to ask someone to move their child out of my plane seat

[kipperssippers]

more of a WWYD then AIBU but...
i booked the seat by the window as i always do and when i got to my seat a child around 8 was in my seat with her mum beside her.
When i got there i told the mother that the window seat is my seat and she said her child wanted the window seat to look out, i then replied then you should of booked one.
I didnt want to cause a scene but the women made out i'm an arsehole for asking her kid to move as she had never been on a flight and wanted to look outside.
I did give in and stayed pissed off for 7 hours in my non window seat.

what would you of done in this situation?

Perhaps the mother should have prebooked the seat her child wanted. I don't consider myself petty for having that view.

Oh yaaay! It's the mother of Audacity Baby back to make another thread impossible to drag myself away from

There might be a dripfeedy reason for the OP wanting that seat. But it hadn't been revealed when I wrote my response expat.

I would have asked the cabin crew to assist in ensuring the 3 of us were seated in the seats stated on our boarding passes.

If I'd booked and paid for it I'd be sitting in it.

Exit sums it up perfectly in 4 words.

If I'd paid extra to pick my seat, I would not have given it up. But I may let the child sit in it for an hour or so, but not for the entire flight.
You pay your money and book your choice of seat.
If you're a tight fucker, tough luck!

I'd have made the kid move and, if the mother would not move them, I'd have called a stewardess over to sort it out.

Want a window seat, then book one!

"Personally I don't feel that me booking a seat comes above a child's joy."

....Joy at looking at clouds for 7 hours . The mum could have walked her to one of the windows by the galley for a look out. And you can still see that you are taking off from the middle seat. I bet the novelty of the window wore off after about 2 minutes.

I was asked to swap so 2 friends could sit together (was in business for work). I deliberately booked the window seat so the steward/esses don't wake me up, so I said no...cue slamming the screen up and huffiness but tough titty. I booked it.

TheCats

Please please do tell your children that actually the world doesn't revolve around them as it comes as a hell of a shock to them when out in the world.

No I wouldn't have moved and of the mother had sworn at me I would have requested the stewardess warn her about her language.

They didn't ask nicely, and that would have made me fume too.

But if I was travelling alone, I would certainly have swapped, as I don't really care whether aisle or window, I don't spend a great deal of time looking out of the window because I have seen it before. This child hadn't, and was quite little really (8), and I know it's hard travelling with kids, so I'd not have pissed on her chips for the point of principle. I probably would have done as you did - pointed out she should have booked it, but moved anyway. I would have tried not to be pissed off about it for 7 hours, though!

Maybe you really do care whether aisle or window for some reason - you haven't said - and so that's why it's bothering you more.

If the 8-yr-old hadn't been on a plane before, I might charitably consider that it just hadn't occurred to the mother that it might be an issue when booking seats - parenting can surprise all of us sometimes, when we forget the obvious (i.e. kid will want to look out of window).

I would have smiled and politely insisted on my seat. The kid wouldn't have spent long looking out the window, it's mostly just clouds

Did this actually happen?

expat

My answer is what I would think and do. If other people don't want to do that, it is their choice, if you perceive my feelings to be worthy of a star and halo - that probably says more about you than me.

You can still look out of the window from the Middle seat?

I'd have said

"I booked that seat because I really wanted it. How do you know if I've ever flown before? But to be kind, I will let your child sit in that seat for take off and half an hour to enjoy the view and then I'd like it back please"

It's easy for the parent to book their child a seat. So no, I wouldn't have moved.

I book aisle seats and once I ended up in a window, the whole flight irritated me.

Fuck that!

I loathe flying, if I'd booked a specific seat I want to sit in it because I had booked it.

Nothing to do with wanting to piss on the chips of someone else , just because it's the seat I chose and I'm not moving .

Arsiness from the mother would have made me more determined to claim my seat back.

I thought you had to sit in the seat you are allocated, just in case the plane crashes of an emergency?

" It would just feel a bit petty to stop a child being able to really enjoy the excitement of flying on a point of principle."

I think you'll find it was the child's own mother who was "stopping them from being able to really enjoy the excitement of flying," if indeed that was the case.

My world does not revolve around other people's children or even, sometimes, my own.

The thing that would have got my back up is the presumptuousness... the fact that her child was already sat in your seat.

Just as children need to learn about the way to go about things; boundaries; other people's needs and wants; so tragically do some adults. So I would have refused simply on the premise of not rewarding fucking entitled behaviour TBH.

Ordinarily, I'd have taken my seat as normal and then I probably would have been inclined to offer the child my seat for an hour or so mid flight so she could look out, but emphatically not given the above.

I like to spread the love, not reinforce shite behaviour...

Personally I don't feel that me booking a seat comes above a child's joy. But you know I'm not a miserable twat

The child's joy is her mother's responsibility. She does not get to just grab the seat because she did not preplan.

'My seat. Fuck off.'

^^This.

I wouldn't have been as tolerant as you OP. The mother would have been told firmly "move your child as that is my seat thank you". If she refused I'd have spoken to cabin crew and insisted they move the child. I carry earphones and a selection of music on flights so any whining would have gone unnoticed by me. We booked seats last year and when we got to them a father and his child were seated in them as "we need the room at the front of the seats as he gets restless". Fuck right off. I hadn't booked premier seats with no-one on front of me for no reason! It turned out the mother and other child were sat across the aisle and they couldn't get seats together as they'd booked late. He wasn't happy at having to move though.

I fly a lot for work. My seat, I've pre-booked it. I don't give a flying fuck or a shiny shit about your child - your problem, you should have pre-booked too. If you'd asked nicely, I might have considered it, but not to be already in the seat. That would be a red rag to a bull to me.

I was flying long haul once, and the woman next to me (middle seat, I had aisle) moaned and moaned about wanting more room as her foot was bandaged and she needed to stretch out more. She asked repeatedly for an upgrade to business to give her more room, and the cabin crew were getting sick of her. I said, would it help to offer her my aisle seat? Cabin crew lady said yes, absolutely, and we will find you somewhere to sit in business, you don't want to move to a middle seat. Woman with bandaged leg was spitting mad.

LadyStoic - I agree with your first point about presumptuousness, that would have been a bit irritating.

Clam - yes, mum should have pre booked the seat, but she didn't. I just don't see the issue of window v aisle as a big issue, I don't think that agreeing to swap seats is my world revolving around someone else's child.

I might have asked the mum if she was aware that she could book a seat for her daughter, so that in future she doesn't run the risk of the daughter not getting the window seat if it is important to her.

a child's joy

Fucking hilarious.

As a cm I occasionally meet parents like this who assume the needs/wants of their child should trump everyone else's.

They have usually had a succession of nannies and cms and guess what they are always been given notice.

Bringing kids up to think they can have what they want when they want is very cruel really.