To think it's ludicrous to expect to be a guest at someone's house 3 days before they move.

[PiperChapstick]

My DM - who is rather difficult at the best of times - is moving back to my home town from where she used to live. She's not in her new house until 2nd February. I assumed she'd stay with her dad (my grandad, obvs) - who also lives in hometown 2 miles from me -before she moves in to new place.

ME, DH and DD are moving house on Monday (yippee!). Mum was supposed to arrive the day we move, and I assumed she'd stay at Grandad's (and not ours) in the meantime for the following reasons -

1. Our house will be bedlam for a little while what with the move
2. We don't actually have a spare room
3. Grandad does have a spare room with a comfy bed (mum has back problems, can't remember the word but this is a special back problem bed)
4. I thought we'd enjoy our first bought home as a family without my mum having to live in the living room for 2 weeks and wanting to know our every move.

Today she has said she's actually coming back on Friday - 3 days before we move - and wants to stay with us. I told her it's really not convenient as everything will be boxed/packed/plastic stuff over it and there'd be nowhere for her to sleep. Even we're dismantling the bed and dining table on Saturday and will be sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

She doesn't want to stay at Grandad's at all before 2nd February. They get on very well but he fusses over her and she doesn't like it. Her reason for not staying is "What would I want to live with my parent for 2 weeks for?!".

I've told her she can't stay at ours on Friday as with a toddler and a boxed up house it's just not fit for having a guest. She's in a sulk and is saying if I don't let her stay, and don't let her stay for the 2 weeks in our new house, she's going to a B&B which will "drain her of all her money".

AIBU or is she?

Tell her she can sleep on the floor if she brings a sleeping bag.

I was going to say yanbu being unreasonable, then I saw she has a dog and now i think you would be completely off your rocker if you agreed, no way hose!

No to mother.

No to dog.

That should say special powers not social!

She's very unreasonable but you already know that.

Stand your ground, she can stay at her Dad's and if she sulks , so bloody what?

Be brave and don't let her overrule you.

Dog can go to a kennel if need be. Yanbu!

she is being ridiculous and the dog sounds revolting

My ILs spent a fortnight with us when my DD was 2 months old and left a week before we moved house. It was the most stressful experience of my life. Don't agree!!

Put in your big girl pants and be firm with her.

Easy Peasy

YANBU. Do not let this happen or she'll try it again.

Her dog goes to kennels and she goes to a b and b or she stays with her df.

Say no very firmly and then, hopefully, she'll be preoccupied with her own move and leave you alone.

I don't need to read the other responses first... YANBU

She sounds petulant and I don't understand why she can't see the difficulties here, these are genuinely impossible circumstances for you to try and host in... she's nuts!

"Mum, if you choose to spend two weeks at a B&B rather than with your dad, that is your prerogative. There is no possibility of you staying here for two weeks before we move because...er... we're moving! Come and see us in the new house, WHEN we've settled in, we'll send you a proper invite!"

My PIL booked flights to come and visit us after we'd been living in a new country for a month. They arrived the day before we moved from temporary accommodation to the apartment we'd just rented. Containers of our stuff had just arrived from the UK. All I wanted to do was unpack my baby's stuff and get on with it. Put it this way - they will never book flights without checking first again and now stay in hotels if they come over.

I have text her to say that it's definitely a no for Friday and I'm afraid we won't be able to put her up before she moves into her new house. Nothing else.

Haven't heard anything back. She's read the message though an hour ago. Slightly scared

Courage, OP!

Stand firm!! handhold for op

I would never let a smelly dog into my new home! Nor a daft mother!

Stick to your guns. She's being ridiculous. She has a perfectly good place to stay.

Stand firm op. You can do it.

I wouldn't give my new address to her or the dog!

Yanbu. Stay firm op. Unless dm is there to help!!! . Dh and i went over to stay with pil with weekend they moved. Our soul purpose was to move them! We slept on the floor (expected that), packed and then unpacked everything that was still left and then spent two days carrying everything from one house to the next by car and by foot (houses were 5 mins from each other and as so close no one booked a van....bad mistake ) Ended up sleeping in new house second night with dh whilst they slept in old house. Fav memory was carrying a table and chair across the common and dh and i ended up putting them down for 5 minutes and sitting down and watching the dog walkers going by. We must have looked mad by any passer by sitting in a very large green area with garden furniture. Wish id taken a picture now. Mind you would have had no idea which box camera was in. Remember amazing fish and chips and going to bed very early. Good luck op on your move!

She won't stay in the same house as her parent, but expects you to!?

You are a grown up now, you get to choose. If she sulks then that is her issue, not yours. Dont rise to it and certainly dont worry about it and definately dont feel guilty and start apologising.

YANBU. Courage, mon brave.

No one in the entire world would think you were being unreasonable OP!