to think DP could have shown a bit of concern when I'm choking on bathroom floor?

[SpiderStardust]

I've been ill, got a chest infection and tonsillitis. I've been putting off running knowing it would do my chest in but today thought I was well enough to go for a run.

Got home and started coughing my guts up - ended up in bathroom on the floor being sick and struggling to catch my breath. DP popped his head in and said "you're being sick because you were retching". I told him I felt really dizzy, turned around and he'd gone!! Back to his computer playing in his stupid game. I remained on the floor for 5 or so minutes, got my breath back and finally managed to get up. As I passed him I said "thanks for the concern, I'll get myself a drink shall I" and he replied "well you never said you wanted one". No because I was too busy fucking choking!!!
AIBU to think an offer of a drink of even a quick "you ok? Need anything?" Might have been nice?

Does your coughing come and go? When it comes it makes you feel as if you are going to choke? Then several hours might pass before it starts again?

If so, consider whooping cough. It was exactly how mine was. I had to tell my GP what was wrong because of course my chest was fine when I was there. She ordered the blood test to humour me, I think. It was positive. Annoyingly it was three weeks beforethe results came back and by then I was almost better anyway.

Hope you feel better soon and yes, he wbu.

I had sympathy for you until you divulged that you have asthma but no inhaler. For that, you are supremely unreasonable. Get down the doctors and sort it out.

I don't want to add grist to the mill, but isn't the treatment for exercise-induced asthma actually to use an inhaler pre-exercise, for prophylactic purposes? YABU to ever do strenuous exercise without doing so, imho.

However, YANBU to want a little caretaking at such a terrible moment for you. I am sorry that you did not get it.

because there is no symbol for a metered-dose-inhaler...

I will add to the chorus of stop taking stupid risks with your health.

There isn't an inhaler icon, but we do have this: which shows the colour your face will eventually go when you can't breathe!

My DH can be a bit like this. I was vomiting yesterday and got stranded and had to leave my car as I was worried I'd be sick. I called him and he spent the whole call trying to "ascertain the facts" because apparently "that's how you make decisions" In this case-was I safe to drive home.

When I eventually got home I said "I wish I was married to someone with empathy." He just tensed and said "ohh." Didn't correct me

I would hate to have someone hovering over me while I was vomiting...

Most useful would be for your dh to recognise an asthma attack and get your inhaler (except you dont have one - but for next time)

Is he normally so useless? if my DP was unable to get off his arse to help me when I was ill that would be a deal breaker.

As others have said, asthma is often underestimated. If uncontrolled, it can be really dangerous. Please go to your GP!

I'd be the same Oak. So long as he could be relied upon to investigate in the event of hearing me collapse to the floor I'd be happy enough.

The asthma does put a different spin on things but if you don't take it seriously why would he?

He sound useless but maybe he is annoyed you went running when you were so under the weather and that you try to 'get by' without asthma inhalers. I speak as an asthma sufferer who has done half marathons (2h PB) but only by listening to my body and taking meds where necessary.

Why on earth would you try to 'get by' without an inhaler?

Nobody in our house even has asthma and we have an asthma inhaler!! (We have it for emergencies as we know a few people with asthma.) We also keep an epinephrine pen handy. I guess we are medical pessimists.

Ugh tell him that he cannot be counted on in an emergency and that you're removing him as your emergency contact from work file, passport etc.

Also, next time he is ill, just ignore him.

HellonHeels has it right. You show a disregard for your own health. You cant complain when others then do so too.

I also agree. You need to take control of your health.

You need to have an emergency meeting. I mean a discussion about what to do in a crisis. And you need to spell it out to them.
We know;
what to do if we have called an ambulance (get the hospital bag, someone go to the door to guide them in)
what to do if theres a fire.
what to do if someone has collapsed.
What to do if there is any kind of unusual or loud noise.

Seriously, they need telling. Otherwise in a crisis everyone just freezes, or assumes it will be ok and its not that bed really.
I did this because a few years ago I was stabbed and I was unfortunately the only one that knew what to do...

I had so many plans for the new year, a new running regime, more dedication to my sport

Your first plan should be to visit the GP and get your asthma under control. You can't do the other two things without this. Use your common sense

Why should he show concern for you when you clearly don't?

I'm going to echo what PP have said and say go the GP and get a inhaler.

He was being unreasonable. You defo need an inhaler. Not to totally freak you out but a colleague passed away from the same thing, first ever asthma attack. She wss only 36. GET AN INHALER!

Cant believe you ran whilst recovering from a cold and then you say you have asthma and no inhaler. Do you care about your health. First job for you is visit to gp to get an inhaler. Please op do that. Your dh was unreasonable re not caring about your health but maybe he used to seeing you not caring for yourself.