to ask what your DC with aspergers is like?

[livvielunch]

I'm pretty convinced my nine year old has aspergers and today I feel thoroughly suffocated. She never stops touching or following me, she talks at me constantly, doesn't listen to or care about anyone but herself. Does anyone else have a DC with aspergers who could offer some words of wisdom on how to cope on tougher days?

I have a 7 yr old ds with aspergers ( his twin has severe ADHD) and dd 9 waiting for assessment for aspergers (99% sure she has it)

Ds is a happy soul if left alone he is a bright inquisitive boy. He will often hug and kiss me and tell me he loves me a hundred tinesca day, still no eye contact he really doesn't like it..he says it feels prickly. He has a ta at school for him but the school try not to show its just for him so he doesn't get use to the constant presence. She will start him of with a task explaining what he has to do and let him get on with it staying close by but not next to him.
He mainly has trouble with the children tbh he is incredibly literal and kids just don't make sense to him at all. In some ways his brothers helps him out as he is very popular so ds is known and allowed to join in with playground games as he us xx brother and his quirks are just accepted.

Dd is more of a problem she high sky high anxiety and worries about everything. She often has meltdown over things and will scream shout throw things and hurt her brothers. At school she was the perfect student but lately cracks have been showing. She needs hugs and physical contact which tbh I find difficult after she has been screaming at me for half an hour because she has lost something. But she really can't see how her behaviour affects others at all...and doesn't seem to care.

We all muddle through :-)

shrod could you please tell me how you went about that? I suspect the LA probably are fibbing, at a workshop I was talking to other parents and support seems to vary considerably between LA's. I was looking into Interhigh for the future so that is great that you are getting it funded.

*My 10 year old NEVER stops.talking, barely sleeps, obsessed with things, very socially.awkward.And prefers to sit on her own drawing at school in break time. She's seen camhs and we've now been referred to paediatrics for assessment.

It's exhausting living with her, she doesn't have an Off button but she can be very amusing at times.*

This could be my 11yo ASD daughter.
She got diagnosed at 8yo.
Affection is all or nothing - from not even acknowledging e.g. a gradparent arriving or leaving to over the top, inappropriate smothering kisses.
There are too many other things to list. Anxiety. At even the mention of fingernail or hair cutting she panics and hyperventilates.
I always bath her rather that her mother because "it would be too much change".
Everyone who has ever met her knows what her current obsession is, they last for about a year each and are very intense.

Interesting about the performing - hmmm, maybe my DD does have it then.

Seems like it's almost impossible to say.

The more I read this thread and other things surrounding the topic, the more confused I get. The stress seems to be that no 2 children with ASD are the same. Fair play, I get that. No 2 children are the same full stop. But with such a huge range of contributing and contradicting factors how on earth can anybody know who has ASD and who doesn't?!?

Look at the traid of impairments manic. This is the diagnostic criteria for ASD. All children with ASD will have difficulties in these 3 main areas.

Sensory processing difficulties are also very common but not part of the diagnostic criteria. Many children with ASD have co-morbid conditions like ADHD, dyspraxia etc which will also affect how they present.

DS has aspergers. He's 10.

I suspect it presents differently in girls than boys so I don't know how useful this will be.

DS is:

Extremely affectionate and verbally expressive of his emotions
Very focused on things which interest him. Each interest lasts about 2 or 3 years before he moves on to the next. He is currently interested in aircraft and flying and 80% of the time is doing something off his own back related to this interest
Funny - he likes a joke
Very good at grammar and maths, but terrible at writing
Sharp witted
Generally pretty popular at school with both teachers and other children (especially the 'alpha' kids - the bright and confident ones). Girls in particular like him. He gets invited to a lot of parties, and has close friendships with both boys and girls.
There are some children who can't stand him. It is always mutual.

On the down side he's extremely argumentative and can be relentless when he's got a bee in his bonnet. He'll follow me around the house haranguing me about something until we both explode or he gets what he wants.

He's a fantastic boy!

BTW - I knew he had it from the age of 2.

The clues were:

• obsessiveness. He had a key obsession at the age of 18 months, followed by an obession with signs and symbols. This went on for a long time. After that came a car badge obsession. at 2.5 he could name every single car badge you can think of, including ones like Daihatsu, Subaru, Hayundai, Dodge, etc that you don't see often. He can now name the make, model, and list price of any car glimpsed for 2 seconds out of the corner of his eye.
• weird facial expressions. Either very blank and expressionless or very exaggerated.
• very inflexible behaviour. He didn't have a lot of tantrums but the ones he did have would reduce us both to trembling wrecks. He's my youngest and nothing prepared me for this.
• unusual food tastes: he likes food with extreme flavours - chillies (he'll eat them straight from the jar), weird scented food like violet or rose flavour dark chocolate, winkles in vinegar, tiny baby octopus... you get the picture.
• mixed up heat and cold for a long, long time. Still does.
• poor muscle tone in his fingers

I just knew he was on the spectrum. Took me several years to have him referred and assessed as school weren't interested.

I have been trying to get the LA to fund interhigh. Gave up and mine is now back in school but not at all happy.

Our SENCO mentioned ASD in passing to me the other day with reference to my just turned 13 year old but I can't see any likelihood of that personally. She has some mental health issues (very anxious and recently been diagnosed with anorexia) and has a tendency to isolate herself at times but she is passionate about performing, extremely perceptive and empathetic and reads people like a book.

Manic I wouldn't rule it out (or in!) on that basis. There are some good books out there on on how AS presents differently in girls/women. The empathy thing is complex and highly variable anyway.

(Some of the most perceptive and empathetic people I know have ASCs, including DC1)

Yeah, my DD is v empathetic with AS. She used to cry a lot when small for others that were hurting. She has learnt how to handle that better as she's got older.