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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate getting up at this time

52 replies

UndramaticPause · 09/01/2016 10:51

Every bloody weekend my body refuses to participate in the day until I've had over 12 hours sleep. It's such a waste! Dh sees to the dc and is of the opinion if I didn't need the sleep I'd wake up so he leaves me to come too of my own accord.

Most of the weekend has gone :-(

Before some smart arse says set an alarm, I do. But It never wakes me and ends up going for so long dh gets annoyed and turns it off. I seriously cannot be roused.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/01/2016 11:23

You're not unreasonable to hate getting up but your post is a bit self pitying.

Sorry to be harsh.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/01/2016 11:26

It's only Saturday morning, you still have over 3/4 of the weekend left!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/01/2016 11:28

Presumably you're up and about and not lying in bed.

StellaAlpina · 09/01/2016 11:31

Do you feel guilty about having a lie in? Stop! You have a health condition and you work and look after children in the week. Enjoy getting a Friday night and a lie in. Your husband doesn't seem to mind.

But don't set the alarm though if you don't wake up for it and it annoys your husband.

If you feel you miss out on fun time with the Dec at the weekend you could try having nice brunches when you get up (so it's your breakfast and their lunch)

MissAlabamaWhitman · 09/01/2016 11:31

OP I'm still in bed as I am almost every Saturday morning.
I'll be showered, dressed and in Aldi by 1pm, my house is spotless, DP has already washed and ironed all the uniforms for next week.
I don't feel bad for lying in. I get to do it once a week, plenty of day left if you ask me.

fidel1ne · 09/01/2016 11:49

Your DH is probably correct, you probably need the sleep.

You are getting some very harsh responses.

nothruroad · 09/01/2016 12:07

Have you thought about doing a fatigue management class? I found it really helpful to avoid the type of weekend crash you mention. Look up boom or bust and decreasing energy levels. Even with a chronic condition I can get more done since doing this course and learning how to balance my time and pace myself.

TSSDNCOP · 09/01/2016 12:08

Oh for goodness sake. I've just read that CFS is what was called ME. It's not at all the same as being a lie in bed like my good self. It sounds like DP is correct and you should take an opportunity to rest when it presents itself.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 09/01/2016 12:10

There's bloody loads of the weekend left.!

Have a shower, have some lunch with wets family and get going.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 09/01/2016 12:10

Wets = the

LemonSqueeze · 09/01/2016 12:13

If you have CFS, you probably do need to catch up on your rest at weekends in order to have the energy to face your week.

I suppose the issues are:

a) If this makes you unhappy. If you feel like you are missing out on family life at weekends, its a case of seeing where else in the week you can catch up on rest/'bank' sleep.
b) If its putting undue stress on your DH. In which case, you both need to sit down and discuss what practical steps can be taken to address that.

I'm aghast at the responses calling you lazy. Obviously they have no knowledge of CFS!

TheHauntedFishtank · 09/01/2016 12:14

If your body needs the sleep it needs the sleep (former cfs sufferer here). You're not going to get better by burning yourself out. Your DH sounds very sensible, listen to him Smile

Icklepickle101 · 09/01/2016 12:19

As a cfs sufferer I know where you are coming from. Without an alarm at the weekend I could easily sleep until after lunch because my body NEEDS it, it took a lot of adjusting to and a long time to stop feeling guilty about it but if I continued getting up early at the weekend then my mon-fri routine would suffer because I was drained.

If a weekend lie in helps you function in the week then there is no harm.

