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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Birthday party etiquette - poll ?

43 replies

IncognitoFajito · 04/01/2016 19:18

Quick yes or no. DD1 birthday in a couple weeks .

She has two cousins similar age who she rarely sees . Maybe 3 to 4 times per year . They live close by . No other family so it will just be school friends .

We would like to keep numbers down due to cost .

Do I invite them to her party ?

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 04/01/2016 19:50

No, don't invite them. As others have suggested, do a separate family tea.

This is what we always did when the DC were small as they have so many cousins locally a party would have to be huge to accommodate both cousins & school friends.

Kittykatmacbill · 04/01/2016 19:50

No - do a separate family tea and catch up with the family properly.

SelfLoathing · 04/01/2016 19:50

Definitely invite them - so the parents don't see it as a snub. They may not come but remember that if they are the same age as your child, there is an opportunity there for your child to have cousins she grows up with and goes through the same things at the same time - which is a lovely thing in an extended family.

You should want your child included in their future birthdays - so 100% you should invite them. People can be very unreasonably tit for tat about this kind of thing

Lizsmum · 04/01/2016 19:55

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/01/2016 19:57

It's up to you,. I'd say Yes because their parents won't be pleased if there's a do that their your nieces have not been invited to. If it were my child excluded. Damn right I'd be nuclear.

iwantgin · 04/01/2016 19:58

I think yes.

DS has a lot of cousins - he doesn't see them too often but they have always been to each others parties.

They are all teenagers now and get on well.

5madthings · 04/01/2016 19:58

Just read your updates, no don't invite to main party but yes a family birthday tea type thing would be nice and would be what I would do.

MarieMorgan · 04/01/2016 20:04

We usually have a separate party tea for family - it gets harder for school friends and cousins to mix as they get a little older (fine until about 6 or so). Also, friends party when they are older usually don't include parents whereas the party tea with family is as much a chance for the grown ups to get together as it is for the children!

NotNob · 04/01/2016 20:12

hollieberrie · 04/01/2016 20:13

No, it'll be awkward as they dont know the others. Do a separate tea.

MimsyBorogroves · 04/01/2016 20:15

No.

But then again, I only ever saw my cousins at Christmas, or get togethers my grandparents held.

helensburgh · 04/01/2016 20:17

Leelu6 · 04/01/2016 20:20

Yes, I would invite them (as long as your DD is happy with it).

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 04/01/2016 20:28

I would, I always invite cousins and outside school friends to my DD's parties, even if it's mostly school friends.

saoirse31 · 04/01/2016 20:30

That seems sad for them all that they live close and don't see each other. My D's has cousins an hour away we, on both sides, make effort that cousins see each other regularly, cousins in diff country we Skype.

I'd invite them to separate birthday tea I think. I'd also try and help them to know each other bettet

40somethingwonderful · 04/01/2016 20:32

Arfarfanarf · 04/01/2016 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thickgit · 04/01/2016 20:36

If you invite them, expect to be invited to theirs, for the next fifteen years. Expect to then return the returned invites, for the next fifteen years. Perfect, if that is what you'd like :-)

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