to ask how you get used to not taking your child to/collecting them from school?

[livvielunch]

I'm at a point in my life where I either have one more child or a career I am partially trained/qualified in. I have always wanted to teach and know I would love it. However, without meaning to sound judgemental or goady, I can't get over the fact that it'd mean never taking my children to school, never collecting them, missing nativities etc. I've been a SAHM for 9 years and love it and part of me would love another child but they would be number four and we then wouldn't be able to afford for me to train to teach.

If I taught I'd drop my DC off at various childcare providers/schools at 7.30 and not see them again until 5.30. I just can't imagine it and feel guilty for even considering a career when we can afford for me to be a SAHM. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Aibu to not know how to get over this feeling?

I work FT and have done since before DD was born - now 10. I have very rarely managed to do the school drop (the odd few every year, maybe 10) - between DH, an au pair for a few years and a childminder that is covered. She was always collected from school by the afterschool crèche collection service, and I got her from crèche at 6.15pm. I had to take annual leave to get to some of the performances of the class, but have missed lots.

It is a little better in the past 2 years, as DD is going to a lot of extra-curricular activities in school, and the afterschool club there got space to accommodate all classes all afternoon (it was limited to the 2 junior years for the hour until the older years finished initially), so she goes to ECAs and then into afterschool in school. And while it is not her teacher, the lady running it was the SNA in her class for 3 years (for another child) and knows DD well so spots things and will let me know.

Both DH and I travel internationally at times for work, DH more than me but it does mean extra strain on our arrangements.

But we still make it work. I'd love to spend more time at home (I can't see myself ever being an "earth mother" loving a SAHM role, but I would love maybe part time) - but this does work for us. And when DD wsaa very small, she came into crèche near our offices rather than local to home, so DH would drop her and have time on his commuite, and I would collect her and have time on my evening commute with her. So there is always a way to make special time for them.

Usually you have three placements at different types of schools. Perhaps you are considering a different route to PGCE. Good luck with whatever you chose.

You get on with it. DS (6) and I left home at 7.30 this morning and I dropped him at breakfast club on my way to work. I'll get home at 6.10 tonight. At least with teaching you'd get more time during holidays, whereas my leave only stretches really to one day a week at home.

I'm the main wage-earner so I have to work. It's not ideal - I end up posting permission slips etc to school as I never get to hand them in to the office, and I know relatively other few parents, but I've had these hours since DS was 1, so it hasn't changed in all the time he's been at school.

What is it about school drop-offs that you'd miss? On the odd time I've done a drop-off (car borken down so worked from home etc) I just stand to the side whilst DS joins the line and goes off into school. Is it the ineraction with other parents or with your children?

Don't do it.

My friend was a secondary teacher she walked out in November it was too much and making her depressed and she had no children to look after at home. She had been teaching for years and came from a teaching family so she really knew that the job goes home with you and what it entails but this year it all just got too much.

Honestly, I was staggered at the paperwork kept for my nursery child-far more than I do at secondary. Daily photos and written accounts of how and when they reached various milestones. I would ask to volunteer wherever you want to go first and see the daily reality for yourself. I teach in secondary but have had to go part time to maintain my health and family.

Sorry - don't you already have four children? You need basic numeracy for a PGCE.

I refuse to do nursery as there is more paperwork! Nightmare!