To be shitting myself

[SisterSage]

Am at uni atm. Have been summoned to a meeting about my attendance last term. No detail given on what they want to talk about but my attendance wasn't good. The whole term was one disaster after another: I was ill three times (migraine which I get about once a year and wiped me for two days, chest infection that killed me for a week and one random unexplained glutening - I'm coeliac) DS was ill and couldn't go in to nursery twice, DH got appendicitis and needed rushing to hospital, then couldn't cope alone with DS on his days off which killed another two days, we had a burst water pipe and I had to stay at home to sort it, the bus I was on one day crashed into a lamppost(!) so I missed my train and consequently I missed a teaching session where attendance is recorded, though was in for the rest of the day. It just sounds like a catalogue of crappy excuses though. But all the things were genuine problems, not my fault, with no easy or alternative solution and unlikely to recur (apart from DS illness). I'm just shitting myself as I'm never ever in trouble (wasn't at school either) and don't deal well with being told off. I usually cry....

This is mainly because universities have to monitor attendance of foreign students who may be working illegally, doing a disappearing act, rather than doing the course that their entry visa specifies.

Universities cannot discriminate between UK and foreign students though so have to monitor all attendance. Also they have to be aware of student welfare issues and again will be doing this in case you need support.

It is not to punish it is to partly protect them and partly to support you.

As a doctor myself, I'm glad that the university is checking that students who may have problems are ok. When I trained, you were left to sink or swim and just chucked out if you failed end of year exams (1 retake allowed). Some people struggled for the whole 5 years, just scraping through re-takes and then failed finals - so they had wasted 5 years with no degree to show for it and these days they'd likely also have six figures debts.

I'm sure you'll be fine in the future, but the university is doing you a favour by monitoring your performance.

Well that was a lot of needless worry. He asked for an explanation, I gave one he asked if I'd made the work up or was otherwise struggling. I said yes and no respectively. He said that's fine then and sent me on my way .

I did tell you hun!

Bloody hell, you're doing medicine with a young 'un? You shouldn't be getting a medal!!! I take my hat off to you, I really do.

DH teaches at a uni, and the attendance thing is far more about caring whether students are actually OK than telling them off! Most lecturers recognise that life sometimes throws a curveball at even the most diligent of students.

(And for those saying 'where is your back up childcare option' - OP has one, in the shape of her DH. But he had appendicitis. The best laid plans and all that...)

Op in my experience them asking you to come in is them asking if they can help. This is university, not school. You wouldnt be told off. Just calming explain whats happened and i bet they look at ways to make up the attendance for you. I had a friend at uni who was a single parent with a toddler who had one bug after another (as they do) but the uni bent over backwards to help her, extending deadlines etc.