Right Mumsnet give me it with both barrels...

[CainInThePunting]

I've not even name changed for this as I really do want to let it go. I'm single, I have principals and boundaries I don't cross however, I appear to be infatuated with an unavailable man.
He flirted with me, piqued my interest and now I find myself ever so slightly obsessed. He really is fucking lovely.
We met professionally. He at one point mentioned a 'missus' and although he doesn't wear a ring he also mentioned two kids under 10 so, clearly unavailable.
I've made no overtures, I've not linked with him in any way on social media etc but I do stalk him [embarassed]; he has a Twitter account and every few weeks I have a look...
Last year I decided this was pointless so I wouldn't look again. But I just did.

Please could you give me a virtual kicking in the head and shame me into not looking?

Oh god, I'm dreading the wrath.

Add message | Report | Message poster CalleighDoodle Sun 03-Jan-16 22:09:22
He isnt very lovely if he is flirting when unavailavble.

This is a very good point.

Continuing the poo theme, you could imagine the Alan Partridge scene, when he's taken some woman back to his hotel room, then before they've started with the sexy stuff, comes out of the loo saying, 'I'd give it a few minutes before you go in there'.

yes, sounds like you've got a crush. Try to think of the person he's married to, and his two children. Think of being married to him with two children and finding out he is flirting and encouraging another woman's interest.

He is not lovely if he is doing that.

Put simply, it is not right. It's not right for him to do it, it's not right for you to dwell on a married man with children.

Your integrity is worth more than lust for any man.

Biscuit

He's not looking so great now, is he Cain?!

Ah, Brilliant.

No he isn't at all, must hang onto the stinking bathroom image.

Thanks for helping Everyone.

I would have trouble finding anyone who refers to his wife or partner as his 'missus' lovely. I don't why but really grates. But love is blind I fear (except maybe to imaginary poos that should cure this obsession nicely, once and for all).

Oh and yes SirChenjin, I'm doing online dating.

I really don't want anyone else's. Unless it's already over. I'm 40 so can't be that picky.

I know what you mean Biscuits, but I managed to overlook that flaw, and the flirting whilst in a relationship....

If I find myself twitter stalking again I will remember the poo scene.

The trouble is, they will tell you it's already over when it's not. Following a well worn script which will never lead to your happiness, just a bit of light relief and an easy shag for them.

Try to find someone else to crush on. If this bloke would be willing to take it any further with you he would not be lovely, he would be a class A bastard, like so many I read about here (and sadly, know in real life). Hold that thought.

Sure, I'm aware of that kind of bastard in terms of OLD.

My apparent Crush hasn't tried to pretend he is available. He hasn't tried to contact me on social media. He did flirt outrageously but to be fair, it was just outrageous flirting and he didn't suggest any form of further contact.

That really ought to be the end of it.
And it will be, my Crush is the stinker out of bathrooms with coiling logs that don't flush unless you use a bucket! I have a son who does these so I can easily picture and smell it.

There's something quite enchanting about a crush but don't let it develop into a sordid affair. But I can't see the harm in some flirting.

No kicking from me. I admire your honesty. We are all human after all.
Bollocks isn't it when you like someone and they are married. I have been in same situation. My obsession has now gone thankfully. Knew him years ago from pub but lost contact.
Bashed into him in House of Fraser about a year ago. Hence a facebook request from him. I kept looking at his pics, then I came to my senses. He is lovely but sadly taken.

I had a crush on a married man. It was just a crush and even if the opportunity had arisen I would never in a million years have done anything about it. It passed.

crushes are shit. oh god. immediately thrown back into teenage angst, when one should be old enough to know better.

point and laugh at yourself for being an idiot over someone unavailable. it will pass and you will think wtf happened there and why the hell did I think they were crush worthy?

Op; you're lusting after him because he's unavailable. If he turned up at your door with his cases you'd probably run a mile.
& I don't think checking his Twitter account every 2 weeks is even mildly stalkerish ( every 2 hours yes )
You'll forget about him eventually.

How exactly did he flirt?

You aren't the first and won't be the last who enjoyed the attention from this man or any other who flirts when married. Don't kick youself. Just give yourself a shake and remember men who flirt when attached are, ime, slippery snakes.

Dixie they can't tell unless you accidentally favourite or retweet a tweet from 3 years ago

stalks whilst not logged in

Just enjoy the fantasy and as long as it's not taking over your life there's no harm in it!

Can somebody tell if you have looked at their FaceBook page ?

OP - if you think he's fucking lovely then he probably is. In terms of the flirting, the looks, the voice and the general magnetism/perceived chemistry. Enjoy all of that. It's not real life, day in, day out. It's like the very start of a relationship when you get butterflies in your tummy just to see him. No-one should tell you he isn't lovely, if you could act upon it you would.

No they can't tell for certain. FB will suggest friends for you based on who has searched for you, but it also makes suggestions based on similar interests, people you know, work places, where you live etc etc - so it could realistically be any of these things.