Is it U to holiday without DC

[Taylorswiftshair]

Not saying which party I am just yet and for bias sake

Is it U for a father and stepmum to go on a two week holiday each year without his DC. DC will be taken away for long weekend in UK later in the year.

DCs DM takes DC abroad each year for a week so they are still getting a 'proper' holiday.

Should Dad take DC or not?

Every year without them is not on. Perhaps it would be fairer on you and on the kids if it alternated - two weeks away without the kids and a weekend with them this year for him, next year you get two weeks away without the kids while he takes them away.

I had to have some stern words with my ex about how our kids would feel looking back when they're older if he didn't spend a decent chunk of his holiday time with them.

Yes and yes.

Think I must be too use to his behaviour because it just seems normal now.

Stuck between DP pissed off and DS pissed off and not quite sure what they expect me to do about it.

See that's the thing, he doesn't cover any holiday time at all. He has EOW and 1 tea time in the week. Half of birthday and half of Christmas day. I've asked him to cover holiday before and he's working or on holiday. I can't force him to have them. I just resigned to it now but DP is pissed off, not sure what he expects me to do

I'd watch out because it sounds like your current DP is as determined to get a child free fortnight as your EX DP.

How many Exes do you need in your life?

To be fair, why should it be the mother only ? Your DH took as much part in making them and a long weekend is not a proper holiday abroad. How about reversing it? Go for a long weekend yourself and take them to the good holiday like their mom has been doing? It's only fair they get at least equal treatment from both their parents and equal contribution to holiday time.

Is it possible to alternate? YR1 you and DP have the child free holiday and DF takes them abroad then vice versa? Seems fair? All adults have a child free hol and the kids get to go abroad each year (if affordable obvs)

Wow. That's really awful.

Sorry OP. I'm all for child free hols but he's taking the piss! His kids will remember this for the rest of their lives!

I don't blame your partner for getting hacked off in all honesty.

In your shoes I'd ask the ex to revisit mediation and discuss these arrangements concerning DC's. I know none of us can force anyone into anything but this is honestly not on.

He must get at least 4 weeks holiday a year. The children deserve to spend at least two weeks of that with him, whether they go away or not. They may not notice now, but it will affect their relationship when they're older. And it's hard on your relationship with your partner now.

And, if you work, you need him to do his bit on holiday childcare. Personally I wouldn't be sharing Christmas and Birthday if he wasn't interested in holiday time with them.

Sorry I missed the point too. So you are the DM. Your son is pissed off right and his father can take as many holidays as he likes on his on so far as he is giving equal contribution to taking them abroad for as much time as you do. Your DP is pissed off and that makes sense too. I would be pissed off too. Your ex is being a dick to his DCs.

I think as he sees children less he should be spending a good part of his holidays with them in my opinion.

I would want to take my kids on holiday every year anyway but would be put out if I had an ex that never did.

Also, if you are working it must put more pressure on you with childcare if he will not use any holidays on them. Plus, a bit unfair if kids need childcare in hols while Dad is swanning off on fancy holidays. (Not sure this is the case)

i think its fine to go away without the children, but i think you should take them away for longer than a long weekend. Thats pretty stingy if you can afford to take yourself to the maldives.

Dp and I try and get away for a childfree week every year, and sometimes another long weekend too, but our main holiday is with the children

Yes happens every year and yes it's the Maldives! Was Bali last year (are you SM?!)

Ha! No, I'm not

It's a very clear signal to his children about the importance of their position in his life, isn't it?

If he can afford lots of lovely holidays in all conformations, fine. But to blatantly spend thousands as a couple and a token amount (relatively) on his children....bit of a dick.

And that's without even considering the unfair situation for you, who doesn't get to have child free holidays.

Ok to have a children free holiday, but doesn't sound like hes sees much of them and he should maybe prioritise having longer holidays with them.

Unfair and selfish, little point in having children if you don't include them in holidays.

little point in having children if you don't include them in holidays
Not sure I'd go that far....

I think he should take them. He should be covering half the school holidays as he is also their equal patent. I'm always surprised at the girlfriends of these men - don't they question why a man wouldn't want to have his own kids on holiday?

Parent not patent!

A one off is fine but every year is a piss take. I can understand why your DP is annoyed I think I would be. My ex has never taken DD on holiday but when me and DH went away for 4 nights we were "neglectful" apparently. I hate the way it always falls to DM to take the kids on holiday. We all need a break! Tell him next year he's to take the kids so you can have a week of peace too!

2 weeks a bit much with the relying on the DC mum taking them away every year.

Bit selfish IMO