To be disheartened by dating site?

[Oldisthenewblack]

I joined Plenty Of Fish a couple of weeks ago, just to see what was 'out there' really. To say I'm not impressed so far is an understatement. The majority of the men don't put a great deal of information in their profile, many say "anything you want to know, ask!" which is really irritating. The ones who message me do that "hi, how are you?" thing or even worse "hi gorgeous". I'm so disheartened (yes, I know it's only been two weeks!). I'm not that fussed about meeting someone really, just wanted to put the feelers out as it were. I may retract my feelers.

Is it just PoF or are other sites pretty much the same? Any good experiences to share to give me hope?

OP - Any good experiences to share to give me hope?

First response - I have no experience of this kind of thing and this is a matter for which I am daily grateful. Sometimes it is SO reassuring to be past all this.

Helpful!

And can I just add, entirely randomly, that I've just been told for the umpteenth time that I look like Sue Perkins. Not by anyone on the site, by the way. I actually like Sue Perkins, think she's fab, but I look nothing like her except that I wear glasses. Is Sue Perkins generally found attractive by men? I may have found my niche.

I would definitely avoid POF, it's full of weirdos and pervs. I used Match and Muddy Matches in the past and although there are a lot of 'hi how r u gorgeous' types, and it can be very disheartening at times, I did meet a few genuinely lovely men who wanted long-term relationships. Loads of my friends have met their partners/husbands/wives online but afaik none on POF! Most have used Match, Muddy Matches, eHarmony or in one case, Uniform Dating (married, 2 children!).

I was on Match when I met DP - we met in real life through our mutual climbing hobby but funnily enough he had signed up to Match literally the day before we met, so maybe I'd have met him on there anyway. I did ask him if he wanted to get some use out of his subscription but luckily he said no

Met my lovely boyfriend of over 18 months on POF. There were a few dodgy ones, but I met or seriously messaged about 4 guys and they were all nice and genuine as far as I could tell. A dear friend also met her lovely fiance on POF.

I used to find Guardian Soulmates attracted a better quality of online dater, in that they tended to be able to spell and string a sentence together. Have you tried it? I think it's free to search.
I had varying degrees of success with OLD over a few years in my mid- thirties but nothing that really worked out. Met DH through mutual friends, turns out we had both used the Guardian site in the past and funny we never stumbled across each other.

I've done paid and free sites and actually had more success on the free one, which was POF! I've been seeing my latest POFer for 7 months and prior to him had a number of other short-term relationships with genuine, nice, normal blokes.

What about messaging about ten men yourself. That way you get about two or three replies, takes your mind off the 7 or 8 who ignore you!

From what I gather, POF is like a nightclub on a Sat night, yiu might get lucky and meet somebody nice, but mostly the standard is not very high at all. I have a DH, but if. Was looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely go for EHarmony or a professional dating site, to weed out the bad eggs.

You need to find your niche OP:

www.tatler.com/news/articles/march-2014/the-best-online-dating-sites

POF is generally awful for the reasons you've mentioned but somehow I did actually meet my DP there! He's lovely, kind, intelligent, has a professional career, wants a serious relationship and children...

There are a few gems among the "hi sexy" messages.

I met my DP on tinder. While it's generally regarded as a hookup site, there are quite a lot of people on there who are looking for a relationship.

While my amazing OH was in fact looking to play the field, be single and date, and I wasn't on there for a husband ( I also just wanted to date) i would never have found him had I not had a go.
I did go On legions of bad first dates, so
Maybe that's what you have to go
Through.

Guardian Soul destroyers had the scariest A1 psycho I have ever spoken to. He was emailing me all this weird shit and I remebered I could turn the computer off...I saw him up the corner shop a few weeks later and ran away. I liked recognising the faces from profiles when out and about though!
Just have a look at all the sites for OLD, and pick the one that suits you/ has a few of the sort of guys you are looking for.
Ditch any literacy rules - people type like twats. You will be single and posting on comma splitting threads here FOREVER otherwise. I reckon.

Also, cheer up your OLD by playing OLD Bingo.

• How's you
• hey bb
• profile picture taken at wedding
• profile picture taken doing mountain hiking
• cut and paste intro message approx 2000 words long
• teenager emails you saying "I like older women"

I suppose if well-designed they could guarantee mutual interest (in each others profiles) before anyone has to get around to composing a message

Yeah that's tinder. Op don't believe the crap about it being a hook up site and give it a try.

A lot to think about. I will see how it goes. I'm definitely not taking it too seriously - that would be hard with some of the eejits on there. I do enjoy perusing the profile pics though, especially the ones where the camera angles haven't been given proper consideration.

I met my DH on POF, and a girlfriend. Also had some hilarious dates, both in a good and awful way. Once went on a first date where we accidentally ended up at an arts and crafts session Made Viking hats. I've never laughed so much on a first date. There was no romantic connection, and we never saw each other again, but both agreed it had been a fantastic night. I also ended up on a date which was going really well until he turned out to be a homophobic, racist Tory idiot.

Don't give up on it. You had to wade through some crap, but is worth it.

Tired
Also add for bingo:
Pic taken wearing sunglasses while posed casually on the hood of someone else's sports car
The ones who message "Hey sexy" and then 10 mins later message "FUCK U UR UGLY ANYWAY"

OP, I've found OKC is generally better than POF, because of the personality quiz things. By fiddling with your settings you can filter out a lot of rubbish.

I'm about to go back to online dating and will keep well away of PoF or Match or OKC. Much rather use the guardian website. I hate the personality quiz, they tell you nothing about chemistry. But online dating is hard work as people often us it as a shopping catalogue (looking at the pictures, wondering what if but never actually meeting!)

pocket

• any pic taken of himself using a mirror

-as above, but he has no top on

• as above and background view of closed curtains, unmade bed, general mess