to not understand people getting upset over people they don't know?

[FarterChristmoose]

Good friend, bowie fan, started crying when she heard he died,says she will miss him so much. Eh? She never met him, never even saw him at a concert. Facebook shows she's not alone in her, erm ,grief.

Hear hear, Squoosh.

Nothing wrong with having empathy or being sensitive.

What I struggle with is people making something not connected to them all about them.... "I feel so terrible about death of insert name of famous person"... "It's really affected meeee"....

I actually find that kind of 'sensitivity' quite galling, as somebody who has lost too many actual real-life loved ones. There is no comparison.

I never get upset over celebrity deaths but I must admit I was sad about David Bowie. I wasn't a big fan, I juSt remember hi's music was a big part of my childhood and I felt sad. He did die a similar age asy dad, also a musician exactly a year ago so I think that contributed too.

I understand the heartbroken fans - maybe not their attachment but grief is grief, what I don't like is the media, I've given up trying to go on news websites for the next couple of days because every story is about fudging Bowie.

There's a few rock stars/actors who I'll cry for whwn they die. They've been a part of my life a long time. I've put time, money and a lot of emotional energy into them and their works.

If that makes me a sad case then so be it.

I quite agree, Quorn.

I doubt that your average Bowie fan was wailing outside Buckingham palace when that happened

So true. Cried yesterday about Bowie, Diana's death - felt a bit sad for her kids but that was it. Found the fuss quite scary.

That's because he was one of the greatest artists that this country has ever produced though seafood of course there will be a lot of coverage and quite rightly so I think.

I don't particularly like Paul McCartney and wouldn't have been upset if it had been him that died yesterday but I would completely understand millions of people being really upset as he is another one of those who's been around forever and is greatly admired in many quarters.

I was very sad about Bowie and shed a tear or two before work yesterday. I remembered how when I was 17 I wondered why all the boys at Shrewsbury art school suddenly had red hair and carried their bags across their bodies, then I found out they were imitating him, he was simply the coolest man on the planet. More recently he was older in years but so very contemporary, he looked fantastic for his age in his 50s and even in more recent pictures. He told me we can still be "modern" despite being 60+. I thought he was fit and well living a great lifestyle with his wife and daughter , I was sad and upset to have mortality brought home to me.

I guess it's the unexpectedness of it; plus the fact that the people who run our TV channels and newspapers are exactly the age to have had their formative years shaped by Bowie.
I assume that if he had died at 80+ and had been pictured in public looking old and frail previously, there would not be such a high level of coverage.
However think there are some people who have this sort of reaction and some people who don't. Sorry I'm one of the latter. My FB feed is full of my (mid 30 year old) friends all competing to find something meaningful to say about David Bowie. Like someone said upthread it feels a bit forced to me. Like if you don't talk about it on social media you aren't really feeling it.

Bowie has always been there hasn't he though? Certainly for the entirety of my life, every decade I've lived his music has been there and I've listened to and enjoyed it.

I felt a bit sad yesterday, but I confess to a watery eye when listening to space oddity last night and he sang 'the stars look very different today'.

I was similarly sad about Lemmy. He's been another constant in my life. I guess when your heroes start to die you question your own mortality a little.

the same people don't give a flying fuck about other very distressing things, or other people being emotional/hurt over actual pressing sitations in their lives.

They don't, do they? You know that for a fact, do you?

What a very strange thing to say.

I cried over David Bowie's death - his music was a really big crutch for me at a difficult time in my life and the news really upset me. I think it's quite natural to feel an affinity with people you've never met if they have a big impact on your life - to me it was like hearing that a distant family friend had died.

Mind you, I tend to be quite emotional about other people's upsets as well - I frequently find myself having to hold back tears reading the newspaper (embarrassing) and I properly sob reading books so I'm probably just a bit emotionally incontinent!

Of course, there's a difference between being sad and telling people that you're sad and making a big song and dance about how deeply impacted you are by something. I think that when it becomes a public act of grief then it goes a bit far...

I think some people are genuinely upset because he (a) died relatively young and unexpectedly and (b) he meant a lot to those who liked his music.

Others are just the kind of people who like to be part of something that's in the news and they feed into a kind of mass hysteria.

I wasn't sad to hear he died as he is not someone I know who have any feelings for. That doesn't mean I disapprove of other people feeling sad.

I do think that those of us who have lost someone close, someone who was way too young to die, are less likely to mourn someone they don't know. There is, however, a difference between mourning and feeling sad that someone has died.

