More of a 'help me be reasonable' (14yo DD related)

[LilaTheTiger]

14yo DD has been off school for the last 4 days with a very painful sore throat, temperature and generally feeling awful.

She stayed at her dads last night and I was expecting her to go to school today. She hasn't, ok, still ill.

She's now text me and says she feels better. Can she go out for the afternoon tomorrow, spend sat night at her dad's with her friend and Sunday day out.

I'm thinking NO WAY. But I'm not sure if I'm being reasonable.

The actual plan for this weekend was to paint her bedroom anyway, and she has to clear it up a bit to enable this.

Stick to my instinct and say no? Because 1. She's been ill and need to rest before school next week and 2. We already had plans?

Or give in for a quiet weekend and no sulking teenager ?

Well I've given in. She presented a very good case, as 14yos can do when they neeeeeed to.

She's has one big bit of homework which she's doing tonight and showing me. Then she's doing her room in the morning and going out to have a lovely time.

When she said "There's probably something wrong with my immune system because I keep getting ill" (she doesn't, she's just dramatic) I took the opportunity for a proper mum style lecture on the consequences of not getting enough sleep and skipping breakfast.

I've done my best...

And there is no way she's missing school on Monday! None. Even if she's DEAD.

Glad you've reached a sensible decision. I couldn't really understand why you'd say no to begin with.

I don't know either. It just felt odd having had her home groaning all week to wave her off for fun and excitement. I think it was my mother coming through
My normal response to that is to do the opposite though
I never said no to her directly. Just that I'd think about it. I try not to make snap 'no' decisions, and think long term - having thought, I don't think in 10yrs time this weekend will have made any difference to anything

Good decision.
IMO - as long as she's sorted her room and done her homework I would let her go.

What about Sunday?

She's staying at her dads. It's actually easier all round because then she's not sleeping in a painty bedroom. She'd normally be there Monday night anyway, so is staying home that night instead.

I'm trying to let her (slowly, eek. This is all very tricky) arrange her own contact time with her dad, when it suits her so I know no one is forcing her there and she has mates about