To think it's impossible to 'child-proof' your house

[NorthernRosie]

I have a baby of 6 months and everything keeps telling me that I need to go round and childproof the house - but how on earth can you childproof a whole house?

I have a small house and don't have enough storage and cupboards to put EVERYTHING that could be slightly dangerous on a top shelf.

Do I need to replace our pull down shutter blinds in living room? And what about our expensive floor standing speakers - do I have to replace those? And get our DVD / stereo boxed in? I can't afford all that on maternity leave!!!

What did you do?

Toddlers are fascinated by toilets. You can very quickly find them putting an iPhone, whole toilet roll or kitten into the bowl.

"... long enough to cause themselves harm ..."

If you've bleached, that's about nine seconds. Or, to put it another way, a big sneezing fit.

We have a bolt on the outside of the bathroom door. It is high enough to thwart the toddler but low enough to permit access for his older, potty-trained brothers. The lock on the inside of the bathroom on the other hand is only just within my reach.

No glass mirrors?! Anywhere in the house?!

Surely that's a bit extreme...

I don't understand why a small child would be left alone long enough to do huge damage to them selves

It only takes seconds for 'safe' to become 'unsafe'. Attention can wander in the face of the hundred and one little distractions that make up daily life. People need to use the loo, answer the door/phone, make dinner, see to other children, and so on. Accidents can happen even in the face of direct supervision.

This is why people take steps to prevent accidents such as stairgates, cupboard locks, and preventing access to things that are dangerous.

I said no, it worked for me

Yes dear. It worked for me too, most of the time, because I had a child who responded to it. I know plenty of children who are more strictly parented than mine who are much higher risk. Because children aren't clones.

However I also sensibly minimised risk. There is always a first time that a child does something you thought they wouldn't or couldn't.

Just popped back to point out two things:

Having a toddler that 'seeks and destroys' isn't 'bad' behaviour. some toddlers are just more interested in exploring than others, it's just a personality thing.

The age at which your child starts walking makes a big difference to this. I'm considered really strict by mostly everyone but my twins started walking at 10 months. It's just not possible to have the same kind of conversation with a 10 month old as with an 18 month old.

By the way to give any posters with 'seek and destroy' toddlers hope, my DS is 8 yo now and beautifully behaved - although still brimming with energy.

We put out floor standing speakers away and they came out finall after last of 3 kids turned 3!!!

Hmmmm

Stair gates (top and bottom)
Fire guard
We had some bookshelves with uber sharp corners and put corner covers on them (those came in VERY handy)
Hazardous materials out of reach
Same with sharp objects/ pens/ marker pens
Finger guards on inside of some frames (DC2 went through a phase of slamming doors without looking where DC1's fingers were and vice versa)
Breakable objects out of reach (more for their safety than value)
Valuable items out of reach. (A friend left a jewellery box on her bedside table, noticed it missing a few days later. Their toddler had a habit of putting random things in bins. The bins had been emptied and bin men had been. It wasn't a good day for my dear friend).

I didn't bother with cupboard locks, plug covers or toilet lid locks with DC1.
Plug locks arrived with DC2 when I caught said child licking a plug socket.

Let me put it like this. You can actually take a shower/ take your eyes off them for a second if you have a reasonable/ sensible level of proofing.

Oh and one other Thing. Tether the furniture that could topple. They will try and climb it

A genius child proofing technique used by my dad wen I was little was to take off the door handles and turn them upside down so little hands couldn't open doors try didn't want us to. Worked like a charm and saved money on stair gates, but there was an interesting incident with a babysitter they forgot to tell!

From my experience girls seem to be less inquisitive than boys.

Hahahahahaha. You've not met my two.

DD (19 months) has perfected the "You're RUINING my LIFE" wail when told No (but she carries on doing it too, or tries again a minute later). She's also a climber. DS was much more cautious.

I didn't have a stair gate because my stairs go up a few steps and then there is a mini-landing and then they go up again. My son did fall down twice but he was fine and older - eg about 3 or 4. He was also in a cot for a longer than average time so I didn't need to worry about him getting out of bed and wandering off and falling down the stairs (even when he got a bed just before he was 3 it took him a few days to work out he could just get out!)

I put bleach etc in a high cupboard and moved all the DVDs/videos because he used to push them off the shelves - and yes I moved the speakers too. He didn't post things in the video recorder so that was ok. And he didn't pull things out of the kitchen cupboards either so I didn't need cupboard locks. We did cover sockets and put the ornaments away for a few years.

