lunch and dinner I would be doing much better. Less food in must get results, right?

I have heard smaller, more frequent meals is better but I worry that I'd just end up eating too much.

I have heard smaller, more frequent meals is better but I worry that I'd just end up eating too much.

It works for some not for everyone. When I did a lot of weights I had 5/6 smaller meals a day. I didn't like it.

Sounds like you are doing it sensibly, just stick at it. He may lose some weight at first and then need to cut down further. He may also see you losing quicker and it might inspire him. Good luck

You don;t consciously wake up with sleep apnoea - but if he isn;t falling asleep during the day then you're probably right.

The diet which works is the one which works for you - find what works and stick to it. Some people like low carb, some like 5:2 etc if having three meals a day works then thats fine. I can have 5 small meals a day as I have insulin resistance and my insulin levels seem to be constantly up if I don;t give them a decent chance to come down for a while.

There's a few misconceptions about sleep apnea here that I feel the need to clarify.

Sleep apnea doesn't always mean you stop breathing completely. There are two "events" during sleep, apnea or hypopneas (airflow is significantly or partially reduced) and "hyperpnea" (the gasping when you try and breath again). Often when you wake to breath (or roll over) you only wake out of REM, not all the way, so you don't realise you're actually waking.

Hypopnea (what happens typically in my case) is when your airway collapses to a point where the air can barely pass through and it causes your airway to vibrate, hence the snoring. The reason this is just as bad as stopping altogether is because it's reducing the levels of oxygen in your blood which can result in all kinds of bad things, such as strokes and yes, even death. My oxygen saturation levels dipped below 88% (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxygen_saturation_%28medicine%29 ) during testing, and I slept like crap that particular day (although they stated I technically slept for about 7 hours or something like that).

I also didn't/don't fall asleep during the day. I was tired, but then I was always tired. I knew if I napped that I'd feel worse so if I started to get sleepy I'd get up and do something. Often I didn't bother telling DH I was sleepy so he wouldn't know if I was or not.

Also, oxygen deprivation can lower your metabolism which makes you gain weight. Gaining weight is bad for sleep apnea so you sleep worse, which makes you gain weight, which makes you sleep worse.... etc etc. He might be more tired than you think because for me, sugar helps me stay awake so I'd find myself with a big sweet craving.

Anyone who snores should be tested for sleep apnea, and if you don't snore but feel tired all the time, the same can be said. FWIW I don't snore anymore (well rarely, on a bad night I can snore through the mask). My CPAP isn't loud and doesn't keep DH awake. Nothing is harmed by getting him tested. If he doesn't you can look into different options for snoring relief (like those noses strips that don't help someone with sleep apnea because my nose is not the problem).

To be fair sykadelic, it is unusual to have sleep so oea with being sleepy during the day. The main test to decide whether to test you properly at our sleep clinic is the epworth sleep score - so if you have no sleepiness you wouldn't even get tested.

Kewcumber I think you're referring to the part where I think anyone who snores should be tested. It's a bit worrying to me that your clinic wouldn't test someone if they (possibly incorrectly) state they aren't tired during the day and that's simply because of my own experience with it.

I didn't think my "tiredness" was anything different to any other person who works a stressful job with a long commute. I might have a worse night at different times but as not all nights were as bad as the "bad ones" so I just assumed everyone felt the same as me during the "good days".

As it turns out, I was always tired/fatigued and that's based on more knowledge since being diagnosed and treated. I didn't sleep during the day because napping seemed to make it worse and I was worried about not being able to sleep at night, so you couldn't judge it based on how whether I napped during the day or not.

Also, there was little point talking about how tired I was unless I was more tired than "normal" (for me) so the spouse/friends/family might not be aware how tired they really are all the time so they're not in a position to judge/assess.

INteresting sykadelic but no certainly when I was tested which is probably 5+ years ago they wouldn't have put you in for a sleep study unless you scored a certain score or more on the epworth scale. nd this is a major London hospital sleep centre.

Hmm food for thought. He does fall asleep almost every day when he comes in from work. I put that down you in getting up at 4am and not going to bed until 10pm, and then our kids possibly disturbing his sleep. I'll see if he'll go to he GP.