To think my 6 year old should know better?

[Givinguph0pe]

I've just had a dd - born Christmas Eve. It has been a very stressful time as she was six weeks prem and we spent nearly a fortnight in hospital after she was born meaning I missed Christmas with ds and he was shoved from pillar to post a bit. Dh was always with him though.

We've been home nearly a week and ds is extremely rough with dd. I've been trying not to leave them alone but it's impossible when I need a shower or a wee etc! I've just come back from the toilet to discover ds practically lying on dd in her basket. I had to tell him three times to get off her before he did and I'm worried he's hurt her. He weighs about 4 stone. She seems ok but I'm livid with him. He is trying to be affectionate some of the time but he's just so rough. He was pulling her head earlier to try and turn it towards him.

He's six and a half and I think he should know better. I appreciate its a big change and I've been giving him lots of attention as dd is sleeping mostly but I realise it isn't the same as before.
Aibu to think I should be able to leave him with her for five minutes without him hurting her - intentionally or otherwise? Any advice from anyone?

He knows dd wasn't with me at Christmas either. She was in intensive care on Christmas Day, still being ventilated. Ds came to see me Christmas Day and she wasn't there with me.

I know he's had a rough time though and k feel awful about it. I could cry and cry if I think too much about it, I'm heartbroken for him. But I couldn't do anything about it. It was c section Christmas Eve or risk a stillborn baby and that would have ruined every Christmas for ever and ever.

Feel for you I used to take baby in bathroom with me she was extremely tiny as she was premature. I'd put her in her car seat and sit it on floor whilst I had a quick shower. I could see her and talk to her then.

It'll get better. By your son saying "ill just go away now" seems a bit of attention seeking to me. Normal though. It is a big change for him. Has he held baby yet or been a part of looking after her, like helping you dress her? It might help him feel like he's not being ignored. I know you're not ignoring him! But he'll think that at 6 with such a big change.

He's helped bath her and I always let him hold her if he asks. He gets bored pretty quickly though. He wants to feed her but at the moment she's a bit tricky to feed so I've said no to that. He held her before dh did actually.
I just want everything to be normal again!

Oh it will - this will become the new normal for all of you. You've all had a hell of a lot to deal with - the caesarian on Christmas Eve must have been very traumatic. It'll take time, that's all.

my ds are all rough and haven't much of a clue about being gentle with babies. they wouldn't think twice about jumping over a baby on the floor. It's all super new to him and he probably can't understand why your spending so much time and being so protective of his new sister. Plus baby's are boring to their siblings (well mine though their brothers were utterly dull until they could crawl about). Try and make some ds time every day. Perhaps a dad and ds time once a week where he gets to pick the activity (until your feeling better then it could be mum and ds activity).

If you go to the toilet then take her with you. Put her in her cot in your room if your need a shower and give ds something to entertain himself like some computer time or favourite TV programme

I'm not - I do understand it's a massive upheaval. We're all struggling with the events of the last few weeks.
But I also need him not to lie on dd or be too aggressive with her.