WIBU to make a dinnertime app

[Tirfarthoin]

It will play phrases at random throughout dinnertime - I will prop the phone against the flowerpot and press play so that I can go to a darkened room and massage my temples.

"sit still"
"elbows off the table"
"please finish what is in your mouth before putting more food in"
"how can I teach the children manners if you go and do things like that?"
"do not talk with your mouth full"
"sit down!"
"Just three more mouthfuls"
"there is no pudding"

I am already thinking there could be a driving one too

"Stop poking your brother"
"Stop kicking the seat in front"
"left, left, I said left!"
"I meant my left"
and on and on and on..I will just pop in my headphones and listen to something calming.

The updates and in app purchases could make my million and I need it since I didn't win last nights lotto.

You've just described the Penfold household. My H seems pathologically unable to not speak with a mouth full of food and doesn't know his left from his right grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! I'll buy your app.

This would be a godsend in the Snake household.

Don't worry they won't even notice that you aren't in the room. But you will need to be able to remotely change it to

"put the dishes in the dishwasher not on the side"
"no not that one its not dishwasher safe"

See I thought this would be an app that told everyone when dinner was ready so you did have to go get them/shout up the stairs at them.

Slight flaw - what about 'no phones at the dinner table?' I say that a lot to dh

"Please try to keep the food on your plate"
"Sit on the chair properly, not side saddle"
"Yes, you do like it"
"No, there isn't anything else"
"If you've finished your drink already, there's water in the tap"
"Your sleeve is not a napkin"

Use your fork not your fingers

Yy to "no phones at the table" and, ah, I see the fatal flaw to the scheme

To solve the 'gathering everyone to the table without shouting' issue I've put wireless doorbells in the children's bedroom with the buzzer in the kitchen. I press the bells as I'm serving up dinner and the children appear

Please can you also make a morning one.

I said put your shoes on.
It will be where you left it!
Have you got your swimming bag
SHOES!
We are late now.

Bex we actually have an intercom but I worried that made us sound posh

See now Savoy now we are going into in app purchases. I was thinking a bath and bed time special-

Keep the water in the bath
Do not suck the sponge
Why are you drinking the bath water?

And for a little extra ££ we will provide bed time stories

'Don't touch each other' - the 'mummy, he's touched me' drives me crackers, they just wind each other up.