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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask parents to give new teachers a chance?

28 replies

Sukkii25 · 11/01/2016 11:36

After 4 years at a Scottish University my DD will qualify to teach children from age 3 to 12. She has not done this for fun, she has always wanted to be a teacher. AIBU to ask that parents who might have my DD as a teacher respect that she has been trained but will still be learning (as we all do in every job and in life) and to work with the teacher, not against.

My DD does not have a class assigned yet but she is stocking up supplies from her own pocket and is excited to start teaching in August.

I see so many negative posts on here about teachers that I actually fear for my daughter. Some parents actually hit teachers! So just a wee thought, that teacher you are shouting at is someone's daughter or son and just because you had a bad day does not entitle you to shout at them. My daughter will be 23 in February and is very, very capable to teach your children but she is still my little baby, my child.

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 11/01/2016 11:45

One of the best teachers my DD2 has had was an NQT.

My concern with having an NQT wasn't on the teaching side, but how she would manage with the pastoral - noticing the upsets etc between the children. She was fantastic. Helped of course by good support from her SLT.

No one deserves to be shouted at at work. Your DD needs to make sure she understands the school's policies on how to deal with such parents should she be unlucky enough to encounter them.

Good luck to her.

Only1scoop · 11/01/2016 11:48

My dd is 5 and her class teacher is a wonderful NQT

This teacher did a previous 2 terms at the school whilst training and they asked her to stay once qualified.

This is a private school though and she has an amazing support network and a small class. she's a great addition to the staff.

Makes me feel very old she's only 23.

Good luck to your dd.

LadyLuck81 · 11/01/2016 11:58

My daughter starts school in September. I promise I will assume the absolute best of her teacher, NQ or otherwise, unless I am given reason to think otherwise.

My base line thinking is that all teachers went into the job to be there for kids and help them learn. They want kids to be happy and work their hardest to make school a nice experience.

I also promised if I DO have an issue I'll deal with it politely, professionally and fairly and not go on an OTT rampage.

Is that ok Smile

LadyLuck81 · 11/01/2016 11:58

Oh and good luck to your daughter. I'm sure she'll be fab.

RoseDog · 11/01/2016 12:06

My son is in P6 and his teacher is a NQT although she is older and a mum of 3 teenage boys, she is fabulous and my ds loves her as a teacher sometimes its great for the kids to have someone new come into the school teach!

My cousin started as primary teacher when she was 23/24 and she has had no problems with parents giving her a chance.

Good luck to your DD.

TheSecondViola · 11/01/2016 12:08

I don't think the kind of people who punch teachers, or even shout at them, are hanging out on MN.

lilydaisyrose · 11/01/2016 12:15

I very much hope she comes to our school, she sounds amazing! Congratulations on her wonderful achievement.

My husband is a teacher, he is very capable at dealing with tricky situations, but it often is a thankless job, unless you count a box of quality street once a year! To be honest, he finds teaching and planning the easy bit, it's the politics, staff and stage group meetings, power hungry management who spend a huge amount of time out of school and aren't able to cover classes and the constant pressure to lose his RICT (sp?) time; much harder to deal with.

Birdsgottafly · 11/01/2016 12:27

"" but she is still my little baby, my child.""

The same can be said of anyone with living parents, it's irrelevant.

I've raised my voice to a teacher and educational psychologist, when both had decided that my DD didn't have any SN (later diagnosed).

I've gone in raging when a Head of Year told my DD that "she should be over that by now", about seeing her 12 year old friend killed in front of her, weeks before.

I've also told a one Teacher and TA, straight about them ignoring Racism and allowing bullying.

In my experience, teachers need to remember that their knowledge isn't infinite. Real Life causes issues that can't just be ignored and the child/family perform like robots in the classroom.

The worst offenders by Teachers etc when dealing with Parents is using their intelligence when dealing with less educated/informed/verbally able Parents to just completely shut down the conversation.

I've been in meetings (as a CP SW) and had to address this, a lot.

Teachers are essential and can make a massive difference to a child's outcomes.

It's a personal duty, with the help from the Head, to ensure that certain Working Culture's don't build up and go too far.

Katenka · 11/01/2016 12:29

My sons teacher is a NQT

She is wonderful. I love her. I will be gutted when he moves in September.

In Real Life the majority of parents treat their children's teachers well, ime.