I think it's odd to say in the title that people 'don't know someone' when they have been around for 40 years, published 28 albums or whatever and is an all round fairly unique icon. Knowing about someone isn't just about being physically in their presence, that's why artists and musicians put themselves into their music, to give a window into their own souls and thereby hopefully touch ours.

Weeping once or twice because you are sad, are touched by something, get a moment to reflect on life, or remember a time in your life doesn't seem to me like an excessive amount of grief, but fairly normal. It's hardly the same amount of grieving as people typically do for, say, a close family member where they may feel physically and emotionally bereft for years or even decades.

Nothing like Diana imo. That was peculiar.

Bowie's art and music gave me joy, happiness, courage and inspiration. Why would I not feel grief at the passing of someone who gave me that?

Oh God, this again?

Some journalist tweeted yesterday that people mourning Bowie should 'man the fuck up' (or maybe 'man the fuck up') and said she didn't think people who said they were crying over it really were. Charming.

I agree with Elsa: 'I wouldn't want to live in a world where our lives are only touched by those we have physically met, and where we can't feel sadness for those who are suffering or have passed if we don't personally know them.'

If you can't understand this I think you're suffering from a serious case of lack of imagination, at best.

This.
I do think some people go way over the top and are a little attention seeking, wailing in the streets and being devastated is a little much tbh. But I'm amazed at how many people genuinely seem to have loved Bowie's work, judging by the reaction to his death.

I wept when Terry Pratchett died and I'm not ashamed to say it. His books mean an enormous amount to me and he wrote my favourite book of all time. After the fatigue of doing an English Lit MA he taught me to enjoy reading for pleasure again. His bravery in the face of the hand that life dealt him and the beautiful way in which he turned it in to art and a personal campaign touched me very deeply. I'm trying not to well up now thinking of how the news was broken, with the use of DEATH and the description of him surrounded by family with a cat on his bed.

I think part of the enormous reaction to DB was that nobody knew until it was announced, it was a bit of a shock! I feel Bowie actually did something quite similar to PTerry with his death and seems to have timed it so the album came out as a last goodbye just before he went. That's such a fabulously Bowie thing to do.

My usual reaction to the death of a famous person is to think oh that's sad, maybe I'll watch a film/listen to a song/read a book of theirs and move on. But some people create art that's very special to you and it's natural to feel sad over them. Even though you didn't know them, they created something that made you laugh/sing/smile/cry over a number of years, my entire life in Bowie's case, and that is extraordinary.

Interestingly, a lot of people have said that there are very few 'famous' deaths that have touched them, but PTerry and Bowie seem to be high on that list!

No, I don't cry over the deaths of grown adults unknown to me who have led full lives. The short films Comic Relief shows though of children, again unknown to me, dying will make me weep though. Different things touch us.

My mum died at a similar age. Yes it's young but sadly cancer kills lots of people in their late 60s, it's not that young.
I don't personally feel upset by his death. He's just another famous person I don't know. Some of his records were good, he was an interesting artist but I wasn't a huge fan.

I'm not the sort of person to cry over high profile people dying (see,I'm avoiding the word celeb) but I did shed a tear (well,quite a few) yesterday. It wasn't so much that I was a mega fan, but I am a big music fan. It was just the knowing that we have artists like him around, and now he's gone, that's what I find hard...he was a bit of a constant presence. It's like saying "ok, there's a lot of crap music around, but it's ok as long as we've got Bowie, Iggy Pop, Thom Yorke and people like that around". But I tell you, if anything happens to Thom Yorke, that's it for me! I'll be sobbing for weeks!

For the people who don't understand someone being upset:

Is there any piece of art (music, painting, novel, dance etc) that can move you to tears through a strong sense of connection to it? If so does that not give you a feeling of connection to the person who produced that work?

There are a few songs that connect with me that way. I once was overcome with tears when a busker started playing a Pink Floyd song. A few minutes earlier I had been laughing and joking. Maybe I am overly emotional?

I would not personally be in tears if Bono died as I don't really connect with U2 (although I would feel sad for his family) but I can completely understand for some it would be upsetting.

I think what I meant to say earlier is you truly get to know an artist through their art. Sure, you don't know the person in private, but that doesn't matter.

All this BS from people saying you aren't entitled to feel grief, because that's the preserve of the family, is nonsense. Don't you suppose the outpouring of love from fans is actually comforting for them?