new childminders house

[karen912]

AIBU not to feel comfortable sending my children to a house where there is a smell of smoke? Nobody is smoking when they are actually there. It is someone that lives there that smokes in the evening.

So just to be clear - nobody is smoking around them, and they're not in a smokey room as such.. it is just the residual smell from the evening before. (I've read that residual smell and toxins can be harmful).
Myself and my husband don't feel the same about this, so totally open to being told IABU.

YANBU, by the way

I would remove my child and tell the childminder why!

My DC's childminder smokes, but not in the house/when she's working and her house and car don't smell of smoke.

I wouldn't send my kids to a smoky home tbh.

It would have put me off when my girls were young. I think the main reason being that I wouldn't want to pick them up at the end of the day smelling of smoke. My Mum smokes and even though she never smoked in front of the girls they used to smell of smoke if we had been to visit for the day.

It's a shame if the childminder is great apart from that but it would definitely have been enough for me to look elsewhere.

disgusting, no way would i use her

Deal breaker for me too, we don't allow the children in homes of smokers. Second and third hand smoke is dangerous and simply not worth the risk.

If I were happy with the childminder this wouldn't bother me. In fact our first babysitter used to turn up smelling of smoke but I am pretty sure she never smoked around the children. Not really a problem.

Deal breaker for me too. It's a foul smell to many, and I wouldn't want my children thinking it was normal.

My former childminder's partner smoked. He was banished from the house and garden completely if he wanted a fag, even outside of work hours. He took it with as much grace as a generally grumpy bloke takes anything, as he accepted that good business practice was to keep the house looking and smelling good.

Reporting her might be extreme!

Adults smoke, I think its gross, I can't abide the smell and feel quite sick if I am around it. But its your body and your choice, so smoke it up! However I don't think it is unreasonable to suggest a parent finds a different setting if the stale smell of smoke is lingering.

Nicotine grows?!

Someone should tell BAT

I would report her. The stale smoke in the area can be harmful and not everyone will notice the smell so will be placing their precious children in what could be considered a harmful environment.

When I said to report her, I was being sarcastic.

That was pretty clear, Pictish. You may be cool with this gross, disgusting habit, but the rest of us think it's vile.

Christ. This place is so catsbumsmouth sometimes it makes me want to swig gin and chainsmoke on the school run

Report her for what exactly? Ofsted would tell you to fuck off and stop wasting their time. They'd put it more politely than that, of course, but you can't report a childminder for this. It's non-reportable.

Has anyone considered that there are other reasons there may be a smell of smoke? How strong a smell are we talking?

I'm a CM and I've had parent before who smoked. When she dropped her DC off the smell would linger in the hallway and front room for a little bit after she left. It would dissipate after a little while bit anyone else dropping off in the immediate aftermath would probably presume it was what my house smelled like. We have the same effect when FIL visits, he's a smoker. He never smokes when he's here but obviously it's on his coat and lingers on for a bit after he's left.

We've lived in houses where smoke has come through the vents if the neighbours have been smoking in the garden.

You need to discuss it with your childminder and see what she says about it.

And for anyone saying to withdraw your children immediately - most CM contracts stipulate that you need to provide four weeks paid notice, regardless of whether you attend for those four weeks.

This place is so catsbumsmouth sometimes it makes me want to swig gin and chainsmoke on the school run

Us childminders do that anyway because not a single one of us gives two shits about the precious children in our care - or so some corners of MN would have you believe...

Yanbu. Yuk. You cant hide the smell. Id find another childminder.

I would be unhappy about that for sure, but the number of people crying 'deal breaker - find a new childminder!' must live in one of those mythical areas where perfect childminders grow on trees and you can simply move your kids with not so much as a second thought.

It took me weeks and many, many emails and phone calls to find a single available childminder in my area. If I'd subsequently discovered she lived with a smoker I'd have been highly unimpressed but I think I might have had to put up with it!

Not pro-smoking in any way, but is the absence of tobacco smells the most important quality you look for when choosing childcare? If she's a great childminder, the kids like her, the house is full of toys, and everything else is wonderful you might need to live with it, but I would mention it to her that you have noticed it.

Exactly. Judge her on the care she provides rather than the perfectly legal things she or others in her household do outside of working hours.

Do your DC come home smelling of smoke?

My child wouldn't be going back. I wouldn't report her - the smell is apparent to visitors and I presume she didn't lie to you. But she would be losing my custom and finding out why.

I think (hope) future generations will be bemused that we were ever so tolerant of smoking, just as we now deplore the behaviour of the generations that hit their kids and drunk drove without a second thought. It's got nothing to do with being cat's-bum-mouth - the stuff stinks and we are just beginning to realise that third-hand smoke is dangerous.

Yuk no. YANBU. Some smokers think their homes don't smell. They do. The smell will get in everything that goes in that house. Spare nappies/clothes left there will smell when they are used.
You will always be conscious of it. Find another CM OP.

Just to give an update and answer a couple of questions.. The childminder herself doesn't smoke, it is her partner in the evening.
The absence of tobacco smells is not the most important quality, but surely my children should be in a clean, toxin free environment. I certainly don't think we should shoot all the smokers. I won't be reporting her - as she has not done anything illegal
After speaking to her yesterday and my children smelling of smoke when I picked them (albeit it very faintly), regrettably I won't be sending them back. It is a pity, as otherwise she certainly seemed to be a very good child minder. I will be totally honest with her when I tell her why.
Thanks for all the feedback.

Of course this would bother many people. It's crazy her DH doesn't care enough about his wife's business, which he knows is out of their home, not to smoke outside.