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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit sad for DD (lighthearted)

25 replies

jellypopmummy · 14/01/2016 11:15

My DD is in P1, and has now been invited to a few classmates birthday parties (never really happened in nursery and it's only really been family parties that she has gone to). She is now very excited at the prospect of having her birthday party. Unfortunately her birthday falls smack bang in the middle of summer break which means the chances of her being in a position to really have one is slim due to holidays and trying to get invites out to people etc. My DH is a SAHD so he does the school run, but doesn't overly socialize with the mums at the school, just passing hellos and small talk, and there are a few 'cliques' of mums (for lack of a better word) who stick to their own groups. I do the run when working from home, but have only really got as far as head nods and hellos.

I guess I feel a little sad that she sees her classmates having parties and getting presents, she keeps saying who she is inviting to hers and she gets a bit sad when we explain that due to when her birthday is it will be a bit harder to get all her classmates to come along.

AIBU to feel this way, even if I suppose it saves money on a huge party.

OP posts:
ilove · 14/01/2016 11:17

Have it the week before they break up?

Provencalroseparadox · 14/01/2016 11:17

My DD's birthday is in August. We always have a special family day on her actual birthday then I organise her party for September when everyone is back

Houseworkavoider · 14/01/2016 11:19

Maybe do her party in September?
My dd has had party's in August and we've had good turn outs.
I think the children like to meet up with each other in the holidays.

MissLanaBanana · 14/01/2016 11:19

I've done birthday parties in the middle of August and the turnout was the same as ones we've attended in term time!parents commented on how it was nice for their Dc to see their friends in the long break.

TeenAndTween · 14/01/2016 11:20

Either hold party early, last weekend of summer term (my preference)
or hold party late 2 weeks in to September term, handing out invitation on second day back (not first as they will be lost in the confusion).

Also, as people respond, make sure you write their contact details down against a class list so you get to 'know' more people and can contact them ad hoc later.

MrsJayy · 14/01/2016 11:20

Dds birthday was always in the Easter holidays granted not as many folk go away at Easter but she had a class party in p1 kids came was fine organise it and they will come

Seeline · 14/01/2016 11:20

My DDs birthday is always during the summer holidays, but we always had her party at the end of term when she was little, with just a family celebration on her birthday.
It got easier as she got older with fewer children involved - usually just close friends whose holiday plans we knew about.
Last year her birthday fell during Guide camp, which made it much easier for me - just a huge cake Grin

biboergosum · 14/01/2016 11:21

Some kids have a party at a totally different time, I know one child who has her party second week in September (August birthday) and one who has a Christmas birthday, but does his party in March.

Bit like the Queen, have an official and a real birthday, works well, the kids get two birthdays and people are there for the party.

HippyChickMama · 14/01/2016 11:22

Ds's birthday is in August, I just send out invitations a few weeks before they break up from school. It's never been a problem, he's always had a party on the weekend nearest to his birthday.

AnnaMarlowe · 14/01/2016 11:23

As everyone else says just make her party in term time. I know several people who do this.

Original poster
jellypopmummy · 14/01/2016 11:23

Great suggestions, I'll have a look into doing it when they go back in August as it's only a few weeks after her B-day, I know there is a Facebook group some of the parents use so I will see what I can do. Although she will think she is the bloody queen with 2 birthdays.

OP posts:
itsmine · 14/01/2016 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 14/01/2016 11:34

Meh it works for the queen Grin make it the weekend they go back

anotherdayanothersquabble · 14/01/2016 11:34

My summer born ends up with about 5 parties!!

Rachel0Greep · 14/01/2016 11:36

One of my nieces has her birthday during school holidays, so they do exactly as suggested upthread, have a nice day just with siblings and parents, on the day, then friends party when school resumes.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 14/01/2016 11:57

My twins birthday is on Sunday.

No one wants a party this close to Christmas, before January payday and for TWO children! This is why we have the party in early Feb.

Although I am considering summertime instead.

drspouse · 14/01/2016 12:06

Our DS' birthday is over the Christmas break so we have to assess people's availability in November; I know a friend with a September birthday child holds the party as soon as they go back to school but this means sending out invitations in July.

We might start holding the party later in January but it does mean it gets it out of the way before school term gets busy plus if we hold it on the weekend before the schools go back, regular Saturday activities haven't started up yet.

Jw35 · 14/01/2016 12:23

My dd is 22nd December I'll be doing her parties the first week of December! Why can't you do one a couple of weeks before term ends? You could also consider a half birthday in the winter term? A party doesn't have to be on your birthday!

BertrandRussell · 14/01/2016 12:27

"there are a few 'cliques' of mums (for lack of a better word) who stick to their own groups"

I think the words you are looking for is "groups of friends".........

Have her party either on the last Saturday of term, or the first Saturday of the new term.
Sorted.

Katenka · 14/01/2016 12:27

Ds friend has a birthday near Christmas it's usually in the holidays. His parties are in January or the week before they break up.

If it's before she gives plenty of notice as Christmas is so busy. Never had a problem with people not coming

BabyGanoush · 14/01/2016 12:30

just move it to term time

easy

I know a boy whose birthday is on 26 December, he has his birthday parties in May. And why not?

spiderlight · 14/01/2016 12:36

Try to connect with some of the mums on FB. I was wary of it at first, as we were new to the area and I'm very shy and perceived them as cliquey, but it's made a big difference to my only child's social life and the 'cliques' turn out to be groups of old school friends/cousins/sisters-in-law/mums who know each other through having older kids further up the school. A party in early September will hopefully help to cement friendships for the coming year but try to keep in touch with her friends over the summer as well if you can.

Jux · 14/01/2016 12:48

DD has the same problem. When your dd is a bit older and has firmer friendships, then it's easier to organise a party during the summer hols. Until then, she can have a public birthday in July inviting people from school, and a family birthday on the right day. If the Queen can have two, then so can dd!

redskybynight · 14/01/2016 12:48

I'd also suggest moving it to term time.

Or simply inviting way more children than you want on the basis that some won't be able to make it.

My DD's best friend's birthday is in mid August (England so in middle of our summer holiday). She always manages a decent crowd for her party and it's quite nice for them to catch up with all their friends in the middle of the holidays.

CaptainCrunch · 14/01/2016 12:52

Ds is bang in the middle of summer holidays so always had it last week of term, it's really no big deal.

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