But all kids are different, some are a lot more curious and accident-prone! The only time my son has been to A&E was when he was 3 and had pushed a drinking straw up his nose at nursery (a short bit).

vigilence and gate across the doorway.
no sharp things left in toddler reach.
no medications in the living room.

that's about it.

Mostly it's teaching them to not do things.
(still can't get them to leave the printer alone, though!)

For DC1, we did a reasonable amount of child proofing (cupboard locks in kitchen, door wedges to stop doors being slammed on fingers, stair gates). By the time DC2 reached that stage, we were living in a building site house undergoing refurbishment, with steps between every single room (literally - there are no 2 rooms at the same level anywhere) so we went for very selective childproofing. We didn't do the kitchen cupboards (TBH mainly because it was the only room we had redone and drilling holes in our lovely new cupboards would have made me cry) but had stair gates on the kitchen door and one at the top of the top stairs, and one on the kitchen. That, IIRC, was about it - stuff moved if/when she was fascinated by it. I do know that she is not as "seek and destroy" as some DC, though.

DD1 defeated the child locks very very quickly. I moved the cleaning stuff on top on the bookcases, and also onto a kitchen shelf. The cereals then went under the kitchen sink. We still do this now and DD1 is 4.

I was lucky - the son that walked at 10mo was the biddable, non-investigative one. The one that walked at 13mo is of the "seek and destroy" variety. SO SO glad it was that way round!

I don't think it's always a great plan to completely childproof a house anyway; I know that children of a very young age don't always listen (believe me, I do know! DS2 doesn't listen) but if you want to be able to take them to other people's homes, then you have to just keep trying, telling them "NO!" etc.

My dad wasn't very impressed at my inability to control DS2 at 18mo - Ds1 had been so good, that he just expected DS2 to be the same, and initially refused to move stuff when we stayed at his house - but after a couple of days, he moved stuff out the way. It's not like I wasn't trying, I really really was - Ds2 was just stubborn and liked to investigate stuff (still is and does) and Dad realised that he was going to have to give in and move stuff or lose it.

We put catches on all the drawers they can reach - along with all the obvious safety precautions, everything not safe to throw around is put in storage or out of reach, it was the easier option to constantly taking things off lo and the following meltdown - he used to get very attached things, he cried his eyes out when he couldn't find one of my make up sponges he'd taken for his own and dubbed 'cheese'.

I've had three early walkers / climbers who have completely destroyed my house. I've babyproofed to an extent, mainly by putting breakable stuff up high. By I also leave unbreakable stuff (DVDSs, logs for the fire, plastic cups, tins of food) in low cupboards or out on low shelves so they can pull it out to their heart's content. It does get annoying putting it all back time and time again but it does give them something to explore and keeps them away from the really damaging stuff. I haven't really bothered with stairgates as I'm not often out of the room long enough for them to get up there.

I do try to keep doors shut so at least the danger is contained.

I've cut all my blind cords a the bottom. I found even the safety devices didn't make them safe when I found my son with his head between the cord and the wall even when it was wound up high. If i had my time again I wouldn't have any blinds with any cords anywhere in the house. I think they're among the most dangerous things in a house with children in it.

Oh, and don't forget children can reach above their heads. If you put something on the table, put it in the middle, not on the edge. And. Ale sure pan handles face away from the edge where they can't be pulled down.

It's probably something you'll do gradually as your baby gets older and moves through the different stages. When your DC starts to crawl, it will give him/her access to all kinds of interesting places.

We got stair gates and placed them at the top and bottom of the stairs. However, a friend told me that he had to remove his stair gates as his DD somehow mastered opening them . So he decided it was safer to teach her to proceed up and down the stairs safely. That's another thing to consider - not all kids are the same.

In the kitchen we got locks for all the lower presses. We were particularly concerned about the press with bleach and cleaning sprays but also didn't want DC to have access to plates and glasses etc. The higher presses didn't matter as DC couldn't reach them. We keep all medication in a high press.

We removed vases/photo frames/candle holders from the lower shelves in the sitting room cabinet and moved them to higher shelves.

We moved a plant when we discovered DC strewing earth and stones all over the carpet and eating some too.

Based on stories I've heard from other mums, it's probably a good idea to keep your make up and nail varnish out of reach in your bedroom or bathroom.

