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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think my friend should not get a staff

76 replies

Tamponlady · 15/01/2016 20:29

My friend had a boxer for about 10 years she wasn't working when she got him and towards the end she became a childminder

The dog died a few months ago she has now told me she is getting a staff now she is a proper dog person and will get dog on a course and what not what i am worried about is this may effect her buniness I think a lot of people wouldn't leave there child with somone who has a staff and her house is not very big

She is so nice and a fab childminder I don't want her to loose buniness I think her current parents won't mind but this may put off new parents I think the boxer was a Diffrent kettle of fish

OP posts:
ClaraSilver · 15/01/2016 22:31

I think YABU. You have said that she is a responsible dog owner and that her current parents won't mind so it really is up to her. Personally, I'd have been very happy to let my child go to a CM with a dog and would actually prefer a stuffy to a boxer, every boxer I've met has been a bit nuts Wink Also means that the children and dog will probably get a good walk in the park every day too.

I'm sure I read somewhere that the most aggressive breed of dog is the Dachshund Shock

hookiewookie29 · 15/01/2016 22:35

I'm a Childminder. And I had a Staffie. She was brilliant with the kids and very protective of them. She had her own area in the garden and her own space in the house. She did mix with the children but was never left alone with them, and the children were taught to respect her and be nice.
Any dog is capable of attacking a child/adult,no matter how big or what breed they are,not just Staffies.

TracyBarlow · 15/01/2016 22:38

I don't know anyone among my friends who would send their child to a childminder who had a Staffie.

Potential clients don't have a clue whether she is a good dog owner, or wether the dog is a good one, they will be out off by a Staffie and will not care a jot that they are 'discriminating' against a breed Hmm

Headmelt · 15/01/2016 22:41

I wouldn't send my dc to a child minder with a dog present unless the dog(s) was/were in a secured area away from the children. It is a personal choice so maybe some parents won't mind.

Alicewasinwonderland · 15/01/2016 22:50

I would never send my kid to a CM who has a staffie.

I agree the the dogs can be absolutely lovely, and the problems are caused by bad owners. That's the issue here: how can I know what kind of dog owner the CM is? I would not take the risk. Trusting a strangers dog with your baby is madness.

munkisocks · 15/01/2016 22:53

Thought you were meaning a staff like gandalf! You shall not pass!

She's willing to put it on a course so I'd leave her be. Parents can make up their own minds but any dog can snap.

rockabella · 15/01/2016 22:55

Your friend could do various training schemes/get a behavioural report done for prospective parents to see. I know people who have done this as they have dogs/children in the same home as a similar idea.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 15/01/2016 22:55

Provided the dog is secure, well cared for and trained, I'd be fine with it.

People will dismiss a cm with a dog regardless of breed.

Incidentally, I grew up with a Staffie and had no issues. My MIL has a border collie that's batshit. I'm more biased toward the latter.

MrTiddlestheFatCat · 15/01/2016 22:58

I absolutely love staffies, but they are very boisterous and high energy, and could hurt a child just by trying to play ime.

I would be quite happy for my child to go to a cm with one, but I would expect the dog to be kept perhaps in a separate, secure room whilst she is working, and allow controlled and calm interactions. I agree with other posters that it would be a good way for children to interact with dogs, as long as it was properly managed.

DickDewy · 15/01/2016 22:59

I wouldn't want a child minded that had a staff, sorry, but there it is.

And will no-one think of the poor bunnies?

tabulahrasa · 15/01/2016 23:02

"Potential clients don't have a clue whether she is a good dog owner"

"That's the issue here: how can I know what kind of dog owner the CM is?"

Um, if you don't trust someone to look after a dog, why the hell are you leaving your child with them?...

Lurkedforever1 · 15/01/2016 23:06

Oh ffs, if someone has a silly fear of dogs they'll object to a boxer as much as a staff. And if they think staffs are more likely to harm a child they're probably stupid cunts anyway so no loss.

Alicewasinwonderland · 15/01/2016 23:10

tabulahrasa

Um... as someone who has a couple of big dogs myself, I can tell you that you treat your dogs in a very different way than you treat your children. One of the dangers is someone treating her dog as a child, forgetting that it's a wild animal who must know its exact place in the house, and will not be given the impression that it's the dominant one.

