To issue an ultimatum re: snoring?

[CowPatRoberts]

Partner is great generally- could be a bit more proactive but then again so could I. He's always snored but it's gotten louder and louder as time goes on and I'm now at the point where I can hear him through my ear plugs. I poke/speak to him and he stops...for approximately 15 seconds, then starts up again.

He's aware of the issue obviously, but whereas I've researched and purchased various things to help myself sleep through it he isn't bothered in the slightest. He apologises, but that's as far as it goes. Last night I had 3 hours sleep and when he woke up HE was grumpy because "I kept waking him up and he was knackered".

Feel like I'm too tired to respond normally and there's a very good chance I'm overreacting, but at the moment I would do anything for a good nights sleep.

WIBU to issue an ultimatum that until he starts taking responsibility for the snoring himself, then we'll alternately sleep on the sofa? Until I get chance to purchase a new duvet (been meaning to get a nice one for ages to replace my current basic one) I was thinking that whoever is on the sofa that night gets the duvet whereas the person who keeps the bed can use a collection of our many throws and blankets (which are more than adequate).

Is this fair? Am I mental? Should I just start sleeping in the office loo at lunchtime?

Thanks in advance.

I used to be in tears of frustration at my husband's snoring!

The only things that improved it were weight loss, quitting smoking and not boozing too much. All things that HE has to decide to do unfortunately. Could you go on a New Year health kick together to encourage him perhaps?

Good luck! We all feel your pain!

My sympathy,OP, my DP snores like you wouldn't believe. (Actually,you probably would ) Nothing worked to cut the noise down,until he bought something called a snore wizard,from Amazon. Its a plastic gumshield that fits on the lower teeth. It pushes the lower jaw out just a little,which opens the airwaves. It cuts down the noise and was manageable for me if I used earplugs instead.

But my god,sleeping with a snorer really grinds you down. Sleep deprivation is used for torture in some countries. I live separately from DP now(whole thread just by itself) but when I stay over at weekends,I sleep in a separate room.

We used to go away for weekends, but after the moving out and separate rooms I got used to a silent bedroom,so mini breaks weren't enjoyable for me,because it just meant I wouldn't be getting any sleep. We do day trips now

Get him to try the snore wizard. It takes a bit of getting used to,obviously it doesn't feel natural at first. Keep on with the earplugs. Or record him sleeping and go to a hypnotist and get them to train you to ignore the noise. Or,my favourite solution,sleep apart! Good luck.

• earplugs as well, not instead

I made my DH go to the doctors (I burst into tears and begged him because I was so tired!) Turns out he has sleep apnoea. There's no way I could have carried on with it the way it was. I can truly believe that people end up divorcing because of it. For me it was that DH was putting his embarrassment above my distress at lack of sleep. I'm glad he did the right thing.

We've slept in separate rooms since I was pregnant with our first child - 9ish years now. I could handle the broken nights before that, just. I had zero tolerance after that. He's tried losing weight, cutting down on dairy, reducing alcohol, no smoking, surgery to remove polyps in his nasal passages. Nothing has worked. I've been encouraging him to go to a sleep clinic for ages. My uncle has a CPAP mask and it was so much better for them both. I worry about the strain on his heart, his tiredness levels and it makes staying with friends and holidays awkward but I've also started to like my own space...

Dh got some breath right strips when his snoring got too much for me.
His has improved since he's now the at home parent and I think his was a combination of exhaustion, weight, and his nose. We'll see, he says he's going back to work this year.

YABVU

'we'll alternately sleep on the sofa'

Sod that. He's the one selfishly refusing to address the issue so he should be the one to take up permanent residency on the sofa till he rethinks his position.

I second the above poster.

Why should you sleep on the sofa (unless you like doing so)??

He's the one causing the problem and refusing to take even the most basic steps to sort it.