to constantly feel on MN like I either have the 'wrong' opinion or it is not worth a fig!?!

[horseygeorgie]

Exactly that. I am probably being over sensitive, in fact I'm sure many of you will tell me I am, but every time I comment on a tread I get shot down in flames. Tbh it is getting to me a bit! I used to love MN, it was a haven when I had a bad day, but I daren't post much any more as I always seem to end up either with the 'wrong' opinion or made to feel like it doesn't matter if I have a difference of opinion because I'm clearly out of order and wrong to boot!
Just typed up a reply on another thread and deleted it as I KNOW what reaction I will get and it is never pleasant. It is like being back in the school room! I know I am probably being U as I get a little sensitive with people opinions (was very badly bullied at school and never really got over the need to please.) but can't help the way I feel. Just a bit sad and down about it actually.

Not all of you, obviously. There are some lovely people on her, and people I have a lot of respect for, even if we don't even agree.

It's worse when you find yourself doing it in RL, MrsDV.

NM and MN are increasingly the same forum. Although one has more pink, sparkly tickers.

Disagreeing with someone or pointing out an obvious fact rather than filling your post with hugs and flowers is not a sign of nastiness or bitchiness. Sometimes the advice you need to hear is not the advice you want to hear. And in a similar vein someone is not a twat just because they hold a different opinion to you.

Disagreeing with someone or pointing out an obvious fact rather than filling your post with hugs and flowers is not a sign of nastiness or bitchiness. Sometimes the advice you need to hear is not the advice you want to hear. And in a similar vein someone is not a twat just because they hold a different opinion to you

Absolutely. Bloody good post, Rafa.

Also IMO if one poster disagrees with you, and some others happen to agree with that poster that does not equal 'herd mentality' or bullying. It just means some posters agree with each other with a view that opposes yours.

I think the important thing to remember is that you agree/disagree with the post and not the poster. Sometimes you can disagree with the poster on one thread, most vociferously, and then be in total accord on the next one.

But all too often - especially on AIBU - posters confuse the two, and start slagging off the poster. One of the reasons why it's not a nice place to be. Plus the fact that some of the posters on AIBU are as thick as pig shit

As long as you are not posting maliciously and being truthful then there is nothing to worry about. Some will disagree with you. So what?

Enjoy the debate. Be polite, even to those you disagree with.

They may well agree with you on another thread. There are posters who I often come across and often cross swords with but who sometimes I chat quite nicely with. Its not personal.

Yanbu
A lot on here make assumptions and assume. Then the sheep follow and before you know it the herd are literally attacking you.
There are a lot of chippy people in here that are rather bitter. In saying that, there are some nice people on here to. Ive noticed on the AIBU threads, you could say one word and they blow it out of proportion. Ignore those ones, you normally find out in future threads that they have problems. I
OP you are not alone. Dont take it personally.

Sometimes the OP gives such scant details people start to read between the lines. There do seem to be a lot of OPs in AIBU who start threads and then don't seem to want to be involved in them

Sparkling
Thats true, they start a thread, then bugger off and everyone else is left virtually having a punch up

YY Flat a squillion questions are asked and lots of reading between the lines is done. The if someone dares to say 'Where's the OP gone?' they come back 5 hours later and say 'I haven't got time to MN all day like some of you saddos'.

Just try being a feminist- see what happens to you then. Incredibly depressing on a site that's mostly women!

That's funny Bertrand as I view this site as being overwhelmingly feminist. I seem to see more posters than not identifying as feminist.

Wow. Have you ever posted nothing from a feminist point of view?

I have had some (not all) of the feminist posters having a bit of a pop (while under a different name) - if a viewpoint is seen as non feminist, it doesn't go down too well on here.

I don't engage with the more aggressive posters now as they are just argumentative and don't have patience with people who have a different opinion.

I think it's not that people aren't feminist, it's that they aren't feminist enough. And that's fine as everyone is entitled to their opinion.

And I think MN attracts a certain political profile of poster - most seem to be left of centre. Any post about benefits, for example someone wants to report a friend for fraud, is always going to kick off.

I totally get where you're coming from.
Some people live on here night and day and seem not to have a real life
I just hide the thread these days before I feel the need to retaliate.

rose I try to do that not always successfully

It takes time to get there Livia and believe me I've retaliated but all that did was feed them. Ive learned that the most innocuous post can turn into a fight with some of the more regular groupies they also like the "report" button lots and know exactly how to word things so you're the one that looses your temper.

Ive learned to see a few names on a post and hide, I do however have to still say Im going to hide the thread though

MN has gone very "Outrage of the Week" of late. There seems to be a spate of furious threads on one topic and then a few weeks later there's equal fury on another topic. That didn't used to be the case.

There are also a lot of keyboard warriors on here too, in general. Learning to walk away is vital.

Sometimes I get a feeling that my replies are invisible to the rest of the mn as opposed to being the "wrong ones". And if they are not completely ignored, I'm being blamed for being offensive, which is NEVER meant that way.

Brides, remember that sometimes it just takes one vulture to settle and the rest follow. Don't take it to heart, some are seasoned nasties. The minute you feel uncomfortable just leave.

Thankfully this thread has been left alone mostly.

I have had some right patronizing comments from some feminists on here and other forums. Apparently being a women myself and others should be against certain things ( not a dig against you bert you simply reminded me) and if i'm not it's ok to be patronizing and demeaning.
It is the same on nm with regards to this label.
Myself and others are labelled 'cool girls/wives/gfs' and told we are brainwashed,simply doing or saying things for our man etc couldn't possibly be we actually have our own minds and disagree

Not everybody will agree on everything. That's good, it makes for interesting conversation.
I like to hear other peoples side, i may not agree but still.
I don't understand though why people need to insult others for not agreeing? Or insinuate that people don't really know their own mind?
Or call them sick etc
There is just no need. It's very sad.

Thanks rose.
The advice about leaving is the one my DM gave me when I was a teenager. I'm still religiously following it.

Hmmm... Interesting one. I think YANBU. I think it is true that on such a large forum people aren't going to all have the same opinions but I do think that certain opinions are more acceptable on MN than others. If you do have less popular MN opinions (which in RL may not actually be that uncommon) you can certainly be attacked for it. you also find that some posters will hold grudges against you because they don't like your opinions on certain subjects - even if they do agree with you on other threads. I think that some people will judge what you've posted by your username, not by what you've actually written. So you can find yourself having to defend something you've written, even though a few other people on the thread have said the same thing without being misinterpreted and jumped on. It can be a strange old place :)