As long as they are safe, I am happy if the CV is "too nice" with my kids. I don't really someone trying to act like a cartoon army sergeant.

abbsismyhero · 15/01/2016 23:11

i do have concerns about staffs as a breed people breed dogs for temperament etc and some breed certain staffs for viciousness what if she bought one of those by mistake? my uncle worked overseas training dogs for awhile he always said this was the main reason for never getting a white alsatian (his wife wanted one) they are only bred for colour not temperment

in an ideal world dogs would be bred for their gentle nature raised by experienced breeders and sold to responsible owners

we do not live in an ideal world

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 15/01/2016 23:11

YANBU OP. There is no way I'd send my DCs to a childminder with a Staffie. I grew up with one. He bit my brother once, and twice bit another boy who was trying to kiss me - none was particularly nasty but I wouldn't chance it. He also chased sheep and chickens if he ever managed to escape.

In his older age he became very grumpy. He would groups at my dad and friends. I slept with him on my bed as a teenager, but he got very growly if I got out and back in again.

I loved my dog but I wouldn't have one as an adult with my own DCs.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 15/01/2016 23:12

Oh, he was also aggressive towards other dogs too.

Lightbulbon · 15/01/2016 23:14

I wouldn't use a cm with those kind of dogs.

rockabella · 15/01/2016 23:20

absismyhero

A reputable breeder, with kennel club registered pups, would only breed a staffie for temperment etc. Pure bred staffies are re-knowned for being the ideal family, child friendly dog. It's the backyard and idiot breeds who just do it for a profit, introducing other dogs into the mix so even if the dog looks like a staffy it might not be.

But the lady in question sounds very responsible and I don't doubt she would do her research before getting another dog.

tabulahrasa · 15/01/2016 23:21

" I can tell you that you treat your dogs in a very different way than you treat your children"

I'm a dog owner, a large dog...and yes I am aware that dogs and children are very different.

But if someone has so little trust in a childminder that they don't think they can look after a dog properly or keep their child safe from a dog...that isn't a childminder they should be using, whether they have a dog or not.

hownottofuckup · 15/01/2016 23:22

'Lock jaw' and 'Nanny Dog' are both myths.

I don't think I'd use a CM with any sort of dog and I do love dogs.

Although if you trusted someone enough to look after your child presumably you'd trust them to cafe for a dog appropriately?
I still wouldn't though!

YolandiFuckinVisser · 15/01/2016 23:24

All the childminders I have ever used have had dogs, some have also kept cats, rabbits, guinea pigs & chickens. My current cm has 3 jack Russell, my least favourite dog. However, the dogs are treated as dogs (not furry babies) and do not roam the house while children are there. During holidays they do dog walking as an activity & older children are allowed to hold the leads. This is very popular among the children & good for responsibility etc, familiarity & respect for animals.

As far as staffing are concerned, I personally would prefer this type over any other in this situation (my dogs are staff crosses obviously biased). More concerned by the jacks & labs tbh.

eleanoralice1 · 15/01/2016 23:38

Staffs are wonderful, we have two and they are just the most caring, sweet things ever. Wonderful with our little boy, although they are never left alone. I would be more worried about those awful small yappy dogs.

abbsismyhero · 15/01/2016 23:39

sorry i don't know the childminder personally so ive no idea if she would get a reputable dog or a facebook dog and to be fair if you're checking out a childminder you want to check them out not ask is your dog KC registered where will your dog be during the day? what if your dog does x or y how do you plan to handle that? etc etc etc

my thoughts would be childminder with a dog? NEXT! ive nothing against dogs but i dont know if they are irresponsible owners they could be the best childminder and a shite dog owner so i would not risk it my children are too precious to me

ValiantMouse · 16/01/2016 00:44

No dog can lock its jaws. It's utter bullshit and I wish people would stop spreading it around.

I'd have no problem with it as long as the dog was properly socialised and trained. Better a properly trained Staffy than an out of control mutt.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/01/2016 10:41

it's a wild animal who must know its exact place in the house

No, dogs are domesticated animals.

I was happy to use three different CMs who all had dogs is because I was looking for a family-type setting in a normal home. Dogs are a normal part of many families.

But then my first CM also used to take the DC in her care to visit the old people in hospital so maybe I was a very lax mother indeed Grin

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