It's a minority that make life awful for them. It must be awful for teachers even though it is a minority. It's not ok but unfortunately, some people are dickheads. It's not something you can entirely get away from.

GoblinLittleOwl · 11/01/2016 14:30

For goodness sake.
Let your daughter grow up.
'my little baby, my child.'
Really.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/01/2016 14:35

As long as your little baby remembers that she's dealing with other people's littler babies and that the little babies in her class are as precious to their parents as she is to you I'm sure she'll be fine.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 11/01/2016 14:43

Sorry but what a daft thread to start. Of course anyone with a hint of common sense will give NQTs a chance. My son has has two over three years, both fab.

Is this something weird humble brag or something?

steppemum · 11/01/2016 14:47

I have 3 dcs. I love the school where they go to.

We have had lots of lovely NQTs through the years.

We have had a least one less than lovely NQT, well, she was lovely but not coping with class. She is doing much better now on her 2nd or 3rd class.

We have also had good and bad experienced teachers.

I am an (ex) teacher, so I do get it, but 2 things (from observation of other parents experiences):

  1. for parents - relax, in the grand scheme of education one mediocre teacher for one year isn't the end of the world. Give the teacher a break.
  1. for teachers - however professional you are and how ever much training you have had, the parent is the expert on their child not you. Please listen, and don't dismiss them because they are young/ill educated/poor.
noblegiraffe · 11/01/2016 14:59

She is going into teaching, not a war zone!

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/01/2016 15:05

A more useful thread might have been tips for your DD about how to be a great teacher. Start with steppe's number 2.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/01/2016 15:07

noble younger than that i was working with serious ex-offenders. I can't imagine my Mum going onto a site for them and saying, "she is still my little baby, my child". Grin

OP, she'll be fine.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 11/01/2016 15:11

The NQT's my Dd's have had have all been fantastic and full of enthusiasm.

Iammad · 11/01/2016 15:12

I'm sure your dd will do absolutely great!
All my children's teachers have been great, a couple have been nqt and I have never had any worries over them.
And tbh why should I!
My middle children has a nqt and he has asd, his teacher has been fantastic with him.
It's a bloody hard job in sometimes very hard (government) circumstances.

RudeElf · 11/01/2016 15:14

Am i the only one to read that OP and think ODFO? Hmm

So just a wee thought, that teacher you are shouting at is someone's daughter or son and just because you had a bad day does not entitle you to shout at them.

I have never in my life shouted at a teacher. How about you wait until your precious baby actually enounters a problem before you go wading in on her behalf instead of talking to people who have done nothing that you are attributing to them.

RudeElf · 11/01/2016 15:23

Also wondering if OP called her DD's new school to ask for an assembly so that she can address the staff and pupils on the correct handling of her "little baby". Or is it just strangers on the internet who will have zero contact with her baby who get to hear that shite? Hmm what is the point of this thread?

Guacamowle · 11/01/2016 16:42

So I am assuming she will be starting her probationary year in August? She will be fine - she will have a reduced timetable, a school based mentor and a probationer support officer in whichever Local Authority she goes to.

One hint - she might find it easier not to get entangled with the kids if you cut the apron strings.

Does she know you have posted this? My adult kids would be mortified!

alltouchedout · 11/01/2016 16:45

Maybe you should go with her on her first day and tell all those nasty parents not to be mean to your little girl?

Seriously though, relax, chances are she'll be far more stressed by the ridiculous demands made by government and inspectors than by pissed off parents.

teeththief · 11/01/2016 16:52

that teacher you are shouting at is someone's daughter or son and just because you had a bad day does not entitle you to shout at them

I shouted at a teacher because she'd screamed shouted at my 8 year old unnecessarily. I'm sure she didn't go home and cry on her mum for 2 hours like my DD did.....

FelicityFunknickle · 11/01/2016 16:56

I have never shouted at a teacher. I think it is pretty rare tbh, especially when compared with other fields of work.
I wish your daughter well.

WickedWax · 11/01/2016 16:58

AIBU to ask that parents who might have my DD as a teacher respect that she has been trained but will still be learning (as we all do in every job and in life) and to work with the teacher, not against

Ok. Tell us her name and what school she's starting at then so we know if we're those parents.

Alternatively, email your OP to the headteacher and ask them to forward it to the relevant parents.

HmmConfused

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