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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think taxi should be split 3 ways?

168 replies

MyNewBearTotoro · 04/01/2016 14:45

I volunteer for a charity. Once a week myself and two other volunteers need to get a taxi together as part of our work for the charity. None of us receive any expenses from the charity so the taxis are paid from our household finances.

The other two volunteers are married and share all of their funds. The first time we got a taxi they paid the driver and I then gave them a third of the fare to cover my share. The last two times I have paid and they have given me 50% of the fare to cover their share.

AIBU to think if 3 people get a taxi then each person pays a third (and so they should be giving me two thirds of the fare when I pay) or are they right in thinking as a married unit with shared finances they count as one?

We will be getting a taxi together next week so it would be good to know what others think is fair before then. Thanks!

OP posts:
Cressandra · 04/01/2016 17:05

I agree with fish and weall. Tell them 50% of the taxi is too expensive and you'll go by bus. See what happens. Taxi makes sense for them financially, but if it doesn't work for you financially vs taking the bus, then of course it's not fair!

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2016 17:05

But that's the point, Maid - a taxi taking two people on the same journey costs no more than taking one person

Sure. It's why the subject is a debate, not cut and dried!

In theory, the OP could pay the full cost every time and invite four others to join her for free. It wouldn't cost her any more that it already was. Or the couple could have the OP along for free - no extra cost to them.

But there's a social etiquette here. Even if there is no added cost, we as a society frown upon those who are freeloading. It's not something I'd like to think I'd do, even if technically it might be financially acceptable in some cases.

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2016 17:09

We would agree on buying rounds but it transpired that they meant they would buy a round then i would buy a round. Rather than each one of us buying a round. So for every drink i got from them, they got two from me

I just cannot figure out what kind of people think this is acceptable.

I mean, I've been in rounds where the burden of both drinks has fallen to the same member of the couple, but that's their own business. But never been faced with the above.

landrover · 04/01/2016 17:14

I would be a bit disappointed with the charity though, if they wanted me in a different workplace, that they would not foot the cost, sorry!

Goingtobeawesome · 04/01/2016 17:27

I wouldn't say you can only afford it if split three ways. That gives them an out ie not their fault you are short on money. They are in the wrong. It is irrelevant how much money you have.

Oldraver · 04/01/2016 17:29

The thing with rounds when at the pub isn't relevant either as both partners are there. No one in their own mind would ask a single person to pay for twice the rounds compare to one who is married....

Yes the bloody well do.....Myself and quite a few people on here have said as much

BerylStreep · 04/01/2016 17:29

If you ask for two thirds of the fare you will sound petty. Easier to say 'why don't I get it this time, and you two can pay the next two times?'

Moob · 04/01/2016 17:32

Out of interest. If the couple were a dad and his 11 year old daughter volunteering, and it suited all to share, would people still expect to split three ways?

redstrawberry10 · 04/01/2016 17:35

Out of interest. If the couple were a dad and his 11 year old daughter volunteering, and it suited all to share, would people still expect to split three ways?

I think the dad should pay, but if I were the other person in the car, I would be much more sympathetic to splitting it.

But two adults? That's different.

TendonQueen · 04/01/2016 17:40

A) it's different because it's adults, as said above, and B) an 11 year old would not be filling a volunteer post in this way, so it's not a very helpful comparison.

And I wouldn't worry about sounding 'petty' (freeloaders like the couple never worry about this) nor would I offer to pay all of it, as they'll find a reason to disagree the times after, plus they've already pulled a fast one once (or more).

seven201 · 04/01/2016 17:41

If it's two stops then it's split 50/50 surely. If one of them was ill then it will still be the same journey and cost to you. Also, I take it you live really close together because if there's much of a difference then your or their share maybe should be higher.

HanYOLO · 04/01/2016 17:42

Deffo should be thirds each
Or just say you are getting the bus
But why doesn't the charity cover costs?

HanYOLO · 04/01/2016 17:44

oops sorry - just rtft

if you are ok with it then fine re charity

but can you not just go direct to location?