ManneryTowers · 09/01/2016 12:21

Don't waste energy beating yourself up. Your DH sounds wonderful and very understanding! Be grateful for the lie in you've had, now get up, get showered and dressed and join in family time. Let DH have a rest later today if he needs.
I have no experience of CFS but did have PND and was very tired with it. I found oil of evening primrose capsules helped me, but obviously I don't know if taking anything is appropriate for you personally

harshbuttrue1980 · 09/01/2016 12:22

Unless your husband is a saint, I doubt he'll put up with this for years to come. As an adult and a mother, you need to manage your illness for the sake of the people around you. It must be awful for your kids if mummy's working during the week and lying in bed at the weekend. I don't understand why you're prioritising having date nights on a Friday when that means you can't be up with your children in the morning at the weekend. Its also totally unfair to your husband - if he was doing this, he would be flamed for being a crap dad and husband. Sorry, but you need to get a grip. lying around in bed all day is fine, but not when you're a grown-up and a mum.

Floppityflop · 09/01/2016 12:23

I think you need to catch up on the sleep sometimes. No way am I comparing asthma to CFS, but even with asthma I find a little lie-in at the weekend helps me to restore a bit of energy. Life is pretty full on during the week. If you feel bad about it set an alarm and have an afternoon nap if you can later on if still tired.

KinkyDorito · 09/01/2016 12:32

I get up but often need an afternoon nap on Saturday - work full time with fibro/CFS. The time 'wasted' resting at a weekend is the pay-off for still being able to work. It's personal choice. I need to work, so my weekends have to include some extra sleep otherwise I coudn't do it as I'd never come out of flare ups.

It is a real pain and I feel like I either work or sleep, but I can't afford not to. One up side of my job is that I have plenty of holidays where I get to feel a bit more normal.

Bobblehat10 · 09/01/2016 12:33

OP, don't listen to all the whiners on here. If you want to sleep 12 hours, then do so. If DH is happy with that, and the kids are being looked after WTF is the problem.

waitingforsomething · 09/01/2016 12:40

I think if you are unhappy , which your op suggests., then you could do one of two things.

  1. prioritise an early bedtime on a Friday, say 9pm so you are up at 9am and ready to do something with your children
  2. insist that your husband wakes you if you don't hear the alarm and then just get on with it. Take a nap over the weekend if you get time
ijustwannadance · 09/01/2016 12:48

OP, ignore the overreactions of the martyr mums, you obviously need the rest on ONE morning a week which I see no issue with as this enables you to get through the week ahead.If your DP has been working all week too then the sat morning is his bonding time with the kids and clearly doesn't mind or would be waking you up.
If the issue is taking medication late on the friday could you not carry it with you so you can take it while out?

maresedotes · 09/01/2016 12:55

Try to stop feeling guilty (easy to say). You have an illness. Do you have anyone you can speak to about this in a professional capacity? Maybe they can give you some tips?

Ignore people who say you should be making more effort/poor husband etc, My DH has MS and the medication he used to be on wiped him out for the whole of Sunday. I wasn't a 'saint', I understood that this happens and supported him in a caring way (like your DH is doing). My children didn't worry about him not getting out of bed to entertain them.

WindyMillersProbationOfficer · 09/01/2016 13:01

I'm utterly baffled as to why you didn't mention your illness in the OP.

GreatFuckability · 09/01/2016 13:06

i have a similar condition and I sympathise, its made all the worse by the people in my life who see me going to uni and coping during the week who then dont get why i often spend the weekend when my kids are with their father for contact flat out. its frustrating as hell as i dont WANT to sleep my life away.

lljkk · 09/01/2016 14:40

I dont' have CFS or meds or any illness & I would guilt-free sleep 12 hours on a Saturday (& Sunday) if I could. Insomnia doesn't allow. I am Not seeing the problem... only problem is not respecting your illness, maybe??!!

Wagglebees · 09/01/2016 15:24

Christ on a bike! You have M.E. Of course you're going to need more sleep. One of the major symptoms is post exertional malaise and fatigue. One of the only things that's been shown to do anything significant in the way of recovery is rest.

There's no way you should be feeling guilty about being in bed until 10.30am on a Saturday. These answers are utterly ridiculous. Your DC are fine with their DF, you are chronically ill and sleep is part of your medication.

I can only hope these answers are based on your op whet you missed out the crucial info or that posters don't have a clue about cfs/me.