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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why I am broody at nearly 43

33 replies

Kiddiewinks2008 · 04/01/2016 22:06

I have 2 dcs, 8 & 4 and they are lovely and I am happy and grateful for them.
And yet I have suddenly, from nowhere, become ridiculously illogically broody- and envious of people having babies.
Is it letting go of getting to a post- baby point in my life? I am not menopausal yet at all.
Is this a common thing? I am really shocked at how strongly I suddenly feel about babies again. I do also see my own babies growing up and wonder if I am just missing them being little.
Aibu to wonder if this happens a lot when your kids/you reach a certain age?

OP posts:

Nightzone · 04/01/2016 22:36

I think it does for many and also when you get past the big 40 it is a reminder that your fertility days may be coming to an end. A last hurrah for the broodiness hormones so to speak!! It will pass !

Narnia72 · 04/01/2016 22:41

I'm horrifically broody too! I have 3, - 8,6,3 and definitely don't want any more children, but I really miss being pregnant (strange as I was generally rubbish at it!) and having a snuggly newborn. I've just turned 43, also no signs of menopause yet, but I have incredibly realistic dreams about having baby no.4.

I wish it would pass, because it is all consuming at times, and yet I am totally clear that I don't want any more children. If someone could just lend me a newborn for an hour or so each day I'd get it out of my system!

2boysnamedR · 04/01/2016 22:43

I feel the same. 42 soon. Feels like a big pressure with 45 creeping closer as "supposedly" that's statistically a corner point age in fertility.

But I have four! I had to inject blood thinners six weeks after my last baby. I think this time it would be for my entire pregnancy.

Still it's not shutting up that hormonal urge ( or having only two sleep last night!)

5BlueHydrangea · 04/01/2016 22:46

I'm 43. Youngest dc is 6 and would love another. Have been ttc for a long time so bit different but would be amazingly happy if I got lucky.

KittyLovesPaintingOhYes · 04/01/2016 23:02

I'm 49, youngest is 4 and oldest 7, too late for another one (and quite frankly wouldn't want to go through all the early years stuff again) but I miss my babies and want to cuddle babies

Maybe it is my menopause - have a lovely implant and no periods so no idea.

I just want to cuddle my babies again, they're all legs and elbows now.

KittyLovesPaintingOhYes · 04/01/2016 23:04

Fingers crossed 5blue

lilydaisyrose · 04/01/2016 23:49

It's not too late to try if you and DH are both keen?

summerainbow · 05/01/2016 06:48

That is why a lot people I know get a dog.

knobblyknee · 05/01/2016 06:55

YANBU. I never thought of myself as a maternal person until I had kids, and I'm still broody now - in fact it seems to get stronger as time goes on.
I just decided its genetic, we are not so busy with our own and have time and the drive to help the younger Mums in the tribe

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/01/2016 06:55

My friend just had a baby at nearly 44..

Chimchar · 06/01/2016 06:41

I'm the same at 41 years old.
Have three kids, youngest is 10 this year. Why oh why would I want to start again now that our lives are getting to a different phase, and we're enjoying having older kids?

But I can't shake the feeling.

annandale · 06/01/2016 06:45

Hormones go crazy at this age, nature wants you to have more babies, your youngest is old enough to herd goats or work in the fields so your ovaries are talking. In my case I am having inappropriate lustful moments at work

TheHouseOnTheLane · 06/01/2016 06:50

I'm 43 and also a bit this way inclined OP. I was going through names today!

If I asked DH if we should have another, he'd agree. That makes it worse!

SunsofAlanKey · 06/01/2016 10:17

I am the same, 42 this year - my kids are 11 and 9, my DH has had a vasectomy. I know I don't want any more children, I was so ill during my pregnancies but at the back of my mind a little bit of me yearns to hold a baby of my own again. I have a dog - not the same, though he is a bit like my third child, but smells bad......

I think I am a big hormonal mess, suspect I am peri-menopausal and my pesky body is playing silly buggers.

tiggerkid · 06/01/2016 11:23

I feel that way too and especially painfully because I only have one DS, who is a teenager now. We've not been able to have more children and I feel totally heartbroken that now I am 40, it's very likely that our chances of having another are really diminishing by the day.

I think I am probably being a bit extreme with this but I literally unfollowed everyone with babies on Facebook because I found a painful reminder of not being able to have any more children in every single photo that people share. It's also another reason why I like to avoid my in-laws. They keep asking me when we are going to have another and have been doing so since my son turned 1. I don't want to discuss my inability to have any more children with them and always think that at least a possibility of such an idea could have occurred to them but it doesn't.

So, I guess although I am probably mad, these feelings are probably not unnatural. In fact, thank you for sharing your stories. I feel less bad about it all knowing that I am not the only person, who feels this way.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 06/01/2016 11:26

Annandale God...I'm sending DD1 out with the goats then! DD2 can cook. And yes to the innapropriate lust.

"Last shake of the bag" as Sean O Casey so pleasantly called it...when a woman has a surprise child in her 40s.

MNetter15 · 06/01/2016 11:32

I definitely don't want any more children but always feel a pang of envy when someone announces a pregnancy or I see a newborn

ElviraCondomine · 06/01/2016 11:38

I'm 46. My children are in high school/college. I'm going to have a hysterectomy in the next year (which is largely elective.) I like my life with older engaging, entertaining DC. I go out to the theatre, cinemas, galleries, museums etc with them and it's actually interesting and stimulating. I hated baby groups and never went. I hated baby classes. I find other people's babies incredibly boring. I hated pregnancy and had a bad time with SPD. I have a job I love which gives me a great work/life balance (though I never fulfilled my potential - am over educated and massively underemployed.)

And yet... I'd bloody love another baby. It's definitely in the hormones in my case - I'm perimenopausal and it's a bit overwhelming sometimes. And then I catch myself folding towels like nappies (yes, really - I miss the nappies) or getting teary over tiny baby socks in Asda. I've not told anyone.

This too shall pass.

SchnooSchnoo · 06/01/2016 11:40

It's all biological/hormonal because your coming closer to then end of your fertility. It's your body playing a trick on you. Don't fall for it!

SchnooSchnoo · 06/01/2016 11:40

*you're

Whatevva · 06/01/2016 11:51

I had inappropriate broodiness when my twins were nearly 4. I would have loved a singleton, have been quite happy to have had twins again and even thought I could cope with triplets if necessary . The thing is, I had the PFB from hell (the twins were easier) and I knew I did not want any more.

It was entirely hormones. I had changed pill to help me with my skin, and after 6 months of this, I changed back and went back to normal (ie, never wanting to go near another baby again )

Perimenopause brings lots of extremes on the hormone front. The lust is the good bit - like being a teenager again Make the most of that!

Mummyme1987 · 06/01/2016 11:58

I thought I was alone in this! Mine are are teens or almost a teen. But I want a baby so badly hormone wise. In my early forties. Wtf?
Haven't had any children with my hubby, all from previous marriage. It doesn't make sense in any way but I can feel a longing.

Mummyme1987 · 06/01/2016 12:00

I had thought it was because I'm finally happy in a lovely marriage where he's a absolute dream of a hubby and a great stepdad.

Whatevva · 06/01/2016 12:18

TBH, if I was dead rich and could afford the staff etc, I would have probably had another one.

Whatevva · 06/01/2016 12:20

(that would have had to have included full-on services from a private midwife though and perfect maternity care)

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