AyeAmarok · 04/01/2016 17:45

I think it's similar to holidays. If a couple and a single friend were going on holiday, then would you split the double room + single room three ways? Or would the couple pay for their room and single person pay their room?

It would depend on the circumstances, it would certainly be polite to offer to split 3 ways, but I can see both sides.

LyndaNotLinda · 04/01/2016 17:46

Moob - the fact the other two volunteers are a couple is entirely irrelevant.

They are three colleagues sharing a taxi. The End.

UndramaticPause · 04/01/2016 17:46

As they're travelling from one location (their home) then they count as one fare in a taxi

Fwiw when we go out I only ever drink on 'our' round as I drink soft drinks so seem to drink a lot slower than everyone else.

ImperialBlether · 04/01/2016 17:48

No one in their own mind would ask a single person to pay for twice the rounds compare to one who is married....

This has happened to me tons of times.

I just can't see how anyone (who's read what the OP has posted) doesn't think that they should pay 1/3 each. There is one journey - one drop off. The fact that two out of the three are living together is nothing at all to do with anything. What would those people who'd go for 50-50 say if out of three people two were now divorced? Or shared a flat? Or were mother and daughter?

ItsANewDayToday · 04/01/2016 17:51

Yanbu.

Next time I would tell them that you think they fare should be split three ways not two. I'd tell them before you call the taxi. It's always a little awkward having to mention things like this but it's much better to say something rather than fester on it.

By the way I would like to split the taxi fare three ways from now on as there are three of in the cab. Let me know if that's not ok with you. Thanks

It polite, crystal clear and there is no passive aggressiveness,

UndramaticPause · 04/01/2016 17:51

Have reread as its all 3 from one location to another then yes it's 1/3 costs or charity covers it

BuggersMuddle · 04/01/2016 17:53

YANBU - they should pay 1/3 each (how the couple work that between themselves is there own business).

I think that's a very different scenario to Moob's airport example of unconnected parties agreeing to share at e.g. an airport, or parties going to a one off event where there are groups including kids.

This is a regular thing so on that basis I think everyone should pay an equal share. I also view volunteering as being a bit more like work (so don't think you should be out of pocket, but thats by the by), and in a work context the fact they are a couple would be completely irrelevant.

Having said that, depending on the value it might not be worth the grief, so you may want to consider the bus Grin

Agree with others too, the pub thing does happen and shouldn't. It's incredibly rude IMO and I have gently explained to a couple of friends that they were not being entirely fair (oddly have come across a 'DW doesn't go to the bar / man is seen to pay' thing, which was particularly odd in one case as I knew the DW of old and she could most assuredly find the bar back then Hmm).

Ratbagcatbag · 04/01/2016 17:53

Eeeeek. Me and DH buy rounds as a couple. As in he buys and I don't. I've never thought of it as an issue, but that said. I'm always on soft drinks, tend to have a drink every third or fourth round and am very often the driver/taxi for whoever we are out with. Maybe I need to double check though.
Sorry for derail op, in your case they should pay a third each.

amicissimma · 04/01/2016 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidOfStars · 04/01/2016 17:55

If a couple and a single friend were going on holiday, then would you split the double room + single room three ways?

In a hotel, each 'group' pays their own costs.
In a villa with a double and a single room, the couple pay more than the singleton but not twice as much.
In a villa with three single rooms, the couple and the singleton split three ways.

Emochild · 04/01/2016 17:56

Taxis don't charge per head -I would split it 50/50

FelicityFunknickle · 04/01/2016 17:59

What if the couple were simply flatmates. So their joirney was "one fare" but their relationship was quite different from a married couple?
Would it still be ok (for those that consider them one unit in this scenario)
For them to pay half rather than two thirds?
I can, sort of, see why a couple might consider their finances as one pocket tbh. But it seems here that each person should be responsible for their own "cut".
Oh, and never buy rounds no matter who you're with, imo it's often a PITA.