I don't know if it's possible to childproof your home 100%. A friend's child cracked their TV screen when she was 'fixing it' with a Handy Manny toy hammer.

Please read this and lock kitchen cabinet that contains cleaning products. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/children/11219328/Parents-warned-over-laundry-capsule-poisoning-risks.html

Also medicine out of reach. Blinds cables are dangerous you don't need to take them down but read this www.rospa.com/campaigns-fundraising/current/blind-cord/
It seems to me in your op that you are thinking about objects that might get damaged by your toddler as opposed to what your toddler might get hurt by.

I think it's worth upgrading your electric fuse box to the modern sort. Any sort of electrical problem should mean the circuit is broken and the switch flips up before anyone can get electrocuted. Think this is a good idea if kids accidentally spill liquids near electrical items. Older style fuse boxes may not do this.

I found the best way sometimes is to let them learn why they can't do some things. For instance the oven, bath tap and radiators get hot. If they are near them and the appliance is not red hot, I'd warn them and let Them touch it. enough to scare them but not hurt them. Likewise falling off the sofa onto cushions etc.

Don't rely on stair gates or play pens a determined toddler will figure out a way to escape. You just got to develop eyes in the back of your head!

The best way to child proof is to do nothing apart from stair gate, door stops and cupboard under the sink then place them on surveillance and act accordingly.

They will always find something you have not proofed. The trick is to work out what actually is going to kill them before it does and remove / proof each hazard as it becomes the most exciting thing in the world before you loose your sanity.

Yesterday after a week of saucepans being gleefully being given to me on the sofa, I cracked and put locks on that cupboard too. So this morning, DS attacked the bin and pulled it over. So that will be getting a lock too as I've reached my limits of devastation somewhat after a recent trip to A & E.

The TV was moved some months ago, after a sustained series of attacks involving cutlery. I think any one with expensive speakers and small children is insane.

Our daughter was fairly sensible.

Have you got an IKEA nearby? They sold useful child-proofing kits
www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/categories/departments/childrens_ikea/16249/
I can't see the things that you stick over plug sockets (v important).
It is worth joining Freecycle/Freegle (as these are the sorts of bits and bobs that just accumulate/get thrown away). We asked for a playpen as a "baby present" as we have pets in the house too. If you have the room I guess you could start popping your speakers in one during the day.

Anyway you have a good 6-9 months before you need to worry.

Figure out which rooms your child will be going into and make those safe. Get into the habit of closing the doors of the others. We put a latch/bolt on the bathroom at adult shoulder height to restrict access and lock-ins and put a stairgate between the lounge and kitchen so that the child is only allowed in the kitchen with an adult there too. Sort out window locks too (so an open window can't be pushed wide open) and a fireguard that you can clip to the wall.

Oh and try to buy paint/wallpaper that is wipeable next time you decorate

Also look at chests of drawers (you can get ties that secure them to the wall at the back www.amazon.co.uk/Mommys-Helper-Furniture-Brackets-Pack/dp/B00081MHJI). I seem to remember there were a few nasty accidents reported in the press of kids crushed under a taller chest or wardrobe.

These children that do what they're told - do they understand things very young? Or maybe mine is a bit delayed? Genuine question, it's my only child.

He started being able to climb onto the sofa and from there onto a table with a lamp on it when he was about 10 months old (still can't walk). I repeatedly said no and moved him away but I don't think he was capable of understanding me or remembering. I was forced to just move the lamp.

Seriously, how do you tell a tot what to do? Are some just smarter and more obedient? I suppose they must be.

These children that do what they're told - do they understand things very young? Or maybe mine is a bit delayed? Genuine question, it's my only child.

He started being able to climb onto the sofa and from there onto a table with a lamp on it when he was about 10 months old (still can't walk). I repeatedly said no and moved him away but I don't think he was capable of understanding me or remembering. I was forced to just move the lamp.

Seriously, how do you tell a tot what to do? Are some just smarter and more obedient? I suppose they must be.

I had a young sofa climber. I feel your pain. Your son is normal. Not delayed in the slightest.

Anyone who tells you their child of that age is smarter or more obedient because they do as they are told is either a liar or an arse. Its nothing to do with being more intelligent or you being a bad parent.

Kids are kids and will do what they want because they can and that's about the long and short of it. They are a force of nature that can only be contained not controlled. You either get one who is cautious or one of the seek and destroy nature and there ain't much you can do about it but survive and stop them killing themselves, until they are older.