AIBU to think that it's ok to raise a toddler in a one bedroom flat?

[Bumpandkind]

In London (in my experience) it's not that unusual that we're raising our Ds now 2 in a one bedroom flat. I know others that are doing it and whilst it's not our ideal it's what we can afford in an area that's ideal for both our jobs. I know many children spend some parts of the night in their parents rooms and actually, due to his bed being in there already he rarely gets into our bed anymore. I'm just asking as in-laws are a bit odd about it. It's going to have to change soon but for now it works for us.

Yanbu op. People across the world make do in very small living spaces. My house when I was growing up had enough bedrooms but me and my brother still spent most nights in our mum's bed anyway!

We do and it's fine, not had any comments! We do want somewhere bigger but only because we want another baby at some point. But with one toddlers it's all good! It helps that we have storage.

This is all so lovely and reassuring to know it's not so unheard off. Thanks everyone!

It's you I was thinking of, Artandco!

bumpandkind I had plenty of criticism from my Mum about everything to do with my life - water off a ducks back!

If it works for you and your family, then. Who is anyone to say its wrong

I had a 2 bed house for myself, DD who was 8 when we left, and DS who was 2 when we were rehoused.
I had a day bed that I used to sleep in the lounge as DD has a health condition which means she cant share a room.

It's really encouraging to read these posts as I'm in this situation.

Sharing a bedroom doesn't bother me that much. It's the lack of space that gets to me.

Entirely normal for London, New York and like cities. We did it in London, though we left (reluctantly) for work elsewhere before DS was that age, but we certainly know quite a few fairly glossy publishing/literary types for whom being in central London is more important than house space.

Point your ILs towards a website called Apartment Therapy - there's a specific section on small spaces, and the NYC section on small spaces features lovely, often unfeasibly tiny living spaces lived in by parents and children.

I now live in a four-bedroom house in the country, and our three year old sleeps in our bed and enters his own bedroom about once a week, on average.

Id love an excuse to keep dd in my bedroom as long as possible. Like other posters the only issue is storing toys!

OP I left my abusive husband 3 years ago. He is not DS father. I married him when ds was 6. He had good job and we had beautiful house etc. He was a bastard. Anyway it got so bad myself and DS left with nothing and all I could afford was a 1 bedroom flat above a pub
DS was 10. We had to share a bedroom with 2 single beds in it. Was awful. But we slept safely being away from the drunk.
I did that for 3 years until i could afford a 2 bed which now have.
You can do it. I had too.

for flatonthehill
Sounds like your in a good place now.

Bumpandkind
Thank you. We live in a lovely 2 bed flat now. Very happy and a good amount of space. Makes me appreciate everything I have.

I think the time when children all had their own rooms is going to be quite a short lived time in history for a lot of people. sharing rooms will become normal again. I think part of the problem is that non london/se people are sort of aware that things are expensive there but not how expensive, especially rent wise. (there are property buying programmes to give us an idea of buying prices)

Sorry to be the voice of dissent- I need my space and the one bed flat till ds was 3 nearly drove me to the brink...

Until recently, me DP, DD age 10 and DS age 9 could have lived where you do!

I have suddenly got strict with sleeping in their own beds though!

By choice, they would both be with me and DP, so do not feel bad about it!

Actually the toy issue is fine. But that's because we literally told family from before children were born not to buy anything without checking with us first. Mainly as a) space for large stuff, b) space for repeated similar stuff. So now most kindly buy them experiences ( annual passes somewhere usually), or small token gifts. Means they all toys actually used regularly. And we can go out every weekend often to one of the annual places.

The trick is to use outdoor places as much as possible. For example if we want to meet up with friends on a weekend during the day we will try and meet in a museum or park. And evenings ours is fine for eating as large dining table, but too many we pick restaurants. Regardless of space, meeting out saves mess at yours anyway which is a bonus.

Can you divide your home at all into small areas? So in living room have a small chair for reading, a desk for working or child drawing and sofa for sitting as family. So mini zones within a small space.
The same in bedroom. We have toy storage and kids reading corner in bedroom (sounds exotic but is literally small book shelves at the end of their beds with sheepskin rug and cushions). And a bed desk ( like a tray with legs), that can put on our large bed and they build Lego models on.
All these plus others combined mean we never really feel ontop of each other as the children can be both doing same thing but in different rooms if they want