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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Which one of us is less wrong?

23 replies

whatlifestylechoice · 10/01/2016 14:42

Given that we probably both are for managing to have an argument over such a minor disagreement.

I did a load of batch cooking this morning for the freezer, as I'm currently pregnant and want to stack the freezer with dinners for after the baby arrives.

As I was in the shower, when DH came in, I asked him to give the pots a stir. He then poked his head around the door and said "If I can make one small criticism, I don't think the meat from [the butcher in the supermarket] is the best - it doesn't seem the freshest or best quality to me."

We live in the country. We can buy meat from either this supermarket, or the butcher in the next village. DH is appalled by the prices the butcher in the next village charges so refuses to shop there. There's no where else nearby we can buy meat from. Also, the fucking meat seems fine to me.

I got annoyed at his "criticism" because I think its very rude to start making negative comments about food that is being cooked for you, then he got annoyed because I was annoyed "because I wasn't criticizing you personally" and words were had.

So am I right that he's a rude ungrateful bugger who should keep his pointless "criticisms" to himself, or am I a massively overreacting stroppy bitch?

OP posts:

LordBrightside · 10/01/2016 14:45

It was stupid thing for him to say.

VimFuego101 · 10/01/2016 14:47

So he doesn't want you to shop at the expensive butchers and is now criticizing you for using the only other available option... Not very helpful. I would delegate all shopping to him in future.

Arfarfanarf · 10/01/2016 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 10/01/2016 14:49

Is he always so formal when he speaks to you?

I probably would have said to my DH, "That supermarket meat isn't great quality lately, is it"?

And if it was true, he probably would have agreed and had a bit of a moan about it too.

I'm quite sure he wouldn't take it as a personal slate, because it's not like he raised and slaughtered the animal himself

OurBlanche · 10/01/2016 14:51

Easy! Tell him that as he dislikes the local butcher and the supermarket one you can conveniently access then he is in sole charge of meat purchases from here on in.

When he has identified a source he finds acceptable he can pass the details to you and, should you find accessing them convenient, you can go back to both of you shopping for meat.

Until he finds such a source you will be happy to cook vegetarian meals for both of you.

Then leave him to it. Whatever he devises as a reasonable work round is his business.

Have fun!

Birdsgottafly · 10/01/2016 14:52

""If I can make one small criticism,""

If he actually said that, then he is out of order.

If he had of started a conversation, when you were face to face, that he would like to try the Meat available elsewhere, then that's fine.

Finola1step · 10/01/2016 14:52

That sounds like management speak to me. Does he manage others at work?

WorraLiberty · 10/01/2016 14:53

It sounds like nervous speak to me!

Asskicker · 10/01/2016 14:54

So he criticised the supermarket meat?

Why is that a big deal?

The butcher is expensive and the supermarket is crap. Sounds like most rural places, unless you have a local farmer that Ali's has a butchers like near my pil.

I think Yabu for taking it personally. He is bu and will have accept its a choice between shit meat and expensive meat.

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 10/01/2016 14:56

So he doesn't want you to shop at the expensive butchers and is now criticizing you for using the only other available option... Not very helpful.

That's what I said! How is that in any way helpful? Rarr!

Anyway, I have told him he can just have vegetarian food from now on (I've been pushing for more veggie food anyway, but he liked his meat, except when he doesn't obviously! )

Worra, we are in France, so I'm translating directly from French. Also, he is wrong; the meat is fine. I think he's just out with this butcher because they wouldn't give him a bone for teh dog last time we were there.

OP posts:

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/01/2016 14:57

HIBU.

WorraLiberty · 10/01/2016 14:59

It's just a differing opinion about the quality of meat though, not a personal dig at your cooking

I would get him to shop for the meat next time.

Fratelli · 10/01/2016 15:05

I take it he's going to be doing all the shopping and cooking from now on then?

Penfold007 · 10/01/2016 15:07

You asked him to stir the pots not critique your cooking or ingredients. I'd let him do the meat shopping from now on.

Sanchar · 10/01/2016 15:12

Dh does similar, he offers "feedback" on my cooking.

He doesn't anymore after he got a lecture about me not being a restaurant, cafe, bistro or any kind of business that warrants customer feedback.

It's a fucking cheek to critique someone when they have been busting a gut to fill your gut!

Chippednailvarnish · 10/01/2016 15:14

When baby arrives you can eat your meals and he can go hungry...

DoreenLethal · 10/01/2016 15:14

I think you should have said 'That's no problem as it isn't for you anyway.'

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 10/01/2016 15:15

I take it he's going to be doing all the shopping and cooking from now on then?

Yes. Yes, he is.

It's just a differing opinion about the quality of meat though, not a personal dig at your cooking

Yes, but now he has implied that my meat dishes are also of poor quality, given the poor quality of one of the main ingredients. And soon I am going to have a small baby and have to eat what I know he considers to be sub-standard food.

Ok, FINE, I might be overreacting ever so slightly. slams doors, bursts into tears

Fuckit, I need . Stupid non-drinking pregnancy.

Thank you all for allowing me to rant my way out of my bad mood.

OP posts:

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 10/01/2016 15:20

My DH had a bit of a phase of offering small "tips" or criticisms despite never cooking himself, due to an obsession with watching Masterchef Suggestions he could do the cooking as he knew so much about it were not taken up. He's stopped now :o

I suppose it depends quite how the conversation went, which is hard to know due to the translation. If he was really offering a "criticism" which he framed as such and brought up specifically, not as part of a conversation, he is the one firmly in the wrong. However if it was more "the supermarket butcher isn't as good as it used to be is it, maybe we should give the one in the village another try despite the prices" that's valid...

Could be that whether he was being an arse or not is somewhat lost in the translation.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 10/01/2016 15:21

Tell him you are going to throw everything away and then he can get some more meat and start all the cooking himself again. I should imagine he will very quickly backtrack.

MoreGilmoreGirls · 10/01/2016 15:23

You are pregnant, he is unreasonable. That is all . Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy op

Original poster

whatlifestylechoice · 10/01/2016 15:33

You are pregnant, he is unreasonable. That is all

You are so right.

Thanks!

OP posts:

Littlef00t · 10/01/2016 17:09

Gilmore sums up perfectly my first